


Change of plans

by Swanheart



Series: The turning point [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Angst, Arguing, Blow Jobs, Bottom Draco Malfoy, Bottom Harry Potter, Boys In Love, Cheating, Cheating Harry Potter, Denial of Feelings, Dirty Talk, Dirty Thoughts, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, First Time, Fluff, Getting Together, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Mpreg, Infidelity, Jealousy, Love Confessions, M/M, Masturbation, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, POV Harry Potter, Possessive Behavior, Post-War, Romance, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Smut, Top Draco Malfoy, Top Harry Potter, True Love, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:20:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 69,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27658738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swanheart/pseuds/Swanheart
Summary: After the war Harry thought he had his future all planned out - until he developed feelings for a certain Slytherin.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley
Series: The turning point [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2065401
Comments: 63
Kudos: 502





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever fanfic that I'm publishing, so please be gentle. :) 
> 
> The fic is based on the books and not the movies but some mistakes might still remain.
> 
> Comments are very much appreciated! ❤️🙏

”Harry, do you still need that book or can i get it back already? Harry? HARRY.”

"Huh?" Harry startled and quickly turned his gaze on his two friends. Ron and Hermione were both staring at him. ”Sorry, what?!”

Ron rolled his eyes. ”I was just asking if you still need that book? My essay is far from ready.”

”Oh, right... Just take it”, Harry said, closing the book. He was absentmindedly stroking his messy hair with his fingers, and once again made a quick glance to his right. Ron slowly took back the book and started flipping the pages.

Hermione, however, was still watching Harry and seemed to hesitate for a while before speaking. ”What’s on your mind, Harry?”

”Well, I think we already know the answer to that”, Ron said and Harry turned to look at him.

”You know?” he asked.

”I’m not as stupid as you think, Harry”, Ron said, flashing a grin. ”You’re thinking about my sister."

"Uh..."

"No need to worry. I’ve already gotten used to it, you know, so there’s no need to feel embarrassed about it. It was weird at first but I don’t mind at all.” He gave Harry a supportive smile. ”I’m happy that you two got back together after the war.”

”That’s nice to hear”, Harry answered with a quick laugh. His eyes followed as Theodore Nott, Blaise Zabini, Draco Malfoy, Gregory Goyle and Pansy Parkinson walked past them and left the library.

"I'm happy for you too, Harry, and for Ginny of course." Hermione was smiling. "You two really are a great couple. I know we've been busy with all this studying, but you _really_ should spend more time with her. We all need a little love after all that happened."

She took Ron's hand in her own. Ron and his whole family had had a really rough summer because of Fred's death, but they were finally starting to get over it, though very slowly.

Harry watched their entwined hands for a while and finally lowered his gaze back to his notes.

Everything really was different now that Voldemort was finally gone. Hogwarts had been rebuilt and they were back for their extra and final year, 8th grade, trying to finish their studies. Not all of them had returned so there were much fewer of them. Harry, Hermione and Ron had skipped the whole last year, so they were back, of course.

Since there normally wasn't any 8th grade at Hogwarts, headmistress McGonagall and the other professors had done different arrangements this time. For example, 8th year Gryffindors were now sharing a common room with Slytherins in a whole different part of the castle and their own rooms were much smaller and in pairs this year. Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs were also sharing with each other. It had felt weird at first, but it was not so bad anymore. There hadn't even been any real fights with Slytherins, only a little quarrelling at the begin, but not so much of that either. Just like McGonagall had hoped, they had learned to tolerate each other better than expected. They still didn't talk a lot with the Slytherins and they all spent most of their time in their own groups, but they were also able to hang around in the common room in peace. One evening Ron had even played a game of chess with Blaise Zabini.

Even Draco Malfoy and Harry had finally made silent peace with each other. They still weren't friends or anything remotely close to that, but they also didn't hate each other so much anymore. Harry had testified for the Malfoy family soon after the war had ended and they hadn't been in bad terms since, he had been able to save them from going to prison, after all. Well, except for Lucius, but his crimes were too horrible to just ignore, and he really deserved it after all he had done as a Death Eater. Harry, however, didn't feel much bitterness towards Draco Malfoy anymore.

He had learned that the Slytherin hadn't had an easy childhood. Lucius had been a very strict father and had raised his son in quite a twisted way, and in the end Draco had been forced to get the dark mark and do terrible things that he’d never wanted to do. Harry couldn't forget the way his former enemy had been shaking and even crying in front of the whole court, so afraid that he would be sent straight to Azkaban. Harry had started to feel bad for Malfoy and he was happy to have been able to help him get rid of the charges with his statements. Then, a few days after the trial, he had received a very short letter from his former enemy:

  
_Thank you._

_D.M._

  
That was all the letter said, but Harry knew it must have required a lot from Malfoy to say even that much to him. Malfoys didn't usually thank anyone, so this meant a lot. They’d never talked about it afterwards.

Actually, they didn't talk a lot about anything, really. Sometimes they were even the last ones in the common room at night, but they still didn't have things to say to each other. They may have been reading or doing homework in different sides of the room, and the only thing breaking the silence would be the crackling of the fireplace, flipping of pages or a quill rustling against parchment. This could easily go on for an hour or two. Then the other would finally gather his stuff and go to sleep, still saying nothing at all.

But it was all fine.

"Yeah, you _really_ should spend some time together", Harry suddenly heard Ron say and was startled, again.

"What?"

"You and Ginny. You should go together to Hogsmeade or something. Anything."

"Yeah, right", Harry said. Right, Ginny. After the war they had continued on with their relationship, because that was the right thing to do, right? Everyone had expected them to get together again and Harry hoped to get married and have kids someday. Ginny was a good girlfriend. Of course she had her own faults, but so did everyone.

"Just ask her. She's missing you", Hermione said.

"I will when I get the chance", Harry answered, smiling.

\---

Later that day they were sitting in their new common room, relaxing. They had been doing their homework almost all day and evening and finally they were ready. They were the only ones there, plus Ginny, Harry's arm around her. She’d wanted to visit after dinner.

"What are your plans for Saturday?" Ginny asked Harry softly.

Harry shrugged. "Do we have any plans for Saturday?" He turned to look at his friends questioningly. Ron was petting Hermione's hair and shook his head. "I guess I don't have any", Harry said to Ginny.

"Well, I was just thinking… Maybe we could do something together then?" Ginny asked.

The portrait door leading to their common room suddenly turned around and Harry saw Malfoy coming in, followed closely by Theodore Nott.

"I don't give a damn about that, Theo, it's not-" Malfoy sounded annoyed. His gaze travelled through Ron and Hermione and finally stopped at Harry and Ginny snuggling. He didn't continue his sentence, instead he moved on and went to sit on an armchair on the other side of the room. It seemed to be his favourite place in the common room.

"I think I'll head to sleep already", Theodore said. "You're not coming, Draco?"

There was a short silence before Malfoy answered: "No, I said I'm not tired. I'll try not to wake you up." He sounded fed up. He took a comfortable posture in his chair and pulled a book from his schoolcase, disappearing behind it.

"You really should try to sleep more, you know", Theodore commented. "We have to wake up early..."

Malfoy didn't answer anymore.

Harry noticed that Theodore looked a bit disappointed before heading towards the bedrooms. "Good night."

"Night", Malfoy said without lowering his book an inch.

Hermione and Ron also left the room after a while, leaving only Harry, Ginny and Malfoy sitting in the common room. Seamus quickly came by to return few books to the bookshelf, but after that they were all by themselves. There was a deep silence for a long, long time until Ginny finally broke it.

"I could stay here, you know", she said casually. Harry shifted, turning to look at his girlfriend. There was a suggestive expression on her beautiful face. "Would you like that, Harry?"

Before Harry realized what was happening, Ginny had already closed the gap between them and pressed their lips together. They kissed for a while until Harry pulled away. He didn't know what to answer. He did want Ginny to stay, but...

"Would you like me to stay here for the night?" Ginny asked again, this time touching Harry's thigh.

Harry glanced at her hand and instantly felt butterflies in his stomach. Ginny grabbed his face and kissed him again, this time more eagerly. Harry kissed back with enthusiasm, Ginny was a really good kisser, after all.

"So...?" Ginny asked after they finally finished their snogging.

"I'd love it, but I don't think it's a good idea", Harry finally said. "The bed is kind of small - and I share the room with your brother."

Ginny laughed, shaking her head. "You're no fun. You know, there _are_ silencing charms", she said, winking. "Besides, the beds aren't even _that_ small. Dean and I never had any problems fitting there, you know..."

That made Harry frown. She really knew how to ruin a moment. "Okay, I think you should go now. It's getting late", he said curtly. "Don't get caught." 

Ginny looked disappointed, but got up.

"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then... Oh, right, I almost forgot, what about that Saturday?" she asked.

Harry glared at his girlfriend. First she was talking about sleeping with her ex-boyfriend and now she was asking him to go to Hogsmeade with her?

"I don't know. Let's talk about it later", he answered. He wasn’t in a mood to discuss that any further right now.

This time it was Ginny who looked slightly annoyed. "I guess so…", she sighed, quickly bent over him again and pressed a quick kiss on his lips before turning around to leave. "Good night."

"Night", Harry said.

After the portrait door closed after Ginny, he suddenly remembered he wasn't alone in the room.

He had totally forgotten that Malfoy had been sitting there in the corner this whole time while he and Ginny had been kissing and talking. He was waiting for a scornful remark at the very least, but it never came. Harry didn't know why but he actually felt a bit annoyed about the silence this time. At times like this he kind of missed arguing with Malfoy.

He decided to lie down on the sofa, closing his eyes, thinking. He knew what Ginny wanted, but Harry hadn't had sex with anyone yet.

Ginny was the opposite. She was beautiful and very social and because of that she had already dated several guys before him. Harry had only ever kissed Cho and Ginny, that was all the experience he had. He’d been too busy with defeating Voldemort and various other stuff. Even Ron had more experience with girls than he did, now that he was dating Hermione. Harry did want to have sex, of course, but tonight wasn't the right time for that.

Minutes passed and he was still deep in his thoughts when he suddenly heard Malfoy closing his book and getting up from his chair. Harry opened his eyes slowly. His gaze followed the Slytherin walking past him to the bookshelf and turning sideways to Harry, clearly looking for something.

Harry found himself staring, something which had already happened earlier once today, at the library. It had been the first time he had really looked at Malfoy since the trial.

Malfoy had changed his clothes after today’s lessons and so he was now wearing a white, expensive looking blouse and black, skintight trousers, both of which highlighted his slender body perfectly. His platinum hair was a bit longer now than it used to be and it was hanging loose against his pale skin. He had long dark eyelashes and a perky nose and his lips were slightly parted as he was brushing his long, thin fingers against books, trying to find the one he was looking for. Harry had used to think of Malfoy as an annoying pointyfaced brat, but the Slytherin had grown to be very attractive after all. No wonder many girls had a crush on him, though the number of his admirers had decreased dramatically after the war, because many students were now so afraid of him.

Harry frowned, realizing what he had just thought. Okay, what the hell? Did he just think of Malfoy as attractive?

Malfoy now had a new book in his hands. Having finally found what he was looking for, he turned around, returned to his chair and started to read again, not once looking in Harry's direction. Harry turned to stare at the ceiling.

An hour passed since Ginny had left and it was already midnight, but still neither of them seemed to have any intention to leave the room just yet. They still hadn't said a word to each other, either. Harry had to admit that it was starting to feel a bit annoying since the same thing happened almost every night. Why was it like this? They used to argue and mock each other all the time in the past, and now it seemed like they didn't have anything to say to each other anymore. Harry wasn't afraid of Malfoy or anything, but he just didn't know what to talk with him about. However, this was their final school year and after that they wouldn't probably ever see each other again, so perhaps it didn't even matter.

The sofa was starting to feel a bit too comfortable and Harry turned to his side, closing his eyes. He'd rest just for a while and then move to his bed, he thought to himself.

He didn't know how long he’d been lying there but when he finally opened his eyes slightly, he noticed that the room was a lot darker, Malfoy was still sitting in the corner of the room and… Malfoy wasn't reading at the moment. The book was resting against his thighs and he was staring at Harry.

Harry jumped up, noticing that the flames in the fireplace had died sometime while he’d been resting his eyes.

"What time is it?" he muttered quickly, rubbing his face.

"Half past one", Malfoy answered, closing his book.

"Oh... I fell asleep", Harry said.

"Yeah."

Another silence fell over and Harry got up, stretching a bit. From the corner of his eye he saw Malfoy also getting up, grab his schoolcase and the book he had been reading, heading towards the corridor leading to their rooms without another word to him. Harry followed him soon after. 

They were almost at their doors when Malfoy's case suddenly flew open and all of his stuff was spreading all over the corridor floor. He hadn't closed the case properly.

"Shit!" Malfoy hissed and angrily started to gather his stuff. Harry knelt down too, helping the Slytherin in his task.

It took a while before they’d found everything. Harry was crawling on all fours along the corridor, reaching for Draco’s inkwell that was still there in the corner, lying almost hidden next to a huge houseplant.

"Here", he said after finally getting up and handed it to Malfoy. Their fingers touched slightly as Malfoy grabbed the inkwell and quickly pushed it into his case, this time properly locking it.

"Thanks...", Malfoy said almost inaudibly, surprising both Harry and himself. He slowly lifted his sulky gaze towards Harry and their eyes locked for a short while. It was an awkward moment for Harry. He found himself staring deep into Malfoy's stormy grey eyes and for some reason it made him a bit nervous.

Finally Malfoy turned around, face completely expressionless.

"Night", he said quietly, walking to the door of the bedroom he shared with Theodore, not turning to look at him again.

"Night", Harry said back.

That night Harry slept very restlessly, turning from side to side. In his dream he was once again sitting on the sofa in their common room, stroking his girlfriends silky hair with his fingers. _"I could stay here, you know"_ , he heard a voice say and turned his head to look at her, but instead of brown eyes he saw grey eyes locking with his own, and platinum blonde, not red, hair against his fingers instead.

\---

Next day at breakfast Harry had a hard time staying awake. He had dreamt about Malfoy the whole night. From time to time he had startled awake, all sweaty and shocked, then zoned out again, only to dream about the Slytherin all over again.

"You look like a zombie, you know", Ron said.

"Thanks, Ron", Harry answered dryly, taking a sip of his orange juice. "I couldn't sleep well. I was having horrible nightmares the whole night." 

That really was the truth. Of all the people in the world, there had been _Draco Malfoy_ in his arms, leaning against him and trying to seduce him? _Definitely_ a nightmare.

Ron grimaced. "Yeah, I think I heard you groaning in your sleep", he said. "Was it about the war again?"

Harry turned to look at the Slytherin table where the star of his dreams was resting his face against his palm, listening to his friends, a diabolic grin on his pale face.

"Yeah... I guess I'll never get over it", Harry lied, taking a bite of his toast. 

Malfoy closed his mouth, still smiling. He was caressing his lower lip with his little finger and Harry trembled. He remembered Malfoy running his lips against Harry's neck in his dream. Oh Merlin...

Ginny walked through the hall and took a seat next to Harry, kissing his cheek. "Good morning", she said happily.

Harry lowered his gaze and continued eating though he was feeling kind of sick, not to mention tired.

"Morning", he grunted. Ginny turned to look at Ron and Hermione questioningly.

"He had a nightmare", Hermione gave an explanation.

" _Oh_ ", Ginny said and quickly wrapped her arm around her boyfriend. "You _really_ should have let me stayed for the night."

Harry sighed. "It wouldn't have helped anyway", he said. "Let's talk about something else. I don't want to think about those nightmares anymore." 

Yeah. Last night would be the first _and_ last time dreaming about Draco Malfoy. Ginny was rolling his messy black hair around her fingers.

"You need something to cheer you up, honey", she said. "We should really go, you know. On Saturday. It's the Hogsmeade day anyway."

"I'm on 8th grade. I can go to Hogsmeade whenever I want to", Harry pointed out.

"I know, but I can't do that", Ginny said, her arm still around Harry. "So... What do you think? Are we going or not?"

Harry hesitated for a while. He glanced at the other side of the Great Hall and startled when he noticed Malfoy glaring at them. Yeah, he would certainly be going with Ginny. Harry quickly turned to her, smiled broadly and said: "Yeah, let's do that." Ginny smiled back and they kissed.

\---

Now that it was their last year at school, the classes were much more difficult, there was a lot of homework and so little time to do anything else. 8th grade students weren't allowed to play quidditch either, not that it really mattered, because they wouldn't have much time to practise.

For example, they had been told to write _four_ long essays in only two days. They were also supposed to make presentations for their next Potions class, each one of them about a different potion. There was so much to do and so little time, Harry genuinely didn't know how he could manage to get everything done. He was so tired after last night and had planned to go to sleep early tonight, but it just wasn't possible with all the homework they had received.

Most of the Gryffindor and Slytherin students spent the evening in the common room, flipping through their school books, groaning, cursing and writing as fast as they were able to. Everyone was in bad temper.

It was midnight again when Harry and Ron were finally finished with their Dark Arts essays, heading to sleep with a few others. Only three students were left in the common room, including Malfoy who had fallen asleep in his chair after all the studying.

"They _enjoy_ torturing us", Ron sighed when they reached the bedroom corridor.

"Tell me about it", Blaise snorted, shaking out his hand. "I can't even feel my hand anymore!"

"Me neither", Harry said.

"I don't think tomorrow's going to be any easier", Goyle added.

They all sighed heavily and entered their bedrooms. Harry quickly changed to his pyjamas and went to bed, closing the curtains around it.

"Night", he told Ron and closed his eyes, thinking about Ginny. He had been very busy with homework today and Ginny had been busy with quidditch (she was the new quidditch captain), so they hadn't had any extra time to spend together. Saturday was approaching though, so it didn't matter. They would make up for it then.

\---

The school week was really rough but finally Saturday arrived. Harry spent most of the day at Hogsmeade with Ginny. They had a really good time together shopping, eating, drinking and of course snuggling, and Harry was feeling totally relaxed.

He was drunk when he finally entered the common room that night, after drinking some firewhiskey at the Hog's Head. Ginny and him had been kissing fervently before parting and Harry was still smiling widely. Okay, he was drunk _and_ horny. If they didn't have different common rooms, they would probably have ended up in bed together this time.

Seamus was just about to leave the common room when he saw Harry.

"Where have _you_ been?" he asked, lifting his eyebrow.

"With Ginny", Harry answered with a grin.

"Oh, I see", Seamus said, giving him a knowing look before disappearing towards the bedrooms. "Good night!"

"Night", Harry answered, taking off his coat and throwing it to the nearest chair. He was still grinning widely when he got a weird feeling and turned to look to his left, meeting Malfoy's glare.

"Hello", Harry said cheerfully.

"Hi", Malfoy answered icily, quickly breaking the eye contact.

Malfoy was sitting on the couch, staring at the flames dancing in the fireplace. Maybe due to his drunken state Harry thought it was a great idea to join the other man, and so he did. Malfoy gave him a contemptuous look.

"Why are you still here?" Harry asked.

"Can't sleep", Malfoy answered, turning to look at the log-fire again.

"Oh. I was at Hogsmeade", Harry said.

Malfoy didn't turn to look at him. "Oh, _really_?" he snorted. "I wouldn't have guessed."

Harry noticed that Malfoy wasn't in a mood for chit-chat, but since they were _finally_ talking to each other and he was drunk, he didn't want to leave either.

There was a long silence before Harry broke it off.

"Did you go to Hogsmeade today?" he asked.

Malfoy sighed, slowly turning to look at him. "Why are you talking to me?" he asked back, sounding pissed.

Harry shrugged. "Because I want to?"

"Well, don't."

Harry was starting to get annoyed too. "Why can't you just answer the question?"

Malfoy turned his gaze away. "Because I don't want to talk to you, Potter", he hissed. "Leave me alone."

"I'm not going anywhere", Harry said, shaking his head.

"Yes you are", Malfoy snarled. "Sod off."

Harry, however, shook his head defiantly. "Don't tell me what to do. I do what I want. I thought you had grown up already, but you're still the same dickhead as always. You really don't change, do you?"

Malfoy stood up, hands glenched. "I _said_ leave me alone, Potter!" He had lost his temper now.

Harry saw Malfoy reaching for his wand and gave a laugh, standing up too. "I'm not afraid of you, Malfoy", he said arrogantly. "I killed Voldemort! What are your chances against me?"

Malfoy was glaring at him, shaking. "Fine. Then I'm going!" he snapped. "I hate you!"

"Well I hate you more!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

They were just standing there and glaring at each other for a long time, until suddenly Malfoy's mask broke down, and Harry was shocked when he saw Malfoy burst into silent tears in front of him. What the hell..? He had not expected anything like this to happen. He had noticed that Malfoy was in a really bad mood but why was he crying..? Before he even realized, he had already put his hand to Malfoy's shoulder.

"Malfoy..." he started but couldn't find the right words.

"I don't need your pity, Potter", Malfoy grunted right away, not looking at him. Instead, he was staring at the floor.

"I just... Are you ok?" Harry asked.

Malfoy was biting his lip, trying to calm down. Finally he shook his head. "No, I'm not", he whispered.

"Are you _sure_ you don't want to talk?" Harry asked.

"Look, Potter... Why would I want to talk to you? And even if I'd want to, you wouldn't understand", Malfoy answered.

"Try me."

  
And believe it or not, they really did talk that night, even though at first the conversation was very, very uneasy. In the end, they ended up talking for hours.

Malfoy told him about all the horrible things he had been forced to do until Voldemort had finally been killed. All that torturing still haunted him and was the main reason for his insomnia. Harry hadn't even realized how much the war had affected the Slytherin - but now he knew. They also talked about Malfoy's childhood, his family and some of his future plans. It appeared that Harry had known almost nothing about Malfoy's life before tonight. He didn't even know why Malfoy told him so much about himself now, but he didn't mind.

It was almost 3am when Malfoy finally told Harry that he was tired. Harry himself had been tired for a while already, but he'd wanted to listen to Malfoy for as long as he wanted to talk. Besides, it was Sunday and Harry could sleep as late as he wanted to.

"If you tell _anyone_ about this, I _swear_ l'm gonna kill you", Malfoy told him when they were once again standing in front of their doors.

"Yeah, right", Harry teased, but after seeing the sulky look on Malfoy's face he quickly added: "I won't tell anyone, though. I promise." He passed his hand towards the other man. "Let's shake on it." 

Malfoy froze and stared at his hand before slowly lifting his gaze to him.

"You're finally shaking my hand", he notified.

"So it seems", Harry answered, flashing a very tiny smile to the blond.

Malfoy seemed to hesitate for a while before finally accepting his hand.

"Better late than never, right?" Harry asked. Malfoy lifted his gaze and their eyes met again.

"Yeah", he said with a nod before letting go of his hand, hesitating. "I... guess I should... thank you", he finally added. "For listening." He turned his gaze towards Harry's door, avoiding eyecontact. "And for not laughing at me. I can't believe I told you all that stuff about me..."

"No problem", Harry reassured quickly because he noticed how difficult this must be for Malfoy. They had always hated each other, after all. "I don't mind."

There was a short silence before Malfoy spoke again. "Well, see you tomorrow."

"You mean today", Harry answered.

"Yeah, today", Malfoy said before heading to his own door. He glanced at Harry one more time before opening it. "Night, Potter."

"Night", Harry answered and disappeared to his own room. He went straight to bed and fell asleep almost immediately.


	2. Chapter 2

It was almost midday when Harry finally got out of bed, simply because Ron didn't let him sleep anymore.

"You _already_ skipped breakfast", Ron said. "You don't want to skip lunch too."

Harry didn't bother telling his best friend that he actually had a hangover because of yesterday's drinking and that he didn't feel like eating at all. He showered quickly and dressed up just as quickly, before venturing to the Great Hall to have some lunch with Ron. Harry had hoped to see Ginny there, too, but she wasn't there anymore.

"She already left", Hermione explained. "She probably went back to sleep, she looked tired."

"Okay", Harry said, smiling. "I'm tired too. We had a really good time."

_"Please_ don't tell me more. I don't want to hear, mate", Ron groaned, covering his ears with his hands.

"We didn't do anything like that", Harry said, grinning. "But if we did, I wouldn't tell you anyway, so you don't have to worry." 

He finally started eating, even though he still wasn't feeling hungry. He'd have to eat something or else he knew he'd feel even worse soon.

Hermione was smiling. "Well, I'm happy that you finally got to spend some time with her", she said.

"Me too", Harry said.

\---

Everyone was having a lazy day, trying to gather strength for another rough school week that would start tomorrow.

Ron was trying to teach Pansy how to play chess, Hermione was reading a book and Harry was lounging on the sofa, chatting with Blaise, Dean, Seamus and Neville.

It was almost evening when the portrait door turned around and Theodore arrived, Goyle right behind him.

"Has _anyone_ seen Draco?" Theodore asked loudly. Everyone was shaking their heads. "No one? I've been looking everywhere for him." He looked worried.

"Maybe he's in Hogsmeade", Pansy said.

Theodore shook his head. "We just came from there", he said.

"Maybe you just didn't see him", Pansy said.

"Maybe", Theodore said quietly. "Well, in case anyone sees him, I need to talk to him." He left the common room with his head bowed down, heading towards the bedrooms.

Harry was thinking about Theodore’s words and realized that he hadn't seen Malfoy the whole day either. Okay, so he had slept until midday... but it was still weird. He wasn't worried about the Slytherin, but he was curious. He also knew how he'd find him and so he got up, going to his and Ron's bedroom, carefully closing the door behind him.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good", he said after a moment, pointing at the blank paper with his wand.

The Marauders Map appeared and he started his search.

\---

Malfoy was sitting under a tree near the lake when Harry arrived. The Slytherin seemed to be lost in thought, gazing far away into the distance.

"There you are", Harry said.

Malfoy startled and quickly turned to look at him. For a second it seemed like the blond was relieved to see that it was Harry, which was very weird, but the look quickly faded away. Harry sat next to him.

"Aw, were you _worried?"_ Malfoy asked in a teasing way.

"I wasn't worried", Harry answered. "Theodore is. He's been looking around for you everywhere."

Malfoy tensed right away. "I bet he has..."

"Why? Did something happen?" Harry asked, now the slightest bit curious.

"That's none of your business", Malfoy snapped right away.

Silence fell over. They were clearly back to their old normal. Malfoy was pretending to read but Harry knew he was faking it. Something was bothering the other man and Harry wanted to know what was going on.

"Did he do something?" he found himself asking, though he already knew exactly how the Slytherin was going to react.

Malfoy sighed heavily, turning his head to glare at him. "Potter. Yesterday I had a _really_ bad day and for some _idiotic_ reason I went and opened up to you, which _clearly_ was a mistake! That does _not_ make us friends." He once again returned to his book. "Or anything near that", he added.

"I know we're not friends", Harry said. "It's just weird that you're hiding from him all of a sudden."

"I am NOT hiding from him", Malfoy said icily, but Harry didn't give up.

"What did he do?" he asked. "Or did you do something?"

Malfoy rolled his eyes, seemingly frustrated. "You just don't fucking get it. It's none of your business. Leave me alone."

Another silence fell over and Harry was sure that he wouldn't get Malfoy to open up to him. Not this time. This time it was better to give up. 

He was already trying to get up when he heard Malfoy saying quietly: "He's gay."

Harry frowned, sitting back down to the grass. Had he heard right? 

"What did you say? Theodore's-"

Malfoy nodded, still not looking at him. Harry honestly didn't know what to say. He’d had no idea that Theodore was gay.

"So... You're hiding from him because he's gay", he finally stated.

Malfoy looked pissed. "It's not about him being gay. It's because he's in love with me."

Harry stared at Malfoy for a while, confused. Then he started to laugh. He just couldn't help it, this was too absurd.

"There's nothing funny about it!" Malfoy snarled. "Imagine Weasley being gay and then suddenly he had the hots for you?!"

Harry stopped laughing as fast as he’d started it. He didn't even want to think about it. Ron was like a brother to him so... _No._ Just no. 

"I guess it would be kind of awkward...", he admitted, slowly.

"Awkward? It's dreadful!" Malfoy spat. "I'm sharing a room with him!" He went quiet for a while, finally calming down. "He came on to me this morning and... Well. There was a kiss."

That's when it hit him. Harry finally realized that Malfoy was really telling him the truth. Malfoy and Theodore had kissed. He hesitated a while before asking: "Is it... mutual?"

If looks could kill, he would have been a dead man.

"Of course it's not mutual!" Malfoy hissed. "I'm not gay!"

"Okay, okay. I get it", Harry said quickly and waited until Malfoy calmed down again.

The blond was yet again staring into distance. "I've known Theo for ages and he has kind of become my best friend..."

Harry felt a little bad for Malfoy. He knew that Malfoy didn't have many real friends and now he was afraid of losing one more.

"He is _still_ your best friend, Malfoy", he finally said. "He's still the same guy. Nothing has to change."

"But it will", Malfoy sighed. "He's _in love_ with me. He admitted it."

Harry was quiet for a while, thinking of what to say. This weekend clearly hadn't been the best for Malfoy. First he had been crying to his ex-nemesis Harry, and now this...

"You just need to talk to him", he finally said, shrugging. "I’m sure he will understand. It won't be easy but it won't take long until he will find someone else and get over you."

Malfoy shook his head, closing his book. "Clearly you've never been in love", he said.

"What? I am with Ginny", Harry said back.

Malfoy sneered, finally turning to face him. "Oh, _of course,_ I almost forgot", he snarled before getting up swiftly. "You are a _real_ expert, Potter." He headed back to the castle, leaving Harry to sit there alone.

\---

"And here I thought that _Malfoy's_ the one who's gay."

Ron and Hermione were sitting on Ron's bed and Harry was lounging on his own, staring at the ceiling. 

"What? Why?" Harry turned to look at his best friend, feeling slightly confused.

"I don't know. He _looks_ like he is", Ron said simply, shrugging. "He could be lying, you know... Yeah, I'm pretty sure he is lying."

Hermione let out a laugh. "Well", she said thoughtfully. "If he _was_ gay, I don't think he would say no to Theo."

Harry and Ron exchanged glances. Neither one had any idea what Hermione was trying to tell them.

"And why's that?" Ron finally asked his girlfriend, lifting his left eyebrow questioningly.

"Promise me you won't get mad, okay?" Hermione made sure first and Ron nodded slowly, unsure of where the conversation was heading to.

Hermione's cheeks reddened a bit. "They are so close and... Theo's quite a good looking guy... No, let's admit it. He's a _really, really_ good looking guy. Nothing wrong with Malfoy either, you know... I personally think they would make a really hot couple!"

Ron was astounded. He just stared at his girlfriend for a while, before turning towards Harry. "Can you believe what she just said?!" he asked, amused.

Harry forced out a laugh, but he was quite deep in his own thoughts. Though Harry wasn't gay, he had to admit that Hermione was right.

Theodore Nott and Draco Malfoy were both tall and good looking young men. They were often hanging out, laughing at each others jokes, teasing each other... If they both were gay, they really would make a great match. He could almost imagine the two of them together, cuddling on the sofa, Malfoy moving his fingers gently through Theodore's darkbrown hair, looking at him with those stormy grey eyes of his...

No. Harry felt a sudden lump in his throat. He didn't want to think about it at all.

"Seriously, if he _was_ gay, Theo would probably be his first choice", Hermione said, smiling widely and then suddenly added in a teasing way: "Or _you,_ Harry."

Harry jumped. Ron was choking.

"Bloody hell, Hermione! Are you trying to _kill_ us?!" Ron managed to ask between all the gagging sounds.

"No, seriously! You have to admit that there's always been so much weird tension between Harry and Malfoy", Hermione said. She was giggling uncontrollably. "Ever since they met!"

"You _really_ have some sick fantasies, ’Mione", Ron groaned but he had a soft smile on his lips. "Just shut up." He pulled his girlfriend closer and silenced her with a kiss.

Harry was staring at the ceiling again. Hermione had of course been just teasing them, but he couldn't get her words out of his head. Or Ron's, for that matter.

What if Malfoy had been lying to him? What if Malfoy actually had some feelings towards his best friend and just wouldn't admit it? What if he had actually enjoyed the kiss..? Malfoy had gotten _so_ angry when Harry had asked if it was mutual. But then again, it was Malfoy, and Harry was used to Malfoy being a snappish brat from time to time.

He didn't sleep well that night. He kept on tossing and turning, trying to think of Ginny, but instead all he could think about was Malfoy and all the conversations of that day. He hadn't seen the blond after they had separated at the lake, but he knew that sooner or later Malfoy must have gone to sleep in his room. The room that he shared with Theodore.

\---

Like everyone had suspected, the next schoolweek didn't start any easier for the 8th grade students.

Ginny was also busy with her studies and quidditch, so it was a shame that they didn't share a common room anymore. They had only been able to see each other during meals the whole day.

Harry spent most of Monday afternoon and evening in the library with his friends because they had received tons of homework, and when they finally returned to their common room after dinner, Harry was exhausted. They all went to sit in the corner, Harry's eyes circling around the room. Pansy and Blaise were lounging on the couch, Dean, Neville and Seamus were sitting across from them... However, one particular pair quickly caught his full attention.

Malfoy was sitting in front of the window and Theodore was sitting on the other side of the table. They were finishing their essays. Together.

Harry didn't get it. Were they _really_ already back to normal, like nothing had even happened between them?! He hadn't paid much attention to them earlier that day.

"Damn", Ron sighed. "I wish it was Friday already..."

Harry wasn't listening. Malfoy was pointing at something in the book, lifting his eyebrow, lips moving, apparently reading out loud. Theodore leaned closer to have a look too and started to laugh. Harry hated his laugh. _Very_ much.

"I miss quidditch", he heard Ron say. "Maybe we should go play someday."

"Yeah, we should", Harry mumbled absentmindedly. "Someday this week."

"I honestly don't think you'll have time to", Hermione quickly burst their bubble.

Soon Harry heard the voice of a chair being dragged against the floor, seeing Malfoy and Theodore both getting up at the same time. His eyes followed them as they quickly gathered all of their stuff and headed towards the bedroom corridor. Before entering it Malfoy delayed, glancing towards Harry as if he had felt his stare. Harry quickly looked away. When he finally looked back, Malfoy had already disappeared. Harry was drowning in his thoughts.

"So they're back to being friends", Harry blurted out after few minutes had already passed. He wasn't able to concentrate on anything else though he really had tried.

Hermione and Ron turned to look at Harry. They had no idea what he was talking about. He quickly looked to his side, making sure that anyone else wasn't listening.

"Malfoy and Theodore", he said quietly.

"Yeah, right...", Ron said, giving him a meaningful look. _"Friends..._ We all know the truth."

"Ron, stop it", Hermione laughed, but Harry felt as if someone had just stabbed him. Was Ron on the right track? And why did he even care about that at all?

Before he knew what he was doing he had already jumped up. Ron and Hermione stared at him.

_"Harry?_ Where are you going so soon?" Hermione asked. Harry was as perplexed as she was.

"I'm not feeling too well", he answered quickly. "I think I'll have to go lie down already."

"Okay...? See you in the morning?" Hermione called out after him with a worried look on her face.

Soon Harry was standing in front of his and Ron's door. He was already holding the doorknob in his hand, but he found his eyes instead fixating to another door, not that far away from theirs.

He hesitated for a while before slowly shifting closer to that door, listening. He heard nothing. He shifted even closer and then closer again, until he was finally standing right in front of the door.

No talking, no laughing, nothing at all. Not a sound. He knew that Malfoy and Theodore were there so why couldn't he hear anything?! Were they sleeping already?

He heard Ginny's voice in his head. _'You know, there are silencing charms...'_ Harry's face darkened at the thought.

"Potter. What are you doing?!"

Fuck. Harry startled, quickly turning around and saw Goyle standing at the other side of the corridor. He had no idea what to say.

Harry felt very angry at himself for getting caught. "I... uh...", he started, trying to think of any suitable reason for him to be just standing there, right in front of Malfoy and Theodore's door.

Goyle gave him another questioning look, still waiting for an answer.

"I wanted to talk to Malfoy but he's apparently gone to sleep", Harry explained, quickly walking back to his own door.

"Did you even knock?" Goyle asked, eyebrow raised curiously.

"Nah, it's nothing important. It can wait", Harry said, opening the door. "Night."

Goyle didn't answer. Before the door closed after him, he could see the sceptical look on Goyle's face.

\---

The next day went by slowly. Harry was unpleasantly aware of the fact that Malfoy must’ve heard about his yesterday's snooping.

At breakfast Harry saw Malfoy and Goyle sitting next to each other, having a long conversation, and in the following Potion's class with the Slytherins he saw that Malfoy was constantly glancing towards his direction. Harry concentrated on his cauldron, pretending not to notice the other man at all.

By the time for lunch, Harry was _convinced_ that Malfoy knew. He saw Malfoy staring at him from the other side of the hall but instead of responding, Harry again decided to concentrate on simply eating and laughing with his girlfriend and friends.

However, in the afternoon he could no longer avoid Malfoy.

Harry was waiting for Ginny in the library, finishing his Dark Arts homework, and of course that was when Malfoy entered the library as well. Malfoy was already passing by when he suddenly slowed down, noticing him sitting there.

Harry kept on moving the quill against the parchment but Malfoy had already dragged the chair backwards and sat across from him. Harry lifted his gaze slowly, eyes locking with Malfoy's grey ones. They just stared at each other for a while. Harry felt a weird tingling feeling in his stomach and felt very annoyed about it. Why did Malfoy have this kind of effect on him all of a sudden?

"Hi", Malfoy said.

"Hello", Harry said back.

There was another silence between them.

"Greg told me about yesterday", Malfoy finally said and Harry lowered his gaze back to his parchment. "What were you doing in front of our door?"

"I don't know", Harry answered briefly, trying to shrug it off like it was not a big deal at all. "I thought that I heard some noice coming from your room so... Nothing else."

"Okay...", Malfoy said with a weird look on his pale face. "That's not what I heard... Greg said that you wanted to talk with me."

"Nah, just forget about it", Harry said, writing another sentence with his quill. He could feel Malfoy staring at him the whole time.

"So you were just _lurking,_ eh? I knew it", Malfoy teased, not letting Harry to get away with the subject that easily.

"Listen, Malfoy, I'm trying to finish my essay here", Harry said, sending a glare at the other man.

"Be my guest", Malfoy said, showing no intention of leaving. He leaned back on his chair, throwing back his head and stretching his arms, eyes closed.

Harry found himself staring at Malfoy's adam's apple and quickly lowered his gaze. He was really trying his best to concentrate on his essay but he couldn't help gazing at the blond from time to time. Malfoy looked really hot today.

Okay. Now he was really starting to worry about his mental health. What the _hell_ was happening to him?!

"You and Theodore are friends again, then?" he heard himself ask and wanted to hit himself right after.

Malfoy opened his eyes, glancing at Harry. "Yes", he answered, not offering any more information.

"Well _that_ didn't take long", Harry said. "Everything is back to normal already."

There was an lopsided smile on Malfoy's lips. "Yeah, normal", he said lazily. "If we forget the tiny matter that he wants to bang the hell out of me."

Malfoy's last sentence left Harry feeling very uneasy. The way in which Malfoy had said it was bothering him. So Theodore very much wanted to have sex with Malfoy... but had Malfoy _allowed_ him, or was he going to, in the future?

"Are you _letting_ him?" Harry blurted out, regretting it the moment the words left his mouth. He was seriously starting to get angry at himself. What the hell was wrong with him today?!

Still wearing that same smile on his pink lips, Malfoy leaned a little bit closer to Harry, beckoning for him to do the same. Harry did and Malfoy came even closer, about to whisper something to his ear. Harry's heart was thumping madly in his chest as he held his breath.

"You really, really have one dirty mind, Potter."

Malfoy leaned back again in his chair, grinning widely. Harry had never been so glad to see Ginny walking towards them as he was now.

"Sorry I'm late!" she quickly apologized to Harry, giving him a kiss. "I saw Luna and-"

"No worries", Harry reassured immediately, flashing a blissfull smile at his girlfriend. "Glad to see you."

Malfoy's smile had faded away and he was now watching them, completely expressionless.

Ginny then noticed who Harry was with - and she was _clearly_ not pleased about it.

"What is HE doing here?" she asked coldly while wrinkling her nose in distaste.

Malfoy, however, was already getting up. He clearly had no interest to stay with them anymore. Without a word or a glance he quickly exited the whole library. Harry thought it was a little weird, since Malfoy probably had initially had a reason to visit the library, before seeing him and deciding to confront him.

"I still can't stand him", Ginny said icily, settling down on the same chair that Malfoy had been sitting on earlier. _"Please_ don't tell me you are friends with him."

Harry shook his head. "No, we're not friends", he said quietly.


	3. Chapter 3

During the rest of the schoolweek Harry found himself spending a lot of time secretly observing Malfoy.

Malfoy may have said that Harry had a really dirty mind, but Malfoy and Theodore _really_ seemed to have something going on. Something beyond just an ordinary friendship. Harry was almost certain about it, and for some reason it made him feel kind of distressed.

Ron, of course, repeatedly kept adding fuel to the fire.

"Actually... I was going to keep this to myself but I guess I should tell you", Ron said, almost whispering. It was finally long waited Friday evening and they were eating dinner in the Great Hall. "I think I heard them last night when I had to go use the bathroom."

Harry froze. He turned to look at his friend, pretending to be calm when in fact he was everything but.

"You _did?"_ he asked as quietly as he could.

"Yeah", Ron said. "They seemed to be having _loads_ of fun." He paused, giving Harry a meaningful look. "If you know what I mean."

Suddenly Harry started feeling sick in so many different ways that he couldn't even decide which feeling was the worse of them all. His stomach was aching. His throat felt like he was being strangled. The food in front of him started to make him want to throw up...

His gaze got glued on Malfoy and Theodore who were sitting side by side while Theodore was whispering something against Malfoy's ear. Malfoy didn't seem to mind the closeness at all, instead he had an unreadable smile on his lips. Harry wanted to smack Theodore for whispering such things, whatever they were.

"Ron, stop that. You're awful", Hermione said, shaking his head. _"And_ a liar", she finally added.

"I'm _not_ lying!" Ron exclaimed immediately.

Hermione gave him a withering look. "I don't believe you. You're just making it all up because you still hate him", she said after coming closer, the tone of her whispering sounding quite angry.

"I'm _not!"_ Ron hissed. "You don't have to believe me, but I really, really did hear something last night! I know what I heard!"

"Would you mind telling us already?" Harry asked, frustrated. He couldn't take it anymore. He needed to hear what had happened, though he wasn’t at all sure if that was a good idea.

Ron looked glad that at least Harry seemed to believe him. "Well... there was some bed creaking... I also heard some moaning", he said quietly, cheeks reddening. "Then it stopped and I heard Theodore talk."

Harry frowned. "Did you hear what he said?" he asked.

Ron was trying hard to remember. He finally continued, whispering: "I think he asked Malfoy if he was ok and if he was in pain... Malfoy said it's fine and that's when I quickly returned to bed. Didn't want to hear them carry on, you know."

Harry was staring at his almost full plate with glazed eyes now. It sounded like Malfoy had given Theodore what he’d wanted... Harry didn't feel like eating anymore.

"Disgusting, eh?" Ron asked him, seeing the look on his face. "I wonder why they're not using any silencing charms? I guess they _enjoy_ being heard."

Hermione was glaring at Ron, clearly starting to get angry at her boyfriend. "First of all, there's _nothing_ disgusting about two men or two women together. Secondly, you've been just dreaming the whole thing!" she hissed as quietly as she could.

"Why on earth would I dream about stuff like _that!?"_ Ron hissed back. "It _did_ happen!"

"Even if you weren't dreaming, we still don't know what really happened", Hermione notified. "They're just friends, that's all. Malfoy told Harry he’s not gay so obviously they could _not_ have been having sex!"

"Well I'm pretty sure they were. You weren't there, Hermione!" Ron countered.

"No, I wasn't, but you shouldn't make any conclusions-"

"You didn't _hear_ them!"

"You just have a dirty mind", Hermione hissed.

"Why are you defending them?!" Ron hissed back.

"I'm not. But have you even thought about the possibility that maybe Malfoy was just having a nightmare?!" Hermione said persistently.

"Didn't sound like one!" Ron hissed. "But for _me_ it definitely was a nightmare, hearing him taking it up the ass like a-"

"Would you both just shut up already?!" Harry snapped a lot louder than he’d meant to.

Both of his friends turned to look at him. He had really scared them. And they were not the only people staring, they had already gained lots of inquisitive eyes on them, from all over the Great Hall. Even Malfoy was watching them, mouth slightly open, clearly enjoying the show.

"Calm down, mate", Ron whispered. "What's wrong with you?"

Harry's blood was still boiling, nearly everyone's eyes resting on him. Not like he cared about it at all, however, he was used to it. He was the boy-who-lived, after all, so he always had eyes on him.

"I don't want to talk about it anymore", he said.

Hermione and Ron glanced at each other. Hermione still looked a bit shocked by his outburst.

"You could have just _said_ it then", Ron said quietly, cheeks red. He was clearly nervous about everyone staring at them. "No need to freak out like that. Besides, you're the one who told us in the first place. You're the one who's been talking about them all the time..."

"Yeah, I know. I just...", Harry mumbled, hesitating. Finally he pushed his plate forward and stood up. "I don't feel like eating anymore."

He left the table, hurrying through the Great Hall. Ginny, who was sitting with her friends, was calling after him... but he didn't care. He kept on going until he was outside and pressed his back against the wall, breathing heavily. What was happening to him?

\---

Later that night Harry found himself sitting alone at the Hog's Head's bar counter. He had not planned to go there that weekend at all. However, because of everything that had happened today he had needed to get out of Hogwarts, just for a while. And so there he was, drinking again.

Harry hadn't seen his friends after the incident in the Great Hall and he wasn't ready to, either. He _really_ needed some time alone.

He sighed heavily, tapping his fingers against his glass. What the _hell_ was happening to him? It had to be acknowledged that Draco Malfoy had definitely always caused very strong feelings in him. Hate, disgust, rage... But never anything like _this_ before. He wasn't even sure what this was. It was really making him feel distraught.

What did it even matter if Malfoy was more than friends with Theodore? Malfoy could do whatever he wanted, it had nothing to do with Harry. After all, they weren’t even friends. So why did he care?

\----

An hour passed and so did other customers, but Harry was still sitting on the same spot, deep inside his thoughts.

Suddenly he heard two familiar voices coming from the door of the place. Slowly turning around Harry first saw Goyle and... _of course_ there was also Malfoy with him, coming in through the door right after his friend.

They started taking their cloaks off near the door and Harry's eyes lingered on Malfoy. The man looked stunning tonight. He’d clearly showered after dinner and put a lot of effort on how he looked before he had left the school grounds. Even the grey blouse he was wearing matched with his eyes perfectly. Harry forced himself to turn around again so that they wouldn't notice him staring at them.

Very soon they already walked to the counter, not so far from Harry.

"One Black Hog for me, please", Goyle ordered.

"And I think I'm gonna go with... The Triple", Malfoy said, then suddenly noticing Harry. He raised his eyebrows. "Make that _two_ Triples", he corrected right away.

Goyle gave Malfoy a questioning look before he too saw where Malfoy was looking at.

It didn't take long until they both got their orders and walked closer to Harry, taking seats right beside him. They all nodded to each others.

"There you go", Malfoy said, placing one of the Triples in front of Harry.

"Uh... thanks?" Harry answered in surprise, staring at his new drink.

Malfoy took a sip from his own drink, watching Harry from the corner of his eye with a bit of a haughty look on his face. Then he turned around, gaze traveling through the pub. "Where's Weasley?" he asked.

"I don't know", Harry answered with a shrug. "With Hermione I guess. I didn't come with them."

Goyle and Malfoy quickly glanced at each other. Malfoy wasn't able to hide his satisfied smile as he took another sip from his drink. _Bastard._

"So you're still angry at them?" Goyle asked shamelessly.

"I'm not _angry",_ Harry said. "I just got fed up listening to their bickering."

Silence fell over them for a while, each of them just sipping their drinks and listening to the other customers chatting. Then Malfoy and Goyle started to discuss something that had to do with Goyle's family.

Harry got some time for his own thoughts. He'd have to talk to Ron and Hermione tomorrow and apologize to them. It wasn't their fault that Harry's head was all mixed up all of a sudden. To make matters even worse, Ginny was probably pissed at him too, since he hadn't paid any attention to her that day. He would have to apologize to her too.

Soon Harry's eyes wandered to the blond Slytherin sitting next to him. The other man was sitting so near that Harry was able to actually smell his scent. There was this woody, spicy aroma floating around the blond. And something else, like... Harry tried to recognize the smell. Something like a slightest hint of vanilla, but still somehow masculine.

Harry found himself shamelessly inhaling the beautiful scent of his ex-rival. Damn... Malfoy smelled _good._ Harry realized how much he loved that scent.

The tingly feeling in his stomach was back again. He wanted to press his face against Malfoy's well set, silky looking platinum hair, smell it... then the pale skin on his neck, move his lips against it, caress it with them, taste it... He was nearly starting to harden at the mere thought.

That was when he remembered what Ron had told him earlier that day. Malfoy already _had_ someone else to do those things to him. Someone who just wasn't there with them at the moment. Come to think of it, why _wasn't_ Malfoy here with Theodore?

"Where's Theo?" He blurted out, interrupting Malfoy and Goyle's conversation.

"Why?" Malfoy turned around and asked slowly, sounding very tense.

"Just asking", Harry shrugged. "I thought he'd want to spend the Friday night with you after..."

He stopped when he saw the warning look on Malfoy's face. He suddenly realized that Malfoy probably hadn't told Goyle about Theodore and obviously didn't want him to hear about it now either.

"...I thought he'd want to go out too because it's Friday", he tried to correct his mistake. "And Blaise of course."

Malfoy seemed a bit relieved. "They were too tired", he sneered.

"So am I, but I had already promised to go", Goyle continued. "And I _never_ break my promises, so..."

"And I _told_ you that I can go by myself but you wouldn't let me", Malfoy said sharply.

"Yeah, because you _really_ shouldn't wander around the village alone, not this late! Not anymore", Goyle pointed out. "Someone could-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know I've got some haters who would very much like to get rid of me", Malfoy said arrogantly, like it was not a big deal at all. "My mother's _always_ telling me that and worrying about me. All the time. Don't start acting like her." He took another sip from his drink, rolling his eyes. "I can take care of myself."

Harry was watching Malfoy, thinking...

"You know, _I'm_ here and I’m not tired at all", he said finally, glancing at Goyle. "Feel free to leave if you feel like it."

Goyle seemed to hesitate for a while. "Nah", he finally said. "I'm staying." Harry had to admit to himself that he was a bit disappointed.

Malfoy gave Harry an amused look. "See, he doesn't trust us", he said teasingly. "He thinks we're going to kill each other or something the moment he leaves us by ourselves..."

Harry forced out a laugh, staring straight to Malfoy's grey eyes. A shiver went down his spine and the tingling sensation was back once again. There were _many_ things that he wanted to do to Malfoy at the moment, but _killing_ him was the last one on his mind.

Harry was startled by his own thoughts, coming back to his senses. What was he thinking? He had a _girlfriend!_ He had _Ginny._ What the hell was wrong with him?! He quickly turned to stare at his glass and took a big swig from it. He _really_ needed a drink.

\---

It was almost the pub's closing time when Harry was finally slowly making his way back towards the castle... with Malfoy. Goyle had left earlier, although he had still been a bit doubtful about leaving the two of them behind with each other. Harry didn't mind at all. He and Malfoy had actually had fun time together, chatting and laughing with each other. It had almost felt like they were friends. Maybe alcohol had affected a bit too, since they had still ordered some more drinks after Goyle had left. They were both quite drunk.

Harry kept glancing at Malfoy, who was walking beside him. Malfoy's hair was still well set but his cheeks were slightly red because of the alcohol, and his breath was creating small, misty clouds in the chilly night air as they talked. Harry tried to concentrate on walking but he just couldn't keep his eyes off the other man.

He had wanted to ask Malfoy about his relationship with Theodore the whole night, but he hadn't yet. Maybe now was finally a good time for that.

"Malfoy, I've been wondering", he started. Malfoy turned to look at him. "Is it true that you and Theo...?"

Malfoy looked perplexed. "What?" he asked.

"I heard about what happened last night", Harry said carefully.

Malfoy immediately stopped walking. So did Harry. There was an awkward silence between them for a while.

"And what _exactly_ have you heard?" the Slytherin finally asked him, pretending to be calm, but Harry knew that he wasn't.

"Well...", Harry started slowly. He didn't know how to say it. "I was told that... you had... sex with him..."

Malfoy's face darkened. His good mood was now totally gone. "What?!" he snarled. "Who told you stuff like _that?!"_

Harry's cheeks heated up a bit. "Ron heard you when he came back from the bathroom at night", he said. "He said he heard you moaning and some bed creaking and he was certain that you two were-"

Malfoy cut him off, furious. "Well you can tell Weasley to go to hell!!!" he snapped.

"Is it true?" Harry couldn't keep himself from asking.

Malfoy clearly couldn't believe his ears. "What?! No! I did NOT have sex with Theo!" he said angrily.

Harry was confused. Was Malfoy telling him the truth or was he just ashamed of what had happened?

"You didn't?" he asked quietly.

Malfoy shook his head. "I didn't", he said. "I was just having another nightmare about the war, if you must know. Theo was simply worried about me!" He paused, still very pissed. "I would very much appreciate it if you and your friends would quit spreading gossip about me and Theo! Or about my _any_ other personal stuff!" He angrily continued his walk towards the castle.

Harry was staring at Malfoy's diverging back for a while, feeling bad for believing Ron's story just like that. Hermione had been right about Malfoy having nightmares all along. Damn it...

He quickly followed the other man. "We _haven't_ been spreading any rumours about you or him to others", he hurried to say. "I _promise."_

Malfoy gave him a nasty look but didn't say anything.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have believed what Ron said", Harry continued. "But you kind of said it yourself... at the library. So..."

"Yes, I _did_ say Theo wants it", Malfoy interrupted in a cold tone. "But I _also_ said that you have a really dirty mind when you asked me if I was going to let it happen... Remember?"

"Yeah", Harry said with a nod. "I really am sorry, Malfoy. We won't talk about your personal business anymore. Seriously."

Malfoy just glared at him for a long while, until finally the tiniest possible smile appeared on his lips. "You better not", he said.

\---

They arrived to the school yard and Harry figured it would be wise to use his invisibility cloak so they wouldn't be seen wandering around the castle so late. They were now allowed to go to Hogsmeade whenever they liked – but there was still the possibility to bump into Filch and Harry was not looking forward to that.

"I think we should use this", he said, pulling the invisibility cloak from his pocket.

Malfoy was staring at the cloak in his hand. "Right... I forgot you got one. But..." There was a short pause. "Are we _both_ going to fit under it?" he asked, sounding a bit tense.

Harry smiled. "Yes", he answered. "If we stay very close to each other." Malfoy didn't say anything. "I've used it with both Ron and Hermione all the time", Harry continued. "And with Ginny of course."

Malfoy was eyeing him, still quiet and expressionless.

"It may not hide our feet perfectly, though. Since we're both quite tall...", Harry kept babbling. "But it's better than nothing. I don't feel like having a late night chat with Filch at the moment. So...?"

"I... uhh..." Malfoy seemed to ponder it for a while. "Let's do it", he finally sighed.

Harry opened up the cloak.

"Now, just come here, closer", he instructed Malfoy. Malfoy came very close to him and Harry quickly pulled the invisibility cloak over them. They continued their journey towards their common room in silence.

Harry was very aware of the fact that Malfoy's body was very close to his own, and though they weren't face to face, of course, it was still enough for Harry to feel a little awkward. Malfoy on the other hand didn't seem to care at all. His face was still expressionless, mouth a strict, thin line.

Now that they were so close to each other and under the cloak, Harry was able to smell the Slytherins lovely scent even better, as well. He was breathing it deep into his lungs, almost drowning in it. It made him feel like he was losing his mind.

He glanced at the other man. Those beautiful stormy grey eyes, long dark eyelashes... Damn, the man was breathtaking!

Malfoy was staring straight ahead, simply concentrating on walking. Harry tried to concentrate too but he just couldn't. His heart was thumping madly in his chest and all he really wanted to do right now was to grab Malfoy by his shoulders and press him against the nearest wall. He wanted to smell his skin, to kiss him hard, to rip his clothes off...

Harry could feel his cock starting to harden inside his pants and he was so grateful to be wearing a cloak to hide it. Malfoy would never know how aroused he was at the moment.

"Have you always been wandering around the castle at nights like this, Potter?" Malfoy suddenly asked, breaking the long silence between them.

"Yeah... Pretty much", Harry said. "Ever since my first year."

 _"Naughty boy",_ Malfoy teased, and his words made Harry tremble. If only Malfoy knew his thoughts... But Malfoy was not gay and he had no idea how he made Harry feel at the moment. Then again, Harry wasn’t gay either. He didn't know why he suddenly wanted Malfoy when he had never thought about any other man that way. He’d always liked girls, he was in a relationship with a girl at the very moment... and still, he had never felt anything this strong towards Ginny. Of course he had wanted to sleep with her too, but only the mere thought of doing that with Malfoy made him feel so… so... He couldn't even describe how exactly it made him feel. This was so crazy!

Finally they arrived to their common room. After walking through the portrait door Harry pulled the invisibility cloak off, wrapped it away quickly and pushed it back inside his pocket.

"Well, _that_ was an interesting experience", Malfoy said, staring at his feet.

"Yeah", Harry admitted. "I would have never imagined that someday I'd have Draco Malfoy under my invisibility cloak with me."

Malfoy lifted his gaze now, sneering. "I know." He was quiet for a while. "You know, Potter... I must say that I'm surprised. I actually had kind of fun tonight."

Harry smiled. He’d had fun too. Too fun, to be honest. "Me too", he said. "Perhaps we should do this again sometime?"

Malfoy actually looked a little bit surprised at Harry’s suggestion. "Perhaps", he answered. "I don't think your girlfriend would be happy about it, though."

"You're right about that", Harry admitted. "But she can’t tell me what to do. I do what I want."

Malfoy was looking at him with a lopsided smile. _"That's_ the right attitude", he said.

Silence fell over them and for a while they were both just standing there, still quite near each other, and that made Harry feel a bit uneasy. He kept fiddling with his messy hair, his head turned towards the nearest window. He was very aware of Malfoy's gaze still lingering on him and he couldn’t help but wonder what the blond was thinking about.

After a while he finally turned to face the blond. Malfoy was still looking at him, face unreadable. Harry's green eyes immediately locked with Malfoy's grey ones. They were so beautiful.

Harry's heart was once again pounding madly in his chest. Damn it. He was lost in Malfoy's eyes. He wanted to close the distance and kiss the man. His gaze dropped down to Malfoy's beautiful pink lips and then back up again.

Blood was rushing in Harry's veins. They were so close. He was almost starting to lean over… but his own thoughts stopped him right in time.

_'What the fuck am I doing? I can't do this... I can't do this to Ginny.'_

Harry forced himself to break their eye contact, taking a few steps backwards, unable to believe what he had almost done. He had nearly kissed _Malfoy,_ the man who he had hated for years. Malfoy who wasn't even gay?! And what about all his other thoughts about Malfoy tonight? He was _really_ starting to lose his mind.

"I think we should go to sleep", he said, not able to look at the other man anymore.

Malfoy stayed quiet for a while. "Yeah", he then finally agreed, turning around without another word. He headed towards the bedroom corridor, throwing one last quick look at him from the door, and then he was gone.

Harry just stood still for a while before following the other man. When he arrived to the corridor, he already heard Malfoy and Theodore's door closing.

That night Harry dreamed about Draco Malfoy again.


	4. Chapter 4

Harry apologized to Ron and Hermione early in the morning, which was an easy job because, to Harry's surprise, they weren't even angry at him. Actually they had only been worried about him after he had just disappeared like that straight after dinner, without saying a word to anyone.

"I just needed to get some fresh air", Harry explained to his friends. "And a drink, so I ended up in Hog's Head."

"We could have joined you", Ron said. "If you had informed us about your plans, that is."

"I know. Sorry about that", Harry said. "But I needed some time alone... I got some company later though."

Hermione and Ron glanced at each other and then at Harry, questioning looks on their faces.

"Malfoy and Goyle came there later", Harry continued.

Ron gave him a weird look. "You spent the rest of the night with _them?"_ he muttered. There was a bitter tone in the way he said that.

Harry nodded. "I did. Mostly with Malfoy, though. Goyle left early. Believe it or not, I actually had kind of fun in the end. Malfoy even bought me a drink." After glancing at Ron and seeing the slightly peevish look on his face he quickly added: "I'd rather have been drinking with you two, of course." He remembered their conversation from yesterday's dinner and decided that maybe it would be best to fix the misunderstanding right now. "And about that thing between Malfoy and Theo-"

"Oh for _fuck's sake,_ Harry! Tell me you didn't go and _ask_ him about it?!" Ron cut him off right away, face flushing.

"I did, sorry... I was drunk", Harry admitted. "Anyway, there's nothing going on between them, at least not sex. Malfoy was just having a nightmare and Theodore was worried about him."

Hermione, who had been oddly quiet, immediately turned towards Ron, giving her boyfriend a triumphant laugh. _"Hah!_ What did I tell you?! You shouldn't make such conclusions when you know nothing about it."

Ron looked pissed and like he was about to say something back, but Harry silenced his friends.

"Listen. I also made a promise that we're not going to talk about his personal business anymore, so if you don't mind...", he said, giving them a meaningful look. They both nodded.

"Fine then. I still think he's lying about that night, though", Ron said. "He's definitely lying."

Hermione and Harry were both shaking their heads, laughing. Harry was glad that things had gone this easy with Ron and Hermione. However, he was pretty sure that it wouldn't be this easy when it came to making up with Ginny. He’d realized that they had originally planned to spend part of the Friday evening together, and Harry had just stood her up without a word or a glance.

"Umm... Harry?" Hermione asked after they had finished laughing. "Does this make you and Malfoy... friends?"

Harry shrugged. "I honestly don't have a clue."

\---

Harry had been wrong thinking that Ginny would be pissed. She wasn't just pissed, she was _furious._ It was lunch time and Harry was walking through the Great Hall behind Ron and Hermione when he saw Ginny sitting with her friends near the middle of the table.

"Ginny", he said, putting his hand on her girlfriend's shoulder. She turned to face him, brown eyes flaring.

"So _now_ you're willing to talk to me", Ginny hissed at him. "Where were you _yesterday_ when we were supposed to meet?!"

Harry knew that Ginny would not be delighted to hear where he had spent last night, especially so after hearing who he had spent it with. Nevertheless, it was clear that lying to her girlfriend would only make things even worse. He had already told Ron and Hermione and they might accidentally let something slip, if they hadn't already. Besides, Harry wasn't afraid of Ginny's opinion. He had quite enjoyed last night with Malfoy and he didn't regret it. In fact, he was willing to do it again sometime, just like they had planned.

"I was at Hog's Head", Harry answered. "I had a bad day and needed some fresh air, so..."

"...So you went there and got drunk. Again!" Ginny snapped. It was clear that she was not in an understanding mood. "Were you alone?"

Harry was running his hand through his hair nervously, already knowing for sure what was coming next. "Yeah, I was alone at first, until Malfoy came there. We-"

"What?!" Ginny immediately cut him off. "You were with _HIM?"_

This time it was Ginny who gathered some curious looks aimed towards her. She had really flown off the handle, although not as badly as Harry himself had yesterday.

"Goyle was there too", Harry added quickly, but it didn't make Ginny cool down at all.

"I can't believe it! You would rather spend the _whole_ night with Draco Malfoy than _me?!"_ she raged, shaking with anger.

"I screwed up, okay", Harry sighed in an appeasing tone. "I'm sorry, Ginny."

Ginny had always had such a fiery, temperamental nature. That was probably one of the biggest reasons Harry had fallen in love with her in the first place. There had been so much passion between them straight from the beginning of their relationship – even though they hadn’t actually even had sex yet. Then again, Harry himself was a fiery person too so there was a downside: their arguments often became very nasty.

"I'll make it up to you, I promise. Tonight, perhaps?" Harry quickly suggested.

Ginny gave him a poisonous glare. "You know what, Harry? I've already got _much_ better plans for tonight", she snapped, standing up. "But you can always ask _Malfoy!"_ She turned around, her long fire-red hair swaying in the air as she flounced away from him.

Harry sighed. Ginny had reacted just like he had imagined she would. Her friends immediately started whispering to each others as Harry continued his walk along the hall, finally taking a seat opposite of Ron and Hermione. Hermione gave him an apologetic smile after seeing the look on his face.

"Ginny wasn't pleased?" she asked carefully.

Harry shook his head. He took a few scoopfuls of meat stew and some roasted potatoes to his plate, digging in.

"Well, she _really_ has a good reason to be angry", Ron commented.

"I know", Harry sighed. "But I still think she's seriously overreacting."

Ron was eyeing Harry like he had lost his mind. "Blimey, Harry!" he said quietly. "You stood her up for _MALFOY!"_

Harry glanced at his best friend, starting to get frustrated. "I didn't _plan_ it!" he defended. "It just happened."

Harry angrily forked some more stew and potatoes to his mouth, glancing towards the Slytherin table accross the Great Hall. Malfoy was sitting in between Theodore and Pansy, resting his chin against his palm. He seemed to be lost in his thoughts and Harry wondered what Malfoy could be thinking of. The Slytherin was staring at the table, not taking any part in the conversation with his friends...

"She'll forgive you eventually", Hermione said, interrupting Harry's wandering thoughts.

Harry startled. "What?"

"Ginny", Hermione repeated, wrinkling her brows. "She'll forgive you."

"She will, but you _must_ stop treating her like shit", Ron interfered. "It's my little sister we're talking about and I don't want you to hurt her." He had a strict look on his face when he continued: "If you don't want to be with her, just say it."

"Of course I want to be with her!" Harry snapped. "Don't be stupid, Ron."

Harry took another forkful of stew, lifting his gaze just in time to see Malfoy leaving the Great Hall with his friends. They obviously had already finished their lunch. Malfoy turned his head once to glance at Harry, flashing a smallest possible smile at him. Harry was about to smile back first, but the smile faded away quickly as he remembered his dream from last night.

_The curtains of Harry's bed were tightly closed. Malfoy was lying there with him, under the blanket, snuggled very close to him. They were both naked. Malfoy's left leg was wrapped around his waist and Harry's arms were clasped tightly around the blond, and Malfoy was whispering something to his ear, making Harry's heart skip a beat. Their eyes locked, followed by kissing and... some senseless shagging. Soon Harry was sitting on the bed, holding Malfoy firmly on his lap, sucking his neck and thrusting up against him. Malfoy’s fingernails were sinking deep into Harry's back. "Come, Draco. I want you to come for me...", Harry whispered, tightening his grip on the other man's buttocks. Malfoy threw his head back, moaning loudly. "Oh... fuck! I- ah!" The other man was almost crying of pleasure as Harry thrusted up again, harder and harder until -_

Harry trembled, forcing himself to return to the real world. He felt shocked. He had once again dreamt of Malfoy instead of Ginny, and it’d not been just any kind of dream. This time he and Malfoy'd had sex. Really _passionate_ sex. Merlin, this was _bad._ Thing's were really starting to get out of hand.

He didn't notice Hermione's concerned stare fixed on him as he tried to continue eating his lunch.

\---

After lunch Harry and Ron finally decided to go flying, something they hadn’t been able to do for ages, and Hermione was keeping them company, watching them from below.

Harry realized how much he had missed flying. He had really needed this. He loved the feeling of the cold autumn wind blowing against his cheeks and through his hair as he flew higher and higher in the air. It was a great way to relax and forget about everything else for a while. And Harry _really_ had a lot of things that he wanted to forget for a while. He needed to clear his head...

After flying Harry quickly showered in their dormitories. Ron and Hermione had already left to go to the library and Harry himself planned to go get some rest before dinner time. He closed the bathroom door behind him and headed towards their bedroom, bumping into Malfoy who had just closed his own door behind himself. The blond was now staring at Harry who was wearing nothing but a red towel around his waist. His slightly muscular, shower fresh body was almost fully exposed to the man standing right in front of him. The man he had just dreamt of last night.

"Malfoy... What's up?" Harry asked as casually as he could in the current situation.

"Not much", Malfoy answered. "Going for a little walk at the lake before dinner..." Harry couldn't help noticing that Malfoy's gaze lingered on his naked belly for a while until he quickly looked away. "Care to join me?"

Harry hesitated for a short while. "Well, I just came from flying... but yes, I guess I could join you. I'll just go get changed real quickly, okay?"

Malfoy nodded, avoiding eye contact. Harry quickly passed the Slytherin, entering his and Ron's room, leaving the door open.

"Did you have a hangover?" he called out, allowing his towel to fall to the floor as he started pulling his underpants on.

"Uh... Not really...", he heard Malfoy answer from the corridor. "You?"

"Me neither", Harry replied, searching for a suitable outfit from his wardrobe. Unlike most of the students around here, he preferred wearing muggle clothes rather than robes on his free time at Hogwarts. He found a neat enough looking bottle green blouse and some jeans and sat on his bed, starting to dress up.

From the corner of his eye Harry saw Malfoy walking in without asking for a permission. The next thing he knew, the Slytherin was already strutting around their room, looking all high and mighty, scanning it with his eyes.

"What's with all these terrible colours? Gives me a headache", he said scornfully, reminding Harry that even if they did tolerate each other a little better, the man was still the very same git as always.

"It's called _furnishing,_ Malfoy", Harry answered sourly, pulling his socks on.

Malfoy gave him an amused look. "You call _this_ furnishing?" he sneered, shaking his head.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Oh, just shut up", he said. "It's not like you have to sleep here."

"Well, thank goodness to that!" Malfoy sighed in relief.

Harry didn't even bother answering. He got up and walked to the mirror next to the door, sweeping his damp hair with a comb. Malfoy was now watching him, having apparently finished his investigation.

"There's no use", the Slytherin said. "Your hair's always the same mess."

"And you're always the same git, Malfoy", Harry countered tiredly. He grabbed his black coat from his wardrobe and pulled it over, glancing at the other man who was eyeing him from head to toe, mouth in a strict line. "Now, are we going or not?" Harry asked. He was kind of expecting for another witty remark but none came this time.

"Yes, let's go."

\---

Half an hour later they were standing near the lake in deep silence, Harry staring far into the distance, admiring the beautiful view in front of them. The wind had fully stopped after Harry had been flying and the surface of the lake was now still like a mirror. It was a very peaceful sight.

He stood there for a long time, just watching, relaxing, until he finally turned his head to the side. "Such a..." He was abashed to see that instead of the lake, Malfoy's eyes were resting on... him. Harry's heart skipped a beat in his chest. Malfoy quickly looked away.

"…calming view", Harry managed to finish his sentence. He was feeling very confused at the moment. The way Malfoy had been looking at him, almost like... But it _couldn't_ be. There was _no_ way Malfoy would be looking at him in that kind of way. Malfoy wasn't gay, he had said it himself. Harry was just imagining things because he was such a mess himself.

"Yeah", Malfoy said, now staring towards the lake. "I come here often. Whenever I need to... you know."

Harry knew. Malfoy had gone through a lot in his life and this really seemed like a perfect place to forget about everything for a while. He remembered the day he had found Malfoy sitting here, hiding from Theodore.

"Malfoy... Are you and Theodore...", he started after a few minutes of silence, not looking at the other man. The thought was still bothering him somehow.

"Friends", Malfoy answered indignantly. "How many times do I have to repeat myself?"

Harry didn't answer. He was staring at the lake again, hands deep inside his coat pockets.

"I had a fight with Ginny", he said.

"I know."

Silence fell over, this time making Harry feel uneasy.

"It was about you", he mumbled. Malfoy's eyes were now fixed on him.

"I know", the Slytherin said again.

Under Malfoy's intense stare, Harry could feel his heart starting to beat a little faster and he could feel the butterflies in his stomach again... God damnit.

Harry turned his head, their eyes meeting. "How do you know all this?" he asked.

"I was there, remember?" Malfoy said, like it was obvious. "I saw her flipping out and I'm not stupid. Of course I knew what it was about."

Harry sighed. "She was furious", he muttered, lowering his gaze to his feet. "I had promised to meet her yesterday and I didn't. I kind of forgot, so..."

There was a short silence.

"How do you forget something like _that?"_ Malfoy asked sharply.

Harry startled, facing the other man. "What do you mean?" he asked, brows furrowed.

"Well..." Malfoy was trying to find the right words. "I thought… if you _really_ wanted to spend time with her, you wouldn't just forget it like that?"

Harry frowned. "That's not true", he said stubbornly, folding his arms across his chest. "I just had a bad day, it had nothing to do with her. I do want to be with her."

"Right", Malfoy said tonelessly. He sat down on the grass, resting his back against the large tree behind them. He didn't say a word anymore. Harry was eyeing him for few seconds before he decided to do the same thing. He landed next to Malfoy and they sat there in silence for a good while, just staring into distance.

"It's so weird", Harry finally said, gaining Malfoy's attention. "Sitting here with you. Us not trying to kill each other anymore."

Malfoy sneered. "I know. Never imagined we'd manage to get along someday."

Harry shook his head. "Tell me about it..." He flashed a grin at the other man. "You're still an arse, though. But I'm tired of fighting, so..."

"Me too", Malfoy said, closing his eyes with a yawn. A wisp of his platinum hair was hanging on his forehead. Harry found himself staring at him. Malfoy's current posture, his eyes closed and his head thrown back... it reminded Harry of his last night's dream. The way he'd been sucking on that neck of his... holding him tight on his lap while... His cheeks started to heat up and he quickly looked away when Malfoy opened his mouth to speak again.

"So you went flying today, huh?"

"Yes", Harry answered, trying to wipe away his inconvenient thoughts. It was difficult.

Malfoy grinned, slightly opening his eyes. "Gotten any better at it?" he asked teasingly.

"Hah! Still better than you", Harry answered with a laugh. He wasn't even lying. Malfoy had always been quite good at quidditch but not as good as Harry. Not even close.

"Yeah _right",_ Malfoy sneered. "We'll see about that. Tomorrow morning."

Harry was left surprised. "I don't think I follow", he managed to say.

"You _really_ aren't the sharpest tool in the box, are you, Potter?" Malfoy sighed in amusement. "Let me spell it out for you." He started to speak slowly, like he was talking to a very small child. "You, me, flying, tomorrow. After breakfast? Sound like a plan to you?"

"I guess so", Harry answered with a shrug. "Just have to check that there isn't any quidditch practise though." He was still perplexed by Malfoy's suggestion. Were they really going to spend the Sunday morning together?

"Great", Malfoy said with a diabolic smile on his lips. "I'm going to _kick_ your ass!"

\---

Saturday evening passed by quickly and in a flash it was already Sunday morning. They were having breakfast at the Great Hall and Harry's thoughts were already on what was coming next. Of all people, he would go flying with Malfoy. They had planned to be heading straight to Quidditch pitch after they'd finished their breakfast.

"Let's go to Honeydukes too", Ron said. Harry lifted his gaze towards his best friend, sitting on the other side of the table.

Hermione gave her boyfriend a slightly disapproving look. _"Again?"_ she asked.

"What? I'm all out of chocolate", Ron answered with a shrug.

"So? You eat way too much sugar, Ronald", Hermione said with a heavy sigh, shaking her head.

Harry grinned. "Well, if you're going, bring me some fudge and... some chocolate wands?" he asked after pondering between different kind of treats for a while in his mind.

Ron raised one of his eyebrows. "I thought you're coming _with_ us?" he questioned.

Harry quickly shook his head. "Nah, I'll pass this time", he said. "I already promised to go flying after breakfast."

Hermione was delighted. "Oh! But that's wonderful news!" she said with a smile. "I knew you'd kiss and make up soon."

"Uh...", Harry started, not knowing how he should say it. "Actually, I'm not going with Ginny." He paused. "I'm going with Malfoy."

Ron and Hermione exchanged glances.

"You're going with... Malfoy", Ron finally repeated sceptically whereas Hermione was now silent as a grave, just staring at Harry.

Harry nodded. "Yes", he said like it was not a big deal at all. "He asked me to go flying yesterday."

"And _why_ did he ask you?" Ron pressed.

Harry shrugged. "How should I know? He just _did."_

No one said a word for a while, they all simply continued eating their breakfast in silence. Harry quickly glanced towards the Slytherin table, seeing Malfoy laughing his head off with Blaise and Theodore. They seemed to be having a blast.

Harry returned to eating, forking a piece of bacon to his mouth. He lifted his gaze back to his friends, only to see Hermione's brown eyes still observing him.

"What? Something on my face?" he inquired.

"Have you even _tried_ to make up with Ginny yet?" Hermione replied with a question of her own.  
  
Harry took a big swig of orange juice and grimaced. "Not yet", he answered. "But I will. Later today I guess... I wanted to give her some time."

"She doesn't need _time,_ Harry... She's only waiting for an apology", Hermione pointed out.

Harry sighed. "Yeah, yeah. I just said that I'm going to talk to her later. When I get the time to do that." He was starting to get annoyed by his friends interfering in his love life all the time.

Ron and Hermione didn't bring it up anymore.

\---

When Harry reached the Quidditch Pitch later that morning, Malfoy was already waiting for him there, leaning on his broomstick.

"What took you so long?" the Slytherin asked him, looking bored.

"To my knowledge we didn't decide any specific time", Harry notified.

"Whatever", Malfoy said. "Let's get started already."

In a flash the blond was already in the air, flying away fast. Harry soon followed Malfoy on his own broomstick, catching up to him almost instantly.

"Well then", Harry said. "Let's race, shall we?"

First they simply tried to see which one of them mounted their broom faster. Harry won Malfoy everytime.

"What did I tell you? Still better than you", he teased.

Malfoy rolled his eyes. "As if! You were just lucky this time", he insisted, making Harry laugh.

Later Harry released the Snitch he had brought there with him. Since they both used to be Seekers in their own teams, they also wanted to have a competition about catching the Snitch.

"Oh yeah. Now's the time for the _actual_ contest", Malfoy said, exuding confidence.

"Is _now_ supposed to be the time that you're _finally_ kicking my ass?" Harry bullied, gaining a sulky glare from the blond. "For the _first time_ in your life?" he added.

"We'll see who laughs at the end", Malfoy snarled.

To Harry's surprise, Malfoy actually did beat him this time. Today was clearly not Harry's day. The Snitch escaped him a total of seven times. Secondly, Malfoy kept deliberately misleading him. All the time. Just like he had used to do for years. But this time Harry also found himself getting distracted by how Malfoy’s body moved on his broom in a whole new way.

In the end they both saw the Snitch at the very same time and soon they were flying very close to each other, side by side, each trying to reach it first. It reminded Harry of one of their quidditch matches many years ago.

Harry had quite a good lead, but then, all of a sudden, Malfoy approached him and grabbed the Snitch right under his nose. Harry cursed out loudly when he heard Malfoy rejoicing next to him.

Harry soon flew down, landing softly on the soft grass and jumped off his broom, panting. Malfoy followed him soon after, squeezing the Snitch in his hand and swaying it at him in the air, wearing a wide grin on his face.

"Hah! Who's the best!" the Slytherin cheered.

"Oh, sod off", Harry replied, but he wasn't irritated though, not really. It didn't really matter who had won today. The only thing that mattered was that he had kind of enjoyed spending time with Malfoy once again. It felt weird.

"Next time I'm the one who kicks your ass", he finally said after Malfoy had returned the Snitch to him.

Malfoy looked surprised. "You wanna play again?" he asked, raising his eyebrow.

"I guess so", Harry said. "However, it won't be anytime soon since it's Monday again tomorrow."

"Yeah", Malfoy said, stroking his hair which had gotten all ruffled after flying. Harry found himself secretly eyeing him for far too long, again.

"And I got to talk to Ginny", he finally added, lowering his gaze towards his feet. Malfoy, instead, turned to him. "I have to apologize for being an arse to her."

Malfoy's face was unreadable. "Right", he said, turning towards the castle. "We should probably get going."

"Yeah."


	5. Chapter 5

Harry and Ginny managed to wipe the slate clean and things went almost entirely back to normal between them. However, after their argument happened, Harry noticed that they were spending a lot more time together than they'd used to before. Ginny was now constantly wanting to see him and they agreed to meet each other in whatever place they felt suited them at that time, but mostly in their common rooms though.

They also spent a lot of time at the library, just studying and whispering (since Madam Pince didn't allow much talking there) and they really had a lot to study for. N.E.W.T. exams were to be held at the end of their final year so when they weren't doing their homework, they were already rehearsing everything they had been studying in their earlier years. Since Harry still wished to become an Auror after graduating, he had to study many subjects: Care of Magical Creatures, Charms, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Herbology, Potions, and Transfiguration. There was _a lot_ to remember in all of those and sometimes Harry felt that his head might explode because of all the information. And to be honest, it wasn't the only reason...  
  
Harry really liked spending his free time with his girlfriend but there was also a but. Since Ginny still couldn't stand Malfoy and Ginny was with Harry most of the time, he didn't really get a chance to spend time with the Slytherin at all. And it bothered him. The slow bonding that had been happening earlier between him and Malfoy had brought something _so new_ to Harry's life, something that he couldn't quite explain to himself. And now it was just... gone.  
  
Harry would still watch Malfoy from a distance. In fact he did that a lot.

He would watch Malfoy spending time with his Slytherin friends. He would watch him in their shared classes: Transfiguration and Potions, seeing him fully concentrating on his studies. He would watch Malfoy studying or hanging out with Theodore a lot, spending way too much time together for Harry's liking. He would watch Malfoy at the library: see the blond walking alone between the bookshelves, browsing through the dusty books with a blank face. He would watch him at meals at the Great Hall, noticing how little he actually ever ate anything. He would watch Malfoy spend less and less of his time with others at their Common room and go spend it in his own bedroom instead. It made Harry feel kind of sad somehow, but he didn't have a chance to confront Malfoy because he was, after all, always with Ginny. But that was how few weeks passed on and suddenly it was already November.

  
  
One evening after paying a visit to Hagrid, Harry was walking back towards the castle to have some dinner... and that was when he saw him. The blond Slytherin was walking along the lakefront with slow pace, hands deep in his pockets, head bowed down. Why wasn't Malfoy at dinner?  
  
Harry didn't hesitate. He immediately found himself heading straight towards the lake, across the field of grass that was not yet covered in snow.  
  
"Malfoy!" he called out when he was about 20 meters away. He saw the other man startle and then glance towards him. Without saying a word to Harry, the man quickly turned back towards the lake, turning his back on him.  
  
Harry reached Malfoy soon and laid his hand on his shoulder. "Hey. What's up?" he asked.  
  
Malfoy was looking out at the lake, avoiding eye contact, not answering his question. It made Harry wonder what was going on. Malfoy clearly wasn't himself at the moment.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Malfoy finally asked instead of answering to Harry's question. Harry noticed that Malfoy sounded very tense, so he slowly pulled his hand away from the other man's shoulder.  
  
"I came from Hagrid's and saw you here", he answered. Malfoy didn't say anything back, so Harry added: "What about you?"  
  
"Nothing", Malfoy answered, toneless. There was another short silence before he asked: "Why did you come?"  
  
Harry gazed at the blond who was still staring at the lake with no emotion whatsoever showing on his pale face.  
  
"I just wanted to...", Harry started, hesitating. "Well, it's been a while since we've talked, so I thought-"  
  
"So what?" Malfoy cut him off, waspishly. "I barely even noticed."  
  
Harry had to admit that Malfoy's words hurt him. So Malfoy had barely noticed that they weren't talking or spending time together anymore. Harry was _nothing_ to Malfoy... They had hated each others for years and they still weren't exactly friends, but maybe he had been hoping for them to become something close to that.  
  
"Well, I did", he blurted out, finally gaining Malfoy's attention. "I have wanted to talk to you. It's just that Ginny's always with me and she..."  
  
"Hates me", Malfoy said icily. "Like almost everyone else in this school. Nothing new about that... I'm nothing but a Death Eater scum to everyone." Malfoy lowered his gaze to his feet.  
  
"What?" Harry asked, taken aback by Malfoy’s words. "Are they calling you...?"  
  
Malfoy laughed coldly. "All the time. Last time was barely half an hour ago", he said. "Like I said, it's nothing new. Also, it's the truth. You know that." Harry could see the melancholic look in Malfoy's eyes that he was clearly trying to hide with a laugh. Harry wasn't fooled.  
  
"Don't", he said swiftly. "That's not true."  
  
Malfoy sighed angrily, pulling up the sleeves of his left arm in frustration, showing it at Harry. Harry was staring at his arm for a good while. The Dark Mark had faded to a huge, ugly scar in Malfoy's inner forearm after Harry had defeated Voldemort, but it was still definitely there.  
  
"I will always be carrying it with me", the Slytherin said quietly. He pulled his sleeves down again. "Unless I go and cut my arm off."  
  
"And I'll always carry this one", Harry said quickly, stroking some of his messy hair off his forehead, revealing his own scar.  
  
"But you're _T_ _he_ _B_ _oy_ _W_ _ho_ _Li_ _ved_ ", Malfoy said with a snort. "The one who killed Voldemort. No one cares. It's different."  
  
Harry sighed, now staring to the lake. "Yes, it is different", he said. "And it might not matter anything to others... but it will always be there to remind me of the day my parents died and... I'll never get rid of it either." Malfoy was now looking at him, listening. "We all have our own scars and stories behind them... Visible or invisible", Harry continued. "But you are _not_ Death Eater scum, Malfoy. You never were, not really… You were forced to take that mark."  
  
Malfoy bowed his head down again. "I could have said no", he said, voice weak all of a sudden.  
  
"And get yourself and your family killed", Harry pointed out. "Come on, Malfoy. We've already talked about this weeks ago."  
  
Malfoy slowly lifted his gaze, their eyes meeting. "Why don't you hate me like others, Potter?" he asked. "You of all people should hate me after all I've done to you and your friends, and still..." His voice died.  
  
"Well… I'm not going to lie. You can be quite big-headed and very, very annoying at times, but I don't hate you… Because I know now that deep down you're not a bad person", Harry answered. Malfoy's teary eyes were now boring into his own and Harry felt himself drowning in them, once again. His eyes were like the color of gathering storm clouds in the sky with a silvery glint, full of restrained emotion…  
  
Harry forced himself to quickly break the eye contact and turn towards the lake again. He just had to. "And…" he hesitated. "I know it might take some time but I think I'd like to be able to call you a friend."  
  
Silence fell over. Harry couldn't see Malfoy's face but it was clear that the Slytherin was surprised by his words. He could still feel his eyes on him, but he couldn't look back at the moment. There was something in Malfoy's eyes that made him feel very uneasy.  
  
"You know what, Potter", Malfoy finally spoke. "You can be very annoying too... You have so many irritating habits. Like, you're often meddling with other people's business that has nothing to do with you. You are an adrenaline junkie who doesn't care about any rules. Not to mention that you've always been a hot-headed idiot – "  
  
"Umm... No offence, Malfoy, but you're not always the most serene person either", Harry quickly interrupted him, but Malfoy didn't pay any attention to it.  
  
"… Even so, I guess I'd like to be friends too", Malfoy continued. He paused for a while, turning his head towards the lake again. "It's not going to happen, though", he said, staring far to the distance.  
  
"Why?" Harry asked.  
  
" _Why?_ You said it yourself already", Malfoy answered with a cold sneer. "Your girl hates me."  
  
Harry grimaced. Right. Ginny… She really did despise Malfoy, she always had, from the very beginning. In Ginny's first year at Hogwarts, Malfoy's father Lucius had almost caused her death with Tom Riddle's diary, and then, during the war, Ginny's hatred towards the Malfoys had risen to its peak. She kind of accused Malfoy's for Fred's death, too.  
  
"I'll talk to her", Harry said. "It's not like _she's_ the one who needs to spend time with you."  
  
"Thank goodness", Malfoy sneered. "I don't know if this comes as a great surprise to you but I can't stand her either."  
  
Harry let out a short laugh.  
  
"She's not so bad when you get to know her better, you know", he said.  
  
Malfoy gave him a meaningful look. "Trust me, Potter. I've got no interest in getting to know her any better", he said.  
  
Harry grinned. "Well, at least there's an upside in that... I don't probably need to worry that you'd try to steal her from me."  
  
Malfoy snorted. "Good grief, Potter! Never in a million years", he said. It made Harry laugh and he could see Malfoy's lips curve into a smile too.  
  
Having finished laughing, Harry became serious again. "Umm… Malfoy", he said, gaining the other man's attention immediately.  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Don't pay any attention about what others say about you. Just ignore them. They don't know the real you."  
  
He turned to face the Slytherin, flashing a smile at him, and saw a very tiny smile appear on Malfoy's lips too. Once again they were staring deep into each others eyes and Harry felt a sudden urge to embrace the other man. He wanted to caress him, just hold him close, feel his warmth against him... but he also knew that Malfoy would push him away right away, so he didn't even try anything like that. He forced himself to lower his gaze.  
  
"We should probably be heading inside", he said, nervously stroking his hair at the same time. "We don't want to miss the dinner, right?"  
  
"Right", Malfoy answered. They started walking towards the castle side by side.  
  
\---  
  
"Ginny, I need to talk to you about something."  
  
It was late Wednesday evening and Harry was studying in the Gryffindor's common room with his girlfriend again. Ginny, who was currently studying the most dangerous magical plants, lowered her Herbology book, glancing at him.  
  
"Okay…", she said. "About what?"  
  
Harry tried to find the right words to use but he soon came to a conclusion that however he would put it, it wouldn't make Ginny take it any better. It was pointless to try and stall.  
  
"About Malfoy", he said. Ginny gave him a piercing look.  
  
"Why do you want to talk about _him?!_ " she pouted right away. Simply hearing Malfoy's name was clearly enough to make her angry.  
  
Harry cleared his throat. "Umm, it's just that... Many students here are treating him very, very badly."  
  
Ginny raised her eyebrow. "So?" she asked nonchalantly. Harry frowned.  
  
"Well, they're calling him names and – "  
  
"And he deserves it", Ginny cut him off. Her voice was now cold as ice. "Who cares? He deserves everything he gets!"  
  
Harry was now glaring at his girlfriend. "You really think so?" he asked. "You really think someone deserves to be treated like that?" His voice was getting colder too.  
  
"Yes", Ginny sneered. "I honestly don't give a damn about how people treat him. He's done too many horrible things in past to make me care one bit!"  
  
"I know he's done a lot of stuff, Ginny... If anyone knows, I do", Harry said, feeling terribly frustrated. "But there's more to it than meets the eye. His childhood was not normal, imagine being born into a family like his. With Lucius Malfoy as a father, he was never able to –"  
  
"Why are you defending him?!" Ginny asked icily.  
  
Ginny repeatedly cutting him off and her cold attitude towards Malfoy were starting to make Harry angry. Why couldn't she just listen to what Harry had to say?  
  
"I know he's done horrible things, okay!" he said. "He tried his best to make my life hell for years! But he was a child then. Just a child who was raised by his parents to hate muggles, raised to be a bully... and as for the Death Eater thing, he was _forced_ to take the mark after his father was sent to Azkaban. Voldemort was going to kill his family if he didn't agree to kill Dumbledore. He had _no choice_ , Ginny. He didn't want to do it! He was scared and he just wanted to save his parents, like any child would." He was quiet for a while before he added one more thing. "I'm not holding any grudge towards Malfoy anymore because I know better now, and I really wish you wouldn't either."  
  
Ginny was simply glaring at him, looking very pissed. "I can't believe it... He's really brainwashed you, hasn't he?" she said, shaking her head. "He's nothing but a foul, devious SNAKE and you just suddenly believe everything he says to you, just like that?!"  
  
Now Harry was really starting to flare up. Ginny was being so narrow-mind and cruel at the moment that it was making him feel sick.  
  
"Listen, Ginny", he started again. He was still trying his best to keep his voice calm, only it was starting to get really difficult now. "He is not like he used to be. He's changed. You think you know him but you really know nothing about him."  
  
Ginny tossed her book angrily at the floor, getting up. Harry, still sitting in his chair, first gazed at the book thrown at the floor and then turned to look at his girlfriend.  
  
"And _you_ do?! I can't believe you're taking his side!" Ginny hissed.  
  
Harry was astounded. "What?! I'm not taking anyone's side here", he said. "You are just overreacting again! I'm just trying to make you understand that it's not so – "  
  
"He almost killed Katie, Harry!" Ginny snapped. "He almost killed Ron as well! The poisoned mead, remember that one?! If you hadn't been there, your best friend would be DEAD, and all because of _HIM!_ "  
  
" _I do remember!_ I remember all of that and I _saw_ him when he was trying to kill Dumbledore too. _I was there!_ " Harry snapped back. "But like I told you, he didn't have a choice! He didn't want to hurt anyone else. He's sorry about – "  
  
"Oh, right! I forgot! He's only a poor, misunderstood boy", Ginny mocked.  
  
"He IS misunderstood!" Harry snapped. "He is sorry for everything! He's still having nightmares about the war, about everything he's done. He's – "  
  
"A filthy liar! That's what he is!"  
  
"STOP INTERRUPTING ME!" Harry yelled, finally jumping up too. He struck his fist against the table with force, face red. He had really blown up this time. He was so glad they were alone in the common room.  
  
Ginny was glaring at him with her brown eyes flaring. "Just look at yourself! What is _the matter_ with you?!" she hissed at him, grabbing her book from the floor. She turned around, quickly heading towards the Gryffindor girl's dormitory. "My boyfriend's a nutcase!" she snapped before disappearing to the stairs.  
  
\---  
  
Harry pushed himself through the portrait to the dim common room, angrily pulled his invisibility cloak off and slammed his schoolbag to the floor with a loud smash. He was still steaming with anger because of Ginny.  
  
"Hey! What do you think you are doing?!" he heard a very familiar voice inquiring loudly from one the couches.  
  
Harry turned his head towards the voice and saw Malfoy who was trying to sit up, having obviously been lying there on Harry's favourite couch before Harry had stormed in. He was already wearing his black night pyjamas. There didn't seem to be anyone else lingering in the common room anymore.  
  
"I... I don't know", Harry grunted, feeling disoriented.  
  
He was not able to look at Malfoy who was now watching him with his eyebrows furrowed. Instead Harry stared at the window across the room, seeing his own reflection in it. His mind was totally messed up… Once again he had been arguing with Ginny… and this time he had been acting very aggressively as well. He had actually managed to scare himself, to be honest. He buried his face in his hands. What was happening to him?  
  
"Potter?" he heard the Slytherin's voice again. This time, instead of fretful, his voice was different and calming. Harry lowered his hands, finally facing the other man's stare. Malfoy was beckoning for him to join him on the couch. "Come here."  
  
Hesitating, Harry walked to the couch, slumping down next to the other man. Neither of them said a word for a while. Harry was watching the flames dancing in the fireplace in front of them.  
  
"Wanna talk about it?" Malfoy finally asked.  
  
Harry let out a heavy sigh. "I… tried to make Ginny understand… I thought she would at least _try_ ", he started. "… but she wouldn't even listen to me, and I…" His voice died.  
  
"You what?" Malfoy asked slowly.  
  
Harry sighed again. He took off his glasses and rubbed his forehead and eyes with his hands. He could feel the other man's eyes boring into him.  
  
"I was so angry that I…"  
  
"Potter, don't tell me you… You didn't _hit_ her, right?" Malfoy asked in a tense tone.  
  
"What? No, of course not!" Harry answered quickly. "But I did smash the table and… uh… Ginny left and said I'm a… nutcase."  
  
He sighed again, glancing at the other man sitting next to him. Even though Malfoy was right beside him, his sight was still quite blurry so he put his glasses back on to see better. He could see a tiny smile on Malfoy's lips and got a little irritated about it. Damn Slytherin! Was he enjoying Harry's distress?  
  
"Well, I've said it before... You really are a hothead, nothing new about that", Malfoy said teasingly. "I've experienced it myself many times already. Remember how you attacked me at the Quidditch Pitch?"  
  
Harry gave Malfoy an irritated look. He could still remember that day very clearly. It had been their fifth year when Malfoy had disparaged both Molly and Harry's mom after Slytherin had lost to Gryffindor, and something in Harry's head had snapped completely and then he had attacked Malfoy and beaten him up with George. In the end Malfoy had been all bloody and Harry and the twins had been banned from the Quidditch team for the rest of the school year.  
  
"Yeah... but you deserved it that time, Malfoy", he pointed out. "Talking about our moms like that... You were an asshole."  
  
Malfoy's smile had faded away. "I know", he said, not looking at him anymore. "It was… wrong. I was trying my best to piss you off intentionally. As always." They were both quiet until the Slytherin spoke again. "Sorry about that", he apologized to Harry's surprise, looking very uneasy. "I shouldn't have said those things."  
  
Harry stared at the Slytherin who was still avoiding looking him in the eyes. It was still so weird to hear Malfoy say sorry about _anything_. Malfoy was not the kind of person to apologize for anything at all. He had always been a cunning, unrepentant boy.  
  
"I'm sorry too… for attacking you", Harry said back. "Not to mention that one time in that bathroom when I very nearly killed you. I didn't know what the spell did… If I had known…"  
  
"I know. It's alright", Malfoy said. "I tried to hex you first that day. Let bygones be bygones." He was still not looking at Harry. Instead his grey eyes were fixed on the flames of the fireplace.  
  
They both remained quiet for a while, simply staring at the flames, until Harry finally spoke.  
  
"No wonder if Ginny's had enough of me for good...", he mumbled. "I even scared myself today."  
  
Malfoy finally turned to look at him. "You think she's going to break up with you?"  
  
Harry shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know", he sighed, taking a more comfortable posture on the couch, leaning his head back. "But I wouldn't be even surprised if she did."  
  
Malfoy seemed to hesitate, his eyes resting on Harry now. "If she wanted to break up with you... what would you think about that?" he finally asked.  
  
Malfoy's question made Harry feel pensive. He was now staring at the ceiling, thinking. If Ginny _really_ wanted to break up, what _would_ he think about it? He didn't know. All these arguments with her, all those opposite opinions about different things, all that yelling… He cared about Ginny, he really did, but was it enough? Would it ever get any better with her?  
  
"I don't… know", he found himself answering after pondering it for a while. He really had no clue.  
  
"You don't know?" Malfoy repeated. "You don't know how it would make you feel?"  
  
Harry shook his head. "I do care about her, that's for sure", he said. "I really do. But all this fighting and other stuff… I… I don't know. I don't know _anything_ anymore. My head is nothing but a big mess."  
  
A tiny, sad smile appeared on Malfoy's lips. "Welcome to the club", he muttered, turning towards the flames again.  
  
They were sitting in silence for a good while, both deep in their own thoughts, just staring at the fireplace until the silence was interrupted. There was a sudden sound in the back of the room and they both quickly turned to look behind them.  
  
Theodore was standing at the door leading to the bedroom corridor.  
  
"You're still here?" he asked, addressing Malfoy.  
  
"What does it look like", Malfoy answered.  
  
Theodore had a wistful look on his face. "I just woke up and I was wondering where you were…", he said quietly.  
  
Malfoy turned his back on Theodore again. "Well, now you know. No need for you to worry."  
  
Harry was still eyeing Theodore. If he hadn't already been aware of the other man's feelings towards Malfoy, it was crystal clear by now. He could see it from all the emotions going through Theodore’s face. There was sorrow, yearning, bitterness… Everything was written on his pale face. The saddest thing of all was that Malfoy didn't seem to care at all. Harry felt pity for Theodore.  
  
"You really need more sleep, Draco", Theodore said quietly before turning around again. He gave another quick glance towards them before disappearing back to the corridor again.  
  
Harry immediately turned his attention towards Malfoy who was back to staring at the flames again. "Why are you being an arse to him again?" he asked.  
  
"Because it's for his own good", Malfoy answered.  
  
"He clearly cares about you, Malfoy", Harry pointed out.  
  
Malfoy gave a heavy sigh. "That's exactly the reason why."  
  
Harry didn't know what to think. "You treat him badly because he cares about you…? That doesn't make any sense to me."  
  
"How fucking thick are you, Potter?" Malfoy snarled, making Harry frown. The old Malfoy was back in business, just like that. "I don't _want_ him to care about me! I want him to move on! It's… not good for him…"  
  
There were lots of questions running through Harry's mind. Why did Malfoy have to be a dick? Was it really true that he wasn't gay or did Malfoy actually have feelings for Theodore and he was just afraid of admitting it?  
  
"You're not making it any easier for him if you treat him like shit", Harry said. "You're only making it worse."  
  
"What am I supposed to do then? What do you suggest?!" Malfoy grunted. "Because I don't know what the fuck am I supposed to do anymore!"  
  
"Uh... I don't know... It depends. You're not even willing to give him a chance?" Harry found himself asking before he even realized what he was saying.  
  
Malfoy had turned to face him, face totally unreadable, and a weird feeling overwhelmed Harry. He already regretted his question. Why had he said that? He did NOT want Malfoy to give Theodore a chance.  
  
"So you think I should give him a chance?" Malfoy asked after a short, awkward silence between them. He sounded tense.  
  
"I… I didn't say so", Harry mumbled. "It's _your_ life…"  
  
Malfoy didn't look at him anymore. He was suddenly getting up, avoiding any chance for eye contact. "Theo's right. I need sleep", he said.  
  
"Okay…", Harry said, feeling very confused. "Good night."  
  
"Night."  
  
Harry turned to look when the Slytherin headed towards the bedrooms and soon disappeared from his sight without a single glance backwards. Harry was left alone in the common room, his thoughts wandering between Ginny and Malfoy.  
  
Would he be able to sort things out with Ginny this time? Was it even worth it anymore? To tell the truth, he didn't know if their relationship was going to work after all that had happened. Before the war it had all been so different with Ginny: lots of laughing together, lots of snuggling and kissing… It had felt so right. Whereas now… he wasn't so sure anymore. He wasn't sure _at all._ Ginny's attitude towards Malfoy was also making Harry doubt everything. He had thought of Ginny as a warm, righteous person but today Ginny had shown him that she could be very cruel as well. Talking about Malfoy that way, when Harry knew better…  
  
His thoughts left Ginny and travelled back to Malfoy again. Why the hell had he suggested Malfoy to give Theodore a chance, when in fact he wanted nothing less?  
  
He could picture it in his mind. Malfoy walking along the lakefront with Theodore, hand in hand… Malfoy looking at Theodore, a blissful smile on his perfect, pink lips, his beautiful eyes glimmering in the sunset… Malfoy kissing with Theodore under the same tree where he had been sitting with Harry weeks ago…  
  
Harry felt a knot in his stomach. No. He didn't want it to happen. Just thinking about it made him feel sick. Theodore was not right for Malfoy.  
  
That silky looking platinum hair, skin as pale as the moon, his skinny body, those perfect lips waiting to be kissed…  
  
They were not meant for Theodore.  
They were meant for… him.  
  
 _Oh god._ Harry buried his face in his hands. How had this happened? He had no clue how and when it had happened, but it was clear as a day. He had fallen for Draco Malfoy.


	6. Chapter 6

After his realization Harry had a hard time trying to sleep that night. All he could think about was Malfoy and how he had fallen for the guy. The whole thing was so crazy! He had never thought about any other guy _that_ way. No, he had always liked girls, dated girls and still… he had fallen for a guy. A guy who had made his life a living hell for years… When had this happened?

He thought about that one early October night when they had talked properly for the first time in their lives, Malfoy opening up to him all of a sudden… But no, he had been dreaming about Malfoy even before that. That night when he had helped Malfoy gather all his stuff from the corridor. He remembered how they had looked deep into each other's eyes for the very first time. Of course they had looked at each other before that, they had looked at each other for years, but it had never been so intense like that time. It had been the first time that Harry had noticed the exact colour and beauty of Malfoy's eyes… and the first time he had dreamt about him.  
  
Harry also remembered the feeling he had felt when he'd thought that Malfoy was sleeping with Theodore. Ron's words had caused him a total loss of appetite that time, he had wanted to vomit, he had felt like he was being strangled… He had been hurt, he had been jealous, but he had not been ready to admit it to himself that day.  
  
And what about later that same night, at Hog's Head? Harry had been pretty drunk that night, but he could still remember the thoughts that had been running through his mind the whole time. He had loved the woody, spicy cologne of the blond, with a hint of vanilla… Harry had wanted to smell the man better, he had wanted to kiss him, to press him against the wall… He had blamed it all on his drunken state but it had not been just because of all the drinking. No, he had _really_ wanted to do those things. The alcohol in his blood had only made it worse, but it had not been the only reason for it.  
  
Harry could still clearly remember his dream from that same night too. The dream where he had been laying naked in bed with Malfoy, kissing him, holding him in his arms… screwing him… Oh lord.  
  
Just thinking about that dream now, in the middle of the night in silence… it was making him aroused right away. Blimey, he just couldn't resist…  
  
Without any hesitation he had already moved his hand to his pyjamas. He quickly pulled them down, soon followed by his underpants, freeing and grabbing his already hard member, trying to focus on his dream again.  
  
 _Malfoy's head thrown backwards, Harry's mouth sucking_ _on_ _the Slytherin's beautiful, pale neck… Malfoy's fingernails sinking deep into Harry's flesh, Malfoy's cock bouncing between their bodies, Harry thrusting hard inside him, the hot tightness surrounding him… Malfoy screaming of pleasure as they were both getting closer and closer… Malfoy's eyes opening up slightly and looking straight to his own… Those eyes… Oh god, those eyes… He was going to –_  
  
Harry's body was shaking madly as he came all over his belly. He bit his lip – so hard that it started to bleed – to not cry out of pleasure. He did not want Ron to wake up to the sounds of his orgasm, since he hadn't even used any silencing charm.  
  
He waited for his breath to become steady again, just lying there for a long time. Finally, since he nowadays was already quite good at wandless magic, he started whispering the cleaning charm. Soon his body was fully clean of his cum.  
  
He could still feel cold shivers running through his body, however. Shit, this was so crazy… He didn't know what to think anymore. He had just masturbated and, instead of thinking about Ginny, the girl who he was still in a relationship with, he had been thinking about having wild sex with his former rival. And still, he had a smile on his face…  
  
Letting out a sigh Harry closed his eyes again. There weren't many hours left before they'd already need to get up, it was already 4 am, so he really had to try to get any sleep he could…  
  
\---  
  
The next day was not easy for Harry. He was tired, he was embarrassed, he was confused… In short, his head felt like exploding because of everything and he still had to try and concentrate on studying.  
  
Ginny had been giving him angry glares ever since breakfast time and Harry had no clue what to do. Even if he couldn't always see her angry looks, he could feel them. He didn't know if Ginny wanted him to apologize or if she wanted to be left alone, and to tell the truth, Harry wasn't sure if he even wanted to apologize to her. His thoughts were mainly on someone else.  
  
Now, having realized his true feelings, Harry's eyes kept following Malfoy almost everywhere.  
  
His eyes followed Malfoy at breakfast, noticing that the man didn't eat anything else but an apple. He also didn't seem to be on a mood to chat with his friends at all in the morning.  
  
His eyes followed Malfoy at their shared Potions class where they were brewing the antidote to a garish pink blended poison. Malfoy's long, thin fingers were rigorously peeling and cutting all the needed ingredients and his face was perfectly focused, and Harry found himself admiring the Slytherin's skills and tranquility. As for Harry himself, his focus being directed to totally wrong thing, he managed to completely ruin his own antidote. Professor Slughorn gave him a slightly disappointed look after the class was dismissed, but Harry left it unnoticed. His eyes were – once again – on Malfoy, who was already departing with Theodore by his side.  
  
Harry also secretly observed Malfoy at lunch, being glad to see that this time the other man ate a little better. He also seemed to have a good conversation with his friends and was even wearing a tiny smile on his lips. However, Harry was suddenly woken from his thoughts when he realized that he had been caught staring.  
  
Theodore, who was once again sitting next to Malfoy, was looking straight at Harry, a strict look on his face and Harry, whose brain didn't seem to be fully working at the moment, found himself staring absentmindedly back to Theodore's dark eyes for a good long while before he realized what was happening. Shit! He startled, breaking the eyecontact as fast as he could. He turned his attention towards his lunch instead, feeling a lump in his throat.  
  
As if that weren’t not enough already, Theodore was not the only one whose eyes were directed at Harry. After lifting his gaze, his green eyes immediately locked with Hermione's brown ones. Startling again, Harry quickly broke the eye contact with her too, trying to continue his eating. He was silently cursing in his mind. Damn it, this would have to stop. He would really have to stop staring at Malfoy this much.  
  
\---  
  
There was a knock on the door.  
  
"Harry, we need to talk."  
  
Harry, who had been resting on his own bed, deep in his thoughts, quickly opened his eyes after hearing Hermione's voice.  
  
"Uh… okay, come on in", he answered, feeling a bit nervous. What could it be that Hermione wanted to talk to him about, alone?  
  
The door opened slowly and Hermione walked inside, closing the door after herself. She then immediately turned her eyes towards Harry, who was now sitting on his bed.  
  
"May I…?" Hermione asked, pointing towards his bed. After Harry's quick nod, she sat next to him. There was a short, awkward silence between them.  
  
"I… talked with Ginny", Hermione finally said. "She told me what happened last night."  
  
Harry was not surprised. In fact it would had been a miracle if Ginny hadn't told anyone at all. He was pretty sure that Hermione wasn't the only one who knew about their argument.  
  
"Okay", was all he managed to say.  
  
Hermione was looking at him with a very serious look on her face. "Harry, I…", she started, hesitating. She was clearly trying to find the right words to say and it seemed to be very difficult for her. "I'm worried about you."  
  
Harry lifted his gaze, meeting Hermione's eyes.  
"Why?" he asked. "There's no reason to be… I've been just… tired… and –"  
  
"Don't", Hermione said right away, confusing Harry. " _Please,_ stop. I did not come here to listen lies."  
  
Harry gulped. "I'm not lying", he objected, but seeing the look on Hermione's face he knew she didn't believe him.  
  
"You're not fooling me", she said with a sigh. "I don't know if you've noticed but I've been keeping an eye on you and… even if I hadn't… uh… What I mean is, it's pretty clear to me… Especially after I talked with Ginny today…"  
  
Harry raised his eyebrow. "I don't know what the heck you're talking about", he said.  
  
Hermione, however, didn't even bother listening to him. "You're becoming obsessed with him again, Harry", she stated.  
  
Harry felt his cheeks starting to heat up a little. " _What?!_ " he managed to ask. Shit, shit, shit. Hermione knew…  
  
"You know very well who I'm talking about", Hermione said with another sigh. "It's happening again. Admit it. Just like in our 6th year."  
  
Harry didn't know what to say. He couldn't find the words to say anything at all. Hermione, having waited for him to say something for a while, continued.  
  
"There's just one thing that's worrying me", she mumbled. "What is the reason you are obsessed with him? With Voldemort gone, what is it _this time?_ "  
  
"I'm _not_ obsessed with Malfoy!" Harry finally hissed.  
  
Hermione was rolling her eyes. "Yeah, right. You've been staring at him a lot… I see the way you look at him", she pointed out. "If you're not obsessed, then tell me the reason for that."  
  
Harry had no idea what to answer. There was _no way_ he could tell Hermione about his crazy crush on Malfoy. She would not understand. Harry knew that Hermione had nothing against gay relationships, she had made it very clear earlier, but Harry was still in a relationship with Ginny, so… no. He couldn't tell her. He would have to come up with something else.  
  
"I'm not obsessed", he repeated. "I'm just worried."  
  
Silence fell over. Hermione was still eyeing him, now raising her eyebrow. "You're… _worried?_ " she asked slowly.  
  
Harry nodded. "We've become closer than before and he has told me things I didn't know. Like you already know, he can't sleep well. He's still having nightmares about the war. Also, people here are treating him like shit because he joined the Death Eaters. They are calling him names and…" He paused. "So… yes. I am a little worried about him. Also, he doesn't have many real friends to talk to, so I've even offered him my friendship." Another short pause. "I'm not obsessed with him. I'm just being friendly."  
  
Hermione was quiet for a while, just thinking about what Harry had said. "Are you really telling me the truth now?" she finally ensured and Harry gave a quick nod. "Well, if that really is the case, I must say I'm… relieved", she continued slowly.  
  
"What do you mean?" Harry asked.  
  
"Well...", Hermione started, letting out a little, nervous laugh. "Please don't get mad at me, Harry." Harry shook his head and Hermione continued: "I was almost sure that you're like… in love with him or something."  
  
Harry pretended to be shocked when in reality he was embarrassed. Hermione was on the right track but he could _not_ tell her the truth… "You _what_?" he gasped, covering his mouth with his hand.  
  
"I really thought you've got some feelings towards him", Hermione admitted, looking embarrassed now. "I know how stupid it must sound to you… I do know you're with Ginny and you're not gay, so… I'm sorry."  
  
"It's okay", Harry said quietly, feeling very quilty. He felt a big lump in his throat again. "I'm not angry."  
  
"Good", Hermione said, sounding relieved. She was quiet for a while before she said: "So, you're worried about Malfoy…?"  
  
"Kind of, yeah", Harry said. "I don't feel any grudge towards him anymore and… I guess I'd really… want us to be friends." He felt bad for lying to Hermione, but he had to lie. Hermione wouldn't understand… Not when he was still with Ginny…  
  
Hermione seemed to be deep in her thoughts. "I'm thinking… Maybe we could… you know, do something together? I mean like… go somewhere together sometime? The four of us…"  
  
Harry's mouth dropped. Had he heard right? "The _four_ of us?" he repeated uncertainly.  
  
Hermione nodded. "You, me, Ron, him", she said. "You said he doesn't have many friends and…"  
  
"Uh…", Harry was perplexed. "I thought you guys hate him."  
  
Hermione was shaking her head. "I don't _hate_ him… Not anymore", she said. "He really has been horrible towards us but I can see that he's changed too… Besides, if _you_ of all people have been able to forgive him, I think we all should act like adults and do that too."  
  
Harry couldn't believe it. Hermione really was ready to try act friendly with Draco Malfoy. "Ginny's not as compassionate as you are", he noted, grimacing.  
  
"I know… and I kind of understand that. You forgot all your plans with her without a word because you were with him", Hermione said, giving him a meaningful look. "You know how that makes us girls feel."  
  
Harry nodded slowly. "Yeah, it was wrong…" He sighed, silence falling over them. They were just sitting there, both in their thoughts, until Hermione spoke again.  
  
"So… we could go somewhere together", she started again. "Maybe… have some butterbeers at Hogsmeade or something."  
  
Harry gave Hermione a hesitant smile. "I guess I could ask him about it", he said. "I'm not sure if he wants to, but…"  
  
Hermione nodded. "You do that. And I'll talk to Ron", she said, followed by a short laugh. "He won't be happy about it but I'll try my best." She paused before she still continued: "And you should also talk to Ginny, you know… Try to sort things out with her, right?"  
  
Harry grinned, feeling uneasy. "Yeah, I guess I should."  
  
\---  
  
The next day after classes Harry was heading to the library to return back some books when he ran into Ginny, who was just leaving the library with one of her friends. She gave him a sullen glare and was about to pass him, but Harry grabbed her arm, stopping her.  
  
"Ginny, I need to talk to you."  
  
Ginny turned to look at him. "I'm busy now, Harry", she said.  
  
"Really? On a Friday evening?" Harry asked doubtfully.  
  
Ginny nodded. "Yes. We've got Quidditch practise", she said, sounding irritated. "In case you have forgotten, we've got a game to play tomorrow."  
  
"Oh, right", Harry muttered. He had already forgotten all about the match. He had been preoccupied with everything else. "I guess we'll talk later, then."  
  
Ginny didn't even bother answering to him. She resumed her path with her friend without another word, leaving the library.  
  
Harry sighed. How was he supposed to sort things out with Ginny when Ginny didn't even seem to want to talk? Okay, she did have Quidditch practise today but it wouldn't take the whole evening... All Ginny did was glare at him or completely ignore him and Harry was getting tired of it. Besides, the more he kept thinking about how the things really were between the two of them, the more he was starting to doubt their whole relationship again… Was this relationship working anymore – and had it ever really worked?  
  
Deep in his thoughts he walked through the door, entering the library. He quickly went to return the books he had borrowed earlier and was already about to leave again, when he took another glance backwards and…  
  
In the back of the library he saw a glimpse of platinum blond hair. Harry's steps slowed down immediately and soon he found himself turning around, heading to that direction. He was sure that it was Malfoy. And yes, he was right. The Slytherin was standing there in between the two bookshelves, back towards him, facing the window. Harry noticed that he had a book on his hand but he was not looking at it at the moment. Instead he was clearly staring out of the window, though Harry couldn't see his face.  
  
"Malfoy, hi", Harry said, now standing behind the other man, causing Malfoy to jump a bit and quickly turn to look at him.  
  
"For goodness sake, Potter, would you mind not to scare me like that", Malfoy hissed, swiping his blond hair from his forehead where it had fallen. He turned towards the bookshelf, sideways to Harry, not looking at him.  
  
"Sorry", Harry said quietly. He found himself admiring Malfoy's tall, slender figure which was covered by all black clothes, emphasizing it even more. Oh, how much Harry wished to be able to press that lithe body against his own, to hold him close, look him deep in the eyes… but it was not possible. Malfoy was not gay, he didn't like Harry that way and Harry was with Ginny. Nothing like that would ever happen between him and Malfoy. But it was still possible to at least spend some time with him as friends, right? He'd only need to ask…  
  
"Malfoy, I was wondering", he blurted out. "It's Friday…"  
  
The Slytherin turned his head to look at him. "No shit", he sneered, returning to the books in the shelf again.  
  
"Wannagosomewhere?" Harry found himself asking so quickly it got out in a jumble of words.  
  
Malfoy wrinkled his eyebrows, glancing at him. "Come again?" he asked.  
  
"Well, I'm free tonight and I was just thinking… Would you like to go somewhere tonight… with me?" Harry said, this time more clearly.  
  
 _"Oh…"_ Malfoy was staring at him for a while, mouth slightly open, their eyes meeting. Then he turned towards the books again, pushing the book he had been holding back to the shelf. "I… can't tonight", he finally said with a very weird look on his pale face. He was avoiding looking at Harry again.  
  
"Oh… okay", Harry said, disappointed. "I understand."  
  
Malfoy was still avoiding eye contact, just staring at the books. "I… promised to go with Theo already", he admitted quietly.  
  
Harry immediately felt a twinge of jealousy. This time he recognized it for what it was. Instead of him, Malfoy was going out with Theodore tonight. The man who they both knew was crazy for him… Harry did not like that. He didn't like that at all.  
  
"Oh…", was all he managed to say. His throat felt strangled. "Okay."  
  
"Yeah", Malfoy said quietly, nervously stroking his hands through his blond hair. "He asked me earlier today, so…" He paused. "Sorry…"  
  
"No, don't be. It's… it's alright", Harry found himself babbling. "It's ok really. Yeah… Some other time then… I guess."  
  
He quickly turned around, making his way towards the exit, glancing backwards once. To his surpise he saw Malfoy looking back at him with a slightly wistful look on his pale face before he left the library.  
  
\---  
  
Few hours later Harry and Ron were chilling together at the common room, first playing some chess and later just sitting and relaxing on the couch. Almost everyone else had already left for Hogsmeade tonight.

  
"Isn't it weird that there's a Quidditch match tomorrow and we're not playing", Ron sighed.  
  
"Yeah, kind of", Harry admitted.  
  
"Well, as long as they'll kick Ravenclaw's ass it's fine", Ron said with a grin.  
  
"They will. Ginny's worked really hard for the team", Harry commented.  
  
"Yeah", Ron said, staring at the fireplace. "Blimey, it will be fun to finally see their new Keeper in real action…"  
  
Harry, however, wasn't really listening anymore. He had heard a door open a few seconds ago in the back of the room and had already turned towards that direction. Oh sweet mother of…  
  
His eyes were resting on Malfoy who was now walking towards the portrait door together with Theodore. His platinum hair was gorgeously styled and he was wearing a long sleeved, dark green dress shirt and tight, black trousers and he was pulling his long, black, cloak-like winter coat on as he was walking. Harry couldn't keep his eyes off him. He was totally captivated by the blond's undeniable sexiness. He was pretty sure he could even smell the beautiful, familiar scent of Malfoy's cologne again… Merlin.  
  
Ron was still talking but Harry had no clue about what he was saying. Instead of Malfoy, his eyes were now on his companion. Theodore was looking great too, just like he always did. Like Hermione had said weeks ago, Theodore really was a very good looking guy. His dark brown, medium length hair was also well-set. Harry couldn't see what kind of clothes the man was wearing because he was already wearing a long cloak over them. Even so, Harry could still see that he had really put effort on his looks tonight too, just like Malfoy had. They looked perfect together.  
  
When they were walking pass the couch, he could see that Theodore's dark eyes were resting on the very stunning looking Malfoy, and Harry immediately felt a strong sense of possessiveness over the blond Slytherin.  
  
This was not how it was supposed to go. He had wanted to take Malfoy out today, spend the Friday night together with him, be the one to offer him a drink or two at the pub, chat and laugh his head off with him, walk back to the castle with him in the chilly November night… But no, Harry was here, just sitting on the couch with Ron, bored and doing nothing, and Theodore was the one to get to do all those things with Malfoy instead… and maybe even more than that.  
  
No. He did not want to think about it. But Malfoy was looking so irresistible, so tempting, so sexy… It was clear Theodore would be wanting to get into Malfoy's pants later tonight, he was already dreaming about it, Harry could see the lust in his dark eyes. Why had Malfoy even dressed up like that if he didn't want Theodore to care about him that way anymore?  
  
That's when it hit him and he felt a really nasty feeling in his stomach. Maybe Malfoy had put so much effort on his looks because they were not just going out, they were going on _a date..._ What if Malfoy had decided to give Theodore a chance, like Harry had so stupidly suggested?  
  
Harry watched as Malfoy walked through the portrait door first, disappearing from his sight without once looking at Harry. That was another thing that made Harry feel even more pissed. Malfoy really hadn't looked at him the whole time when they had walked through the common room, not even once! Theodore, however, who was now going through the portrait door right after Malfoy, did turn his head and glance at him. Harry managed to see a smug smile on the man's lips before the door closed behind them and he had to restrain himself from not jumping up and going right after them. He wanted to wipe that annoying, satisfied smile from Theodore's face, right now.  
  
\---  
  
The rest of Harry's Friday night was totally ruined. They spent the next three hours in the common room with Ron, later joined by Hermione, but Harry's thoughts were somewhere else. No matter how much he tried, he wasn't able to concentrate on anything.  
  
His thoughts always returned to Malfoy, to his gorgeously styled blond hair, the beautiful scent of his cologne and especially that sexy looking outfit on his lithe body. Just thinking about it gave him shivers. Oh Merlin, how much he wished to be the one spending the night with Malfoy. He wanted to hang out with him at the pub, get completely wasted together, snog that gorgeous man in the cold night and finally, at the end of the night, shag the hell out of him just like he had done in his dream… but no. Malfoy was with Theodore tonight, the man who had flashed Harry that obnoxius smile, sending a clear message to him: You've lost the game.  
  
Even after Ron and Hermione had already gone to sleep, Harry was still there in the common room, still lying on the same couch. He kept staring at the flames of the fireplace, deep in his thoughts. He could clearly picture Malfoy sitting at the pub, sipping his drink, looking at Theodore with his beautiful eyes, smiling… It made Harry's insides hurt.  
  
Everytime the portrait door turned around his eyes fixed on it, but he was always let down, time after time. He saw Pansy and Blaise, he saw Seamus and Dean, he saw Goyle… but no Malfoy and Theodore.  
  
Harry kept glancing at the clock on the wall. 10, 11, 12... and still no sign of the two. Harry knew that all the pubs at Hogsmeade were already closed, they usually closed at 11…  
  
When it was already 1 am and they still hadn't come back, Harry couldn't take it anymore. _Where the hell were they?!_ His Marauder's Map was in his and Ron's bedroom and he knew he could go and check from it if he wanted to, but… he couldn't make himself do it. He had a terrible feeling that he knew all too well what they might be doing right now, somewhere. He was feeling very, very sick right now.  
  
Harry stood up, strode to their dorm corridor and straight to the bathroom, vomiting. He was feeling so sick right now, sick of jealousy. He could imagine Malfoy in Theodore's arms, kissing him passionately... The thought was killing him.  
  
Finally, after taking his time vomiting and then brushing his teeth afterwards, Harry left the bathroom and was about to go to their bedroom when he heard a sudden, loud noise coming from the common room. The portrait door had opened and closed.  
  
Harry's heart jumped in his chest. Everyone else had already arrived, so it was very clear who were the ones finally coming back. Harry, who was already standing in front of his and Ron's door, got a sudden idea and quickly pulled his invisibility cloak from his pocket, starting to cover himself up. He was barely ready when the door leading to the corridor already opened up.  
  
Under the invisibility cloak he could see Theodore and... no, just Theodore alone. No Malfoy. Theodore left the door half open behind him and stormed through the corridor with quick steps, entering his and Malfoy's room and almost slamming the door closed after himself.  
  
Harry was holding his breath, standing still. Theodore had looked so angry. What was going on? What had happened? And where the hell was Malfoy?! He'd have to check from the map… Once again he was about to enter their own bedroom when he heard the portrait door open and close again.  
  
He was standing there for a good while, holding his breath again, just waiting… but no one was coming. He was listening carefully. He didn't hear any footsteps coming towards the door. To be precise, he couldn't hear anything, and he was starting to get worried. Before he even realized it, he was already at the half opened door, passing through it as quietly as he could.  
  
The fire in the fireplace had finally died a while ago and the common room was already dark, but not dark enough for Harry to not see the pale, blond man sitting on the same couch that Harry had been resting on a while ago. Harry was now walking very slowly, quietly inching towards the couch, only stopping when he was facing the other man from few meters away. His heart skipped a beat when he realized what he was seeing.  
  
Malfoy, who was still wearing his long black coat was… crying. His body was shaking as tears were flowing out of his tightly closed eyes.  
  
Harry felt like his heart was being torn from his chest. He wanted to pull the invisibility cloak off right away and embrace the crying Slytherin immediately, to hold him in his arms, to tell him that everything was going to be alright… but he couldn't do it. He would probably only scare the hell out of Malfoy and he didn't want that to happen.  
  
Harry was shocked. He didn't understand. What the hell had happened? Malfoy shaking like that… Harry could feel anger rising inside him. _What the hell_ had Theodore _done_ to Malfoy?!  
  
Malfoy's eyes opened slightly, revealing the huge mental pain he was suffering at the moment when he was staring into the distance, hollow eyed. No words were needed. Those eyes… The man was _completely_ wrecked, he was torn apart. It was really breaking Harry's heart now and he couldn't stand it anymore…

Fuck it. To _hell_ with everything. He fiercely snatched the invisibility cloak off him, revealing himself.  
  
Just like he had foreseen, the Slytherin startled and gasped, staring straight at Harry, his grey eyes wide of shock. Nevertheless, the blond didn't say anything, instead he immediately buried his face to his hands, trying to hide his tears.  
  
Harry didn't waste any time. He had already reached the other man and taken a seat right next to his shaking body, and when he softly moved his hand to the Slytherins back he heard Malfoy let out a sob. That did it. Without hesitation Harry grabbed a hold of him, gently pulling the crying blond into his arms.  
  
To his surprise, he didn't get pushed away. No, instead of pushing Harry away Malfoy hang onto him, holding him tight, his fingers almost crushing Harry's back, and at the same time Malfoy's face was resting against his shoulder and Harry could feel shivers running through his body as he felt the warm breath against his skin. He moved his right hand to the blond hair, stroking it gently with his fingers. He loved the feeling of it in his hands. So light, so silky… just like he had imagined.  
  
Malfoy let out another sob and Harry simply kept stroking the blond's hair. "Shh… It's okay", he found himself whispering. "Please, don't cry… Everything's okay…"  
  
"Gosh… Shut the fuck up, Potter, and just hold me", he heard Malfoy's very drunken voice hiss against his shirt, making Harry smile. Still the very same old Draco Malfoy.  
  
"Fine. No talking then", Harry answered, tightening his grip around the Slytherin. Silence fell over.  
  
Harry could smell the lovely, spicy scent of Malfoy's cologne. Being so close to the other man for the first time, holding and smelling him was driving him crazy and he wanted to press his lips against that beautiful pale skin. He wanted to kiss him so damn much. He had _never_ wanted anything so much…  
  
No. He had to stop these kind of thoughts right away. He was supposed to comfort the man, not molest him. Malfoy was very drunk and Harry was sober, it wouldn't be the right thing to do. It would have to wait for another time. He would do his best to make Malfoy feel better now, he wanted to make him stop crying, and that would be all for tonight. He would just hold him like this, for as long as he needed to.  
  
And that's how they sat there for a very long time, just embracing each other, until Harry noticed that the very drunken Slytherin was starting to fall asleep against his shoulder. He carefully lied down, pulling Malfoy along with him on the couch. Malfoy seemed to be sleeping already. His face was now resting against Harry's chest and his arm was tightly wrapped around him. Harry was looking at the Slytherin's beautiful sleeping face and he could feel his heart melting. So beautiful…

He couldn't resist moving his free hand to his cheek, caressing it gently with his fingers.  
  
"Potter…"  
  
Harry trembled and his heart skipped a beat. Malfoy had whispered his name in his sleep. Harry's lips turned to a smile. He knew where they were, he knew they might get caught lying here in each others arms, but at the moment he couldn't care less. Everything he wanted was here in his arms.


	7. Chapter 7

It was already very early morning when Harry woke up. He opened his eyes very slowly, staring at the ceiling, completely stunned. Where was he? It was clear that he was not in his own bedroom so -  
  
His thoughts were cut of when he felt a hand fumbling at his hip. He winced at first, before he suddenly remembered. Oh... right. He lowered his gaze, seeing the blond Slytherin lying there, snuggled close to him.  
  
Harry smiled. Looking at the man made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside, not to mention all those butterflies in his stomach. Malfoy was still deep asleep, tightly holding onto Harry. Being like this, holding the beautiful Slytherin in his arms... it felt so right. He had never felt anything like this, not even with Ginny. No, this was different...  
  
Harry found himself admiring those long, black lashes of Malfoy's, that perky nose of his, those slightly parted and full, pink lips... Harry's heart was thumping madly in his chest.  
  
How could he have ever thought that Malfoy was an ugly, pointy-faced brat? How could he ever have hated this man so much? How could he have done such acts of violence against him, when all he wished to do right now was to kiss him... and not just in the lustful, passionate way. No, right now he wanted to touch those beautiful lips lightly with his own and feel their softness, to kiss him tenderly, to show the man how much he cared for him.  
  
Because yes, he really did care for this man. Just thinking about last night, Malfoy crying like that... It was breaking Harry's heart. He couldn't stand it. No one was allowed to make Malfoy suffer like that. After all that he had already been through in his life, the Slytherin didn't deserve to experience any more pain. He deserved to be happy. He deserved someone who made him feel special. Someone who'd do anything for him.  
  
Harry's smile was slowly fading away. He could never be the one. Malfoy was not gay, he liked girls, he had told Harry that. Last night Malfoy had been very drunk and so upset, completely wrecked, and he had relied on Harry simply because he had been there at the moment, that was all. Malfoy didn't care about him the same way Harry cared for him. Also, Malfoy already had one friend who was drooling over him, he would completely freak out if he found out that Harry – who he had only just learned to trust – felt the same way as Theodore did… And, even though Harry and Ginny had been fighting a lot lately, it was a fact that Harry was still in a relationship with her. Besides Harry had to admit to himself that he really sucked at being a boyfriend. He was far from the perfect man. Even if Malfoy _was_ gay, which he wasn't, he would never choose to be with Harry.  
  
Harry's throat felt like it was being strangled again. Looking at the gorgeous man in his arms and knowing that he'd never be able to hold him like this anymore was killing him. He'd have to continue as a friend, to pretend he didn't feel this way. He had learned to care so much for the man but he didn't want Malfoy to push him away like he had done with Theodore. No, that was not going to happen. He would be a friend for Malfoy, hang out with him as a friend, offer him a shoulder to lean on if he needed one… that's all. That way he wouldn't ruin everything.  
  
Involuntarily Harry carefully released himself from Malfoy's grip and pulled his own arm from below him, slowly getting up from the couch. Harry's eyes were still resting on the sleeping Slytherin lying on his side. Malfoy was so beautiful… but never to be his. With a sad smile on his lips Harry turned around, heading to his and Ron's room.  
  
\---  
  
The next time Harry woke up, it was 9am.  
  
"Harry, Ron, wake up! You'll be late from breakfast!" he heard Hermione calling out from the door.  
  
Harry's eyes flew open. He glanced to his side, seeing Ron slowly getting up and groaning tiredly in his own bed  
  
Hermione was now knocking at their door in frustration.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, we heard you!" Ron shouted at his girlfriend.  
  
They didn't have any time to shower so they just changed into their daytime clothes and quickly headed towards the Great Hall. When passing through their common room, Harry noticed that Malfoy wasn't there anymore. He must have gone downstairs to have some breakfast already, he thought.  
  
However, when they had taken seats at the Great Hall and digged in, Harry's gaze wandered to the Slytherin table and… Malfoy wasn't there. Harry saw Pansy, Blaise, even very pissed looking Theodore… but no Malfoy. He wasn't the only one who wasn’t there, though. Goyle was also missing.  
  
Harry spent quite a long time at breakfast table with his friends, listening to Hermione and Ron debating about their Hogsmeade plans for the evening, but not taking any part in it. No, his thoughts were on different matters. From time to time his gaze kept wandering back to the Slytherin table, always finding Malfoy and Goyle missing. He couldn't help feeling worried. Why wasn't Malfoy coming to breakfast at all? He had been pretty drunk last night… but he _never_ skipped the breakfast, even if he barely ate. There was something wrong.  
  
Explaining to his friends that he needed to go check something, Harry finally left the Great Hall, heading back to their dorms.  
  
The common room was still empty but he could hear some clattering and talking coming from the bedroom corridor. Raising his eyebrow, Harry opened the door, entering the corridor. His eyes widened a little at the sight.  
  
Goyle was standing at Theodore and Malfoy's open door, holding his wand high in the air. Harry saw pieces of furniture floating in the air in front of him.  
  
"What the… What's happening?" he managed to ask.  
  
"I'm switching rooms with Draco", Goyle answered nonchalantly.  
  
Harry was surprised. Goyle, who was the only one with a much smaller single room, was switching rooms with Malfoy? Okay… He walked closer to Goyle's door, trying his best to avoid all the flying objects, taking a peek. The room was still missing some stuff.  
  
"Give way, Potter!" he suddenly heard Malfoy's frustrated shout from behind him. He jumped, quickly shifting out of the way. The blond Slytherin also had his wand up, his wardrobe flying in front of him towards the room.  
  
"So, you're switching rooms", Harry stated.  
  
"Yeah", Malfoy answered tonelessly, steering his heavy wardrobe pass the open door to his new room.  
  
"Why?" Harry found himself asking.  
  
Malfoy let his wardrobe land against the wall next to the door, turning around smoothly, wawing at his wand again. Harry admired his flexible movements. Goyle was already sending more furnishings towards them.  
  
"Let's just say that...", Malfoy started, now sounding quite tense. He began steering the new furnishings to right places. "...things have _escalated_ , so…"  
  
Harry didn't ask any more questions. Without asking, he pulled his own wand from his pocket, starting to help the two Slytherins.  
  
They swiftly furnished Malfoy's new room, next starting to organize the now Goyle and Theodore's room. They were almost done when they were interrupted by a single cough.  
  
Harry, Malfoy and Goyle all immediately turned towards the door.  
  
"What the _hell_ do you think you are _doing?!"_ Theodore asked. His eyes were circling around the room and he clearly didn't like what he saw.  
  
"Moving. From this day forward _I'll_ be your new roommate", Goyle answered.  
  
Theodore's eyes first travelled to Goyle and then to Malfoy. "Is that so", he said. There was no warmth in his eyes.  
  
"It's better this way", Malfoy said, breaking the eye contact.  
  
"Fine. You know what, Draco? Do whatever you want", Theodore grunted. "I don't give a shit." He left the room, giving Harry a loathsome glare before slamming the door shut after him. Harry didn't know what to think.  
  
"Apparently you guys didn't bother informing him first", he noted.  
  
Malfoy was shaking his head. "No", he answered.  
  
Goyle was already adjusting the last pieces of his accessories on their places. "That's it", he finally said. "Finished."  
  
Malfoy turned to Goyle, looking very uneasy. "Thanks, Greg…" he said quietly. "I owe you."  
  
"Nah, no problem", Goyle answered with a small grin. "At least I got more space now."  
  
Malfoy grimaced. "Yeah, you're right about that one… My new room is as small as a broom cupboard", he sneered. "But I guess I'll get used to it in time."  
  
Harry's eyes widened as he suddenly remembered…  
  
"Hey, speaking of brooms, the match starts soon. Are you guys coming?" he asked quickly.  
  
He saw Malfoy and Goyle exchanging glances. Goyle shrugged.  
  
"I guess we are", Malfoy answered.  
  
\---  
  
The rest of the day was a very unusual one.  
  
For the first time in their lives, Harry, Ron and Hermione were watching the Quidditch match together with Malfoy and Goyle.  
  
"What the bloody hell are _they_ doing here?" Ron had hissed at first but Hermione had immediately nudged at him to shut him up.  
  
So, for the very first time, they ended up watching the match with the two Slytherins, Harry sitting in between Ron and Malfoy, trying his best to contrentrate on the game. It was a little difficult when on his left side was Ron, loudly cursing and shouting at the players all the time, and on his right side was Malfoy, continually giving sharp remarks and criticizing everything that was happening in the game. However, as annoying as Malfoy was being again, Harry still found himself secretly glancing at the complaining blond, smiling.  
  
The match was very even but finally, almost two hours later, Gryffindor caught the Snitch and beat Ravenclaw. Hermione and Ron were screaming so loudly that Harry was almost certain he might become deaf. Malfoy, instead, was still complaining and rolling his eyes, but Harry saw a tiny smile appear on his lips as their eyes met.  
  
"Ginny was so amazing", Hermione commented ten minutes later when they were all walking through the grass back towards the castle. "She's so good. She could _really_ become a professional player if she wanted to!"  
  
"Uh… yeah…", Harry mumbled, suddenly realizing that he hadn't actually paid _any_ attention to his Chaser-girlfriend during the match. He had been too busy listening and watching _Malfoy._ Once again he glanced to his right side, seeing Malfoy still walking beside him with a slightly amused smile on his lips.  
  
There was a short silence between them all, apart from all the screams and hoorays around them, before Hermione surprised them all.  
  
"Hey, we are going to Hogsmeade later today. Would you like to join us?" she suggested out of the blue. "The two of you", she added, pointing at the two Slytherins walking next to them. She received puzzled, incredulous looks from both of them. Ron seemed to be gasping for air as well, glaring at his girlfriend as if she had lost her mind completely by totally ruining their long awaited Saturday night like this.  
  
Malfoy turned to look over his shoulder, checking that Hermione surely wasn't talking to someone else. "You're talking to us?" he finally asked, wrinkling his eyebrows in disbelief.  
  
"Of course. Who else would I be talking to?" Hermione replied.  
  
Malfoy and Goyle were looking at each other now, exchanging words so quietly that Harry couldn't hear a word they were saying. Finally, after a while, Malfoy turned towards them.  
  
"Fine, we are coming with you, this one time…", he said, still a very sceptical look on his pale face. "But just for a short while."  
  
\---  
  
And just like that they found themselves at the Three Broomsticks later that evening. The inn was very crowded because it was Saturday, but they were still able to find a free table.  
  
As you might guess, at first the atmosphere around them was very tense and they were all just sipping their drinks and avoiding looking at each other in the eyes. After all, they had loathed each other for years, since their very first year at school.  
  
However, as the night went on and they'd had some more drinks, they were able to find something to talk about after all. At one point Harry was very surprised to see Ron, Goyle and Malfoy all discussing about Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes that was owned by Ron's big brother George, and Harry felt glad that they were able to talk like civilized people, even though they had quite a history behind them. He really hadn't imagined that Ron would be able to do that, simply because Ron had always hated Malfoy even more than Harry and that told a lot, but there they were now, talking.  
  
Harry, instead, was chatting with Hermione who was sitting next to him.  
  
"This was a good idea after all", Hermione said to him quietly. "This is going so well!" She gave him a wide smile.  
  
Harry nodded. "I know. Better than I assumed", he said as quietly as Hermione, flashing a grin at her. "Who would have thought?"  
  
Hermione quickly glanced behind her where her boyfriend was babbling about Extendable ears at the moment, his cheeks red because of the alcohol. Goyle and Malfoy were listening to him with raised eyebrows. Hermione turned back to Harry, leaning a little bit closer.  
  
"Actually, I think that Ron is taking this even too well. He's drank way too much", she chuckled.  
  
"Yeah", Harry admitted, grinning. "But at least he's having fun."  
  
Ron had really drank quite a lot already indeed. Goyle had had few beers as well, but Malfoy was not drinking any alcohol at all tonight. Instead he had first ordered a soda and then some peppermint hot chocolate, both times gaining strict looks from madam Rosmerta because of his horrible history. Malfoy not having any alcohol didn't come as a surprise to Harry because he knew that the man must had been drinking quite a lot last night.  
  
Harry leaned forward, resting his head against his palm as he took a big swig from his own drink. His drunken eyes wandered to the blond Slytherin again. He remembered last night very clearly and it felt so weird now that Malfoy had been crying against him when he seemed to be totally fine now. He was still listening to Ron's drunken babbling about the other products without any expression visible on his face. In reality there must have been so many things in the Slytherins mind even now, but he always kept hiding them with his sneers and blank faces.  
  
"Have you talked to Ginny yet?" Hermione asked all of a sudden, a little louder than before, waking Harry from his thoughts.  
  
"No", he quickly answered, lowering his gaze at his glass which he was still holding in his hand. "I tried yesterday, but she said she was busy."  
  
"Well, at least you've tried", Hermione said.  
  
"Yeah… She doesn't seem to want to talk to me anymore", Harry said. "Sometimes I don't know if this thing between me and her is even working anymore…" He let out a sigh.  
  
"Harry… I know I keep repeating myself a lot, but you'll work things out with her eventually and everything will be just fine", Hermione said supportively. "I'm positive about it."  
  
Harry turned to glance at Hermione, who was now smiling. Harry only flashed back a very uneasy grin, returning back to his drink again.  
  
"Yeah... You’re probably right", he muttered, absent-mindedly tapping his fingers against his glass. Did he even want to make up with Ginny anymore? He wasn't sure… At times he found himself missing her but then again…  
  
His eyes kept wandering again slowly, across the table to Malfoy's long, thin fingers rubbing his almost empty glass of cocoa. His gaze lifted slowly towards the Slytherin's face, past that long sleeved and quite tight black shirt that was once again perfectly highlighting that very tempting body of his... Malfoy really knew how to dess up nicely. Harry's eyes kept going, now shamelessly resting on Malfoy's chest. Merlin, the man was hot. He trembled. Once again Malfoy's outfit for the day was making him feel totally wrong kinds of things and the alcohol was definitely not helping at all... In fact it was making it _so much_ worse. He remembered all too clearly how that slender body had felt pressed against his own last night. It had felt so _right..._   
  
His drunken eyes continued their journey back up on Malfoy's body. Damn, that beautiful, pale neck... He remembered how arousing it had been to suck on it in his dream, at the same time humping against that gorgeous body on his lap.  
  
The journey continued. What about those lips... They looked so plump, so soft. There was a bit of cocoa left unnoticed on the blond's upper lip and Harry immediately wanted to lick it away. Damn, he wanted this man, so _damn_ much. His eyes kept slowly going higher, still a little higher... _Shit._  
  
Malfoys grey eyes weren't directed towards Ron anymore. No, they were directed sideways, staring straight at Harry's own. The man may have been staring at him for a long time already, but Harry hadn't noticed.  
  
Harry startled, cheeks flushing, quickly tearing his gaze off the Slytherin. There he had been, slowly, attentively, _shamelessly_ checking Malfoy out, and got caught red-handed by the man himself. He could still feel Malfoy's eyes on him.  
  
Harry was staring at his glass again now, nervously tapping it with his fingernails. Fuck! He was a pathetic idiot. He startled again when he suddenly heard Ron mentioning his name.  
  
"What?" he quickly asked, turning to look at his best friend. Now, instead of just Malfoy, everyone else was watching him too.  
  
"I said that it's all thanks to you, Harry. For helping out Fred and George so much", Ron said. "You know, giving them all the money that you won from the Triwizard Tournament. George is forever grateful for that."  
  
"Oh, right", Harry said, forcing his lips to a wide grin. "It was nothing, really."  
  
He lowered his gaze back to his drink again, taking a sip, finally fully emptying his glass. From the corner of his eye he could still see Malfoy looking at him, but he didn't dare to look at the Slytherin anymore. Instead he decided to get up and walk at the bar counter again. He was a mess. He really needed another drink right now, to calm him down.  
  
This time the bar counter was very crowded so he knew that he would probably need to wait for a good while until he'd get any service, even if he was The Boy Who Lived. But at least he wouldn't have to be sitting with his friends and the two Slytherins for a while. He needed to be alone now and clear his head. That was all he needed right now.  
  
He kept standing there, changing his weight from one foot to another, waiting for his turn, thinking… Things had gone so fucking crazy. After defeating Voldemort he had thought that everything was going to be so well now. He had planned on fully concentrating on finishing his studies and spending all the possible time with Ginny. After graduating he had dreamt of becoming an Auror, marrying his girlfriend, moving in together, starting a family with her… Everything was supposed be so easy, so simple. But now… everything was far from simple. He didn't know a shit anymore. What was he supposed to do?

He heard footsteps and glanced to his side, trembling. He had gotten company.

The blond Slytherin was now standing near, sideways to him, hands in his trouser pockets. Many customers were eyeing Malfoy angrily and whispering to each other but the man didn't seem to care about that right now.  
  
"A little crowded here, eh?" Malfoy commented and winked at him, wearing a tiny smile on his lips.  
  
"Yeah...", Harry mumbled. Once again he found his drunken eyes wandering on the Slytherin's slim body for a little too long and he quickly turned towards the bar counter again. "You having fun?" he managed to ask.  
  
"Well… Kind of", Malfoy answered. "I gotta admit that Weasley's not as bad as I always thought… He's drunk and still annoying but he's… okay, I guess. Who would have thought."  
  
Harry didn't answer. Instead he let out a little laugh. He noticed that his voice had gotten a little raspy because there was so much noise and they'd had to talk so loudly to hear each other speak that night. There were still so many customers before him that he'd have to wait for at least few minutes more before being served. And of course now he was stuck waiting with Malfoy, the man he had fallen for…  
  
Though Harry was far from a shy, blushing person, he couldn't help but to feel a little nervous at the moment, and he kept absentmindedly playing with his messy hair in between his fingers, feeling Malfoy's eyes resting on him again. Was it because he had been caught in action or was it for some other reason that he was not aware of? Harry felt a tiny amount of hope rising in him. Wait a minute, could it be possible that Malfoy was checking him out too? Could it?  
  
Nah… Of course it couldn't be. Once again he was imagining ridiculous things just because he was drunk. Drunk and _stupid._ He would have to stop these kind of thoughts right now before he'd make a total fool of himself.  
  
"Hey, Potter", he suddenly heard the Slytherin speak again after a while of silence between them. "I was thinking…" he paused, clearly hesitating. Harry turned to look at him questioningly. "Would you like to do something tomorrow… like… go flying?"  
  
"Oh", Harry said, raising his eyebrow, observing Malfoy. The Slytherin looked quite tense right now. "Why not", he finally answered. "I don't have any plans yet, so…"  
  
"Good", Malfoy said quickly, steering his gaze towards the bar counter again. "After breakfast again?"  
  
"Fine by me", Harry answered with a shrug.  
  
\---  
  
That night a very drunk Harry found himself having dirty dreams about Malfoy again.

 _This time he was lying on his back on the bed and Malfoy was on top of him, bouncing_ _enthusiastically_ _on his cock. 'Oh god, Draco', Harry was groaning, rubbing_ _at_ _the Slytherin's cock at the same time. 'Just like that... You're amazing...' Malfoy was looking down at him, eyes filled with lust. 'I'm gonna make you come so hard', the blond breathed, speeding up. Harry could feel the pleasure rising in_ _side_ _him, he was getting close and so was Malfoy -_  
  
"Harry! Harry! Wake up!"  
  
Harry's eyes flew wide open. "What?!" he grunted. He was all sweaty and his heart was pounding so fast…  
  
"One of those nightmares again?" Ron asked. He was sitting on his own bed and staring at him, still looking very drunk and also worried.  
  
"Uh... yeah...", Harry mumbled, feeling embarrassed. He quickly checked that his lower body was under the blanket so that Ron wouldn't see his erection.  
  
"You okay?" Ron asked.  
  
"Yeah, I'm okay now. Better get back to sleep...", Harry answered. "Night..."  
  
"Night", Ron replied.  
  
Harry turned his back on his best friend, sighing quietly. If only Ron knew the truth about his so-called "nightmares…"


	8. Chapter 8

Next few weeks changed many things.

  
First of all, Harry found himself spending much more time with Malfoy than he had used to before. They went flying together. They went for walks together. They’d even started studying together. Sometimes they were with Ron and Hermione or some others, sometimes it was just the two of them alone. Anyway, they were really spending a huge amount of time together. "You're almost spending more time with him than with us", Ron had pointed out one day, and Harry had to admit to himself that it was true. It seemed like they were finally becoming friends, Malfoy and him.  
  
There were both pros and cons in Harry's new friendship with Malfoy, of course. Harry really liked spending time with him, and they actually did have quite a few things in common which had come as a big surprise for Harry. Also, they both had a bad sense of humor, so they were laughing together a lot, sometimes almost choking of laughter. But, of course, they were still nagging and arguing with each other a lot too just like they had always done, that hadn't changed. However, most of the time they got along surprisingly well.  
  
Malfoy was still a very outspoken and haughty young man, that hadn't changed either, but somehow Harry had gotten used to it. After all, he had learned that Malfoy also had a warm and caring side in him, a side the Slytherin was, of course, trying his best to hide it behind his mask, but Harry wasn't fooled that easily anymore. After having spent so much more time with the Slytherin, he knew better now. Malfoy really cared about his friends and family and he was always ready to defend or help them if needed. Harry liked that thing about Malfoy a lot. He had once thought that Malfoy was nothing but a coldhearted and selfish bastard who didn't have any real friends and was only using everyone for his own gain, but in reality Malfoy was far from that.

Harry was glad that he had been wrong. He was also glad to see that Malfoy didn't seem so unhappy anymore. He was smiling more often, sleeping better and he even ate better.  
  
But, as said, getting closer to Malfoy had its downsides too. Day by day, the more Harry got to know Malfoy better and the more he and Malfoy were spending time together, his mind became even messier.  
  
He was observing Malfoy way too much, he was always watching the Slytherin secretly. His eyes, his lips, his hair, his body... everything about him. He liked the Slytherins voice, he liked his weird habbits... His head was _always_ full of Malfoy. At nights he found himself constantly having dreams about him and he couldn't stop himself from masturbating to them afterwards. It was becoming a very bad habit for him. However, it wasn't just about lust. No, there was so much more to it. He really cared about the Slytherin, way more than he should have. He had become incredibly fond of the guy.  
  
To make the things even more difficult, Harry had finally been able to sort things out with Ginny so they were still together, but Harry felt guilty for being more interested in Malfoy than his girlfriend. He never dreamt of Ginny anymore, he didn't have as much fun with her anymore as they had used to, he didn't look at her the same way anymore, he wasn't even looking forward to seeing her all that much... and even when Harry _was_ spending time with her, somehow his thoughts kept wandering to the blond Slytherin instead, wondering what the man was doing at the moment and with whom. Harry knew how wrong it was but he just couldn't help it.  
  
It was a fact that Ginny didn't like Harry spending so much time with Malfoy. Even though she had learned to stand the Slytherin just a little bit better (just because Ron and Hermione had forgiven him too and talked her into it), she still didn't like him and didn't want to spend any time in the same group if Malfoy was around at the time. She still kept trying to demean Malfoy and was often trying to make Harry cancel his plans with him by demanding Harry to see her instead, but Harry didn't agree to it. He did spend time with her too but he wasn't ready to give up any time spent with Malfoy either to do so.  
  
There was also something else that Harry had noticed: Malfoy was spending less time with Theodore.

Sometimes they were still sitting at the Great Hall next to each other and sometimes they were still studying together or changing a few words – but that was it. Things between them weren't the same anymore, they clearly weren't best friends like they used to be. Things had really changed after their "date-night", or whatever it had been. Harry still hadn't asked Malfoy about what had happened that night and the Slytherin hadn't opened up about it himself either, but something clearly had changed. Harry knew that Malfoy wouldn't have been crying that night and switching rooms the next day for nothing. It bothered Harry but he didn't dare to ask.  
  
Fortunately Malfoy still had other people to hang out with. Mostly he spent his free time with Goyle but sometimes with other Slytherins as well, or Harry. And sometimes he just wanted to be alone, withdrawing to his own room for hours without a word to anyone.  
  
Anyway, as said, things had changed a lot. For both good and bad.  
  
\---  
  
Then came the day that changed everything for good.  
  
One Friday afternoon at the start of December, Harry once again found himself studying with a certain Slytherin after classes. This time they were at Malfoy's room, Malfoy lying on his own bed on his stomach and Harry sitting at his desk, back towards the Slytherin, finishing their Potions essays together.  
  
"Aaaand... it's... _done_ ", Malfoy finally said after few minutes of silence between them, with the exception of their quills rustling against their own parchments. Harry heard the Slytherin close his Potions book and wrap up his parchment. He himself was still writing, trying to come up with a good way to finish his own essay. Malfoy was yawning behind him and Harry was almost certain that he felt his eyes on his back.  
  
"You know... I could check your essay if you want me to", Harry suddenly heard him suggest out of the blue.  
  
Malfoy offering Harry his help came as a surprise to him. It really seemed like they were friends now and the realization made his lips turn to a tiny smile. "Nah... No need to", he finally muttered without turning around, still writing. "I can manage on my own, but thanks anyway..."  
  
His quill stopped moving as soon as he heard Malfoy chuckling on the bed behind him.  
  
"Hey, what the heck are you laughing at?!" he asked, finally turning around, feeling both a bit amused and irritated at the same time.  
  
"Well... we both know you suck at Potions", Malfoy said with a familiar sneer on his face. "You _always_ have. Apart from the 6th year when you cheated."  
  
"Ha-ha", Harry answered dryly, returning to his essay again.  
  
"What? It's the truth", Malfoy said with a shrug.  
  
Harry didn't answer anymore. He knew he wasn't great at Potions but he didn't suck at it _that badly_ anymore. Professor Snape, the former Potions professor, had hated him and it had affected his grades a lot... But now, when there was professor Slughorn teaching, it was different. He really had gotten better at Potions.  
  
However, Harry had to admit that unlike him, Malfoy was an actual expert at Potions and in many other subjects too. He was very smart, precise and diligent when it came to studying. He was able to concentrate very well during classes and his notes and homework were always neat and systematic, and his grades excellent.  
  
The blond had told him that he was dreaming of becoming a Potioneer after finishing school. He didn't want to become a Potions master but he did want to brew potions for a living and invent them himself. It sounded like a fitting career for him and Harry was certain that Malfoy really could become a respected Potioneer. He really liked the fact that Malfoy actually wanted to do something for a living - his family was so rich that there was no real need for him to do anything at all if he didn’t feel like it.  
  
"Oh come on, Potter... Don't be so touchy", he heard Malfoy sigh teasingly. The next thing he knew, the man was getting up of the bed and walking towards him and soon the Slytherin was already leaning over him and his essay from his right. Harry, having finally finished writing, glanced at him.  
  
"Hey, didn't I tell you that I can manage on my own", he said but Malfoy wasn't paying any attention to his words. He was already scanning Harry's essay with a thoughtful, concentrated look on his pale face. Once again Harry found himself staring at the blond a little too long while the man was reading his essay from beginning to an end. He was waiting for the familiar criticism – but this time he got praised instead.  
  
"Whoa. I must say I'm surprised. This is... okay", Malfoy said. He wasn't quite able to hide his disappointment for not being able to belittle him at all like he had certainly been looking forward to do. After all, the man was Draco Malfoy who still very much enjoyed tantalizing and boasting whenever he got the chance, even if he wasn't as mean as he used to be in the past.  
  
"I did tell you", Harry answered sharply. He was already starting to wrap up his parchment when Malfoy continued.  
  
 _"...If_ we ignore the fact that your handwriting is still as terrible as ever", Malfoy quickly added in his familiar, sardonic way, making Harry sigh tiredly. Of course Malfoy had to come up with _something_ to criticize. "Come on! Just look at it. Like this one, right here..."  
  
Harry felt his heart starting to beat faster as Malfoy was suddenly leaning much closer to him, his body pressing heavily against Harry's back. He swallowed, cursing in his mind. Damn Malfoy and his perfect, slender body against him, damn this man for making him feel this way again...  
  
"...See? This one here... What does it say? Doesn't make any sense to me", Malfoy continued, pointing at the middle left corner of the parchment.  
  
"It says fang", Harry mumbled, his heart racing.  
  
"Really?" Malfoy teased. His closeness was causing cold shivers to travel down Harry's spine again. "And what about _this_ one, here..?"  
  
"Gosh, just... just fuck off already, will you", Harry snorted, shaking his head. Instead of being angry, he was actually turned on and it was definitely not a good thing to happen right now. Thank Merlin he was still wearing his school robes so his slowly growing erection wouldn't probably be so easy to spot.  
  
He finally started wrapping up his parchment and Malfoy pulled away from him. Harry closed his Potions book, stood up and pushed the chair under the desk, turning towards the other man who was still standing there, very close to him. "Should we -", Harry started, moving his hand through his hair. His sentence was cut off because when he lifted his gaze, he found Malfoy looking straight at him with an unrecognizable expression on his face, and the next thing he knew was that his emerald green eyes had – once again – locked with Malfoy's grey ones.  
  
No, no, no. Not again, Harry thought. This was _not_ good. His already slightly hardened cock immediately twitched inside his pants and kept growing again because they were so damn close to each other and _that look_ in Malfoy's eyes... what was it? He had no idea about that but oh Merlin how much he wanted to grab the man right now, kiss him and... Wait a minute. Did he just see Malfoy quickly glance at his lips? Or was he just imagining things again, just like he always was? This was getting ridiculous. Just because Harry was a mess himself and horny for Malfoy, it didn't automatically mean that the Slytherin felt the same way about him. He was pathetic for even thinking about that...  
  
No, he hadn't imagined it, Harry was positive about it now. Malfoy was now biting his lower lip and at the same time his eyes were clearly and very shamelessly lingering on Harry's lips… before he lifted his gaze back again, giving Harry an insecure, tentative look. That was when Harry knew that there was no going back now, not this time. This time it was going to happen. Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived, was going to kiss his ex-nemesis Draco Malfoy, the man he had been dreaming of for _weeks_ and nothing would stop him.  
  
He made his move by lifting his hand up to Malfoys jawline, caressing the Slytherins skin with his thumb. Malfoys eyes closed and Harry could hear him gasp very lightly. He soon moved his fingers slowly to take a hold of Malfoy's chin instead, holding him in place, making the Slytherin open his eyes again and look deep into his own with an intense, fiery look in his grey eyes.  
  
Harry swallowed, still hesitating. _'Damn it, Potter! Be a Gryffindor!'_ , he heard a voice shouting inside his head. _'Just do it! DO IT!'_  
  
He took a step closer so that their bodies were now fully pressed against each other, his eyes boring into Malfoy's own as he started to lean closer. He could feel his heart thumping madly and the blood coursing through his veins. He could feel the butterflies in his stomach, feel Malfoys warm and so tempting body against him, Malfoy's heavy breathing against his lips... And, he could definitely feel his own pulsating erection pressing tightly against the slightly taller man's lower body and there was no doubt that Malfoy felt it too.  
  
Malfoy's eyes closed as Harry came very close and let go of his chin, moving his hand to the back of the blond's neck instead, about to close the last few millimeters gap between them. He closed his own eyes, ready for their first kiss. _Oh yes,_ it was finally happening -  
  
There was some loud knocking on the door and they both jumped, quickly pulling away from each other.  
  
"Harryyy?! Ginny's here!" they heard Hermione calling out from the corridor.  
  
Harry's whole body was shaking. He quickly grabbed his school case from the floor, nervously starting to toss all his own stuff inside from the desk he had worked at. He was avoiding looking at the blond Slytherin.   
  
"I... better be going", he muttered, closing his case.  
  
Malfoy didn't say a word. Cheeks burning of embarrasment and confusion Harry quickly headed to the door and opened it, seeing Hermione standing right in front of him.  
  
"She's at the common room", she announced before leaving.  
  
"Right...", Harry said, still lingering at the door. He glanced backwards, seeing Malfoy standing against the desk now, resting on his elbows, back turned towards the door. Not being able to get another word out of his mouth, Harry departed, closing the door after himself. Right after he heard something like a loud crash from Malfoys room and trembled but didn't dare to go back anymore.  
  
\---  
  
Harry didn't know if he had ever been as distressed before as he was now for the rest of the Friday afernoon. Spending time with Ginny after nearly kissing another person, and not just any person but a guy, was... Merlin, it was _horrible_. Ginny kept on wanting to snuggle and kiss with him on the couch in front of everyone and all Harry could think about was Malfoy.  
  
Yeah, he really couldn't stop thinking about him. He had nearly been able to kiss the Slytherin for the very first time, they had been so close to each other and Malfoy had seemed to be yearning for the kiss too. The look in the Slytherin's grey eyes had been so eager, so full of craving... Harry still couldn't believe it, it was just like a dream come true and then, of course, Hermione had interrupted them. Just at the moment when Harry had been mere millimeters away from kissing the Slytherin... and now... _now_ he didn't know what to think or what he was supposed to do.  
  
However, the worst thing was that even though Harry was embarrassed about the incident, he didn't regret it. He had _really_ wanted to kiss the man and he definitely would have done it if they hadn't been interrupted. Actually he was pretty sure that he would had done a lot more things to the Slytherin than just kissing to be exact, and Malfoy was probably aware of the fact too. After all, Malfoy had definitely felt Harry's erection against his legs, there was no chance he could have possibly missed it.  
  
Harry kept staring at the flames of the fireplace, remembering the fiery look in Malfoy's eyes. Damn Hermione and damn Ginny… He had really wanted to kiss the man, he had wanted it _badly._ Would he ever get another chance anymore, he didn't know. What if he had scared Malfoy? Okay, so maybe the Slytherin had seemed to want the kiss, but then again, Malfoy had also told Harry that he was not gay so it was all very, very confusing.  
  
"You know...", Ginny cut his thoughts by whispering to his ear. "I heard that the room of requirement has finally been fixed…"  
  
"Okay...", Harry said slowly. "So...?"  
  
"So... I was thinking... What do you say if...", Ginny continued, her voice suggestive. Harry could feel her hand squeezing his thigh. Harry was very glad of the fact that there wasn't anyone else sitting nearby at the moment. "...you know... if we'd finally take this to another level...?"  
  
Harry swallowed hard. Ginny wanted to have sex with him. He remembered dreaming about sleeping with Ginny – a long time ago. He had wanted nothing as much as to finally feel her girlfriend's naked body against his own, wanted her to show the unexperienced Harry all the tricks she knew... but now... just thinking about it suddenly felt very weird and almost… gross.  
  
"Like… tomorrow night, maybe?" Ginny continued right against his ear. "I've waited for _months..."_  
  
Harry trembled. His eyes were still staring at the flames of the fireplace and, once again, his mind was filled with nothing but Malfoy's fiery eyes. Those beautiful grey eyes that had looked deep into his soul just an hour ago.  
  
"Uh... maybe", he answered quietly, feeling a big lump in his throat.  
  
Harry was relieved when the dinner time arrived soon after, because he finally had a good reason to detach himself of Ginny. Ginny went to eat with her Gryffindor friends, and Harry, Ron and Hermione ate together at their usual place at the other end of the Great Hall.  
  
"Hey, so I was thinking. It's been almost a month, so... What about Hog's Head tonight?" Ron asked after a short silence.  
  
"I guess", Hermione answered thoughtfully. "If we won't be too late..."  
  
"Uh... why not", Harry sighed absent-mindedly, resting his face against his palm. His gaze was glued to the Slytherin table where he saw Malfoy sitting with Goyle, the two of them having an intense conversation together. His head felt like exploding by any minute. Almost having kissed Malfoy, Ginny wanting to sleep with him… What the hell was he supposed to do?  
  
"Great", Ron said with a wide grin on his face. Then, surprising both Harry and Hermione, he glanced behind him, towards the Slytherin table, and added, while getting up at the same time: "I'll go ask if they'd like to come with us as well."  
  
Before neither of them could manage to say anything, Ron was already gone.  
  
"I can't believe it! Who is he and what has he done to my boyfriend?" Hermione chuckled, putting her hand over her mouth.  
  
Harry was quiet. His eyes followed as his best friend passed the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw tables from the front of the Staff table and headed towards Malfoy and Goyle. Soon Ron was already leaning over the Slytherin table, covering Harry's view so that he wasn't able to see the two Slytherins anymore. Harry, feeling very restless at the moment, quickly forked a piece of lamb to his mouth. He was staring at Ron's back, wondering what the heck took him so long.  
  
Finally, after a minute or so, Ron straightened himself and turned around, heading back towards their table. Harry could see the two Slytherins immediately turning to look at him and Hermione, and he instinctively lowered his gaze back to his plate.  
  
"Yes, they'll join us", Ron announced as he returned back to his seat across the table.  
  
Harry gulped. He hadn't expected Malfoy and Goyle to join them after what had happened between him and Malfoy earlier. Tonight was inevitably going to be a really, really awkward and interesting one.  
  
\---  
  
Harry had been right thinking that the Friday night was going to be an interesting one, but he had no idea how interesting it would really get...  
  
There they were sitting at Hog's Head: Harry, Ron, Hermione, Malfoy and Goyle, drinking, talking and having fun.  
  
Malfoy was, once again, looking as gorgeous as always and Harry had a hard time trying not to be caught staring at the very hot looking blond right across to him at the other side of the table. His thoughts kept returning back to the afternoon, how he had nearly kissed that stunning man today and almost gotten something more as well.  
  
Malfoy was sitting comfortably on the couch, cross-legged, rubbing his glass with his fingers and chatting with the group. He was acting as normally as always and it made Harry feel even more uneasy because it was just like the whole thing between them had never happened. He wanted to know what the Slytherin was thinking but there was no way to read the other man's thoughts because of the mask he was always wearing and it was really making him frustrated. He got up and walked to the bar counter again, buying another beer.  
  
He stayed at the bar counter for a while, just sipping his beer with his back turned to his party. He had already been drinking quite many drinks tonight so he was starting to feel the effect of the alcohol, but he wanted to be drunk to survive through the night. He needed to be able to relax, he needed to act casually and alcohol helped with that a bit. There were all too many thoughts going through his mind...  
  
He quickly glanced backwards when he heard Ron burst out laughing again. It was just enough for him to catch Malfoy's eyes looking straight to his direction. Harry quickly turned around again with a tingly feeling in his stomach and a confused little smile on his lips. Taking a swig of his beer again he gathered himself as well as he could, soon strolling back to their table.  
  
"Really, another drink again?" Hermione asked with a sigh, shaking her head.  
  
Harry replied simply with a shrug, flashing her a grin before taking a seat on his chair again.  
  
Malfoy was watching him from behind his own glass, sipping his drink. "Planning to get wasted tonight, are we, Potter?" he finally asked, a lopsided smile on his lips.  
  
"Yeah", Harry answered, taking another swig of his beer before landing it on the table. He took a more comfortable posture on his chair, resting his eyes for a while. He heard Ron laughing at something Goyle had said.  
  
"Be careful not to pass out though", he suddenly heard Malfoy's already quite drunken voice whispering right next to his ear and he startled, the hair on his neck rising up. He quickly opened his eyes and turned to look at his side, realizing that while he had been resting his eyes, the Slytherin had stood up and was now crouching down right next to him.  
  
"Huh?" he heard himself whispering.  
  
There was a hesitant, kind of shy look in the Slytherin's eyes before he very quietly murmured: "I'm feeling a little oblivious tonight… I think I might forget to lock my door."  
  
After his sentence the Slytherin quickly stood up again, heading to order another drink for himself, leaving Harry completely speechless. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. Was this some kind of a sick joke played on him or was Malfoy actually being serious? He had no idea… Today had already been so weird, so confusing, that Harry's brain wasn't even able to work any more.  
  
As Malfoy finally returned with a new drink and took a seat across from him again, Harry didn't know how to be. His mind kept repeating Malfoy's words and he didn't know if he should look at him or not. He soon noticed that Malfoy was having the same problem himself. There was a light blush on the Slytherin's face as he kept nervously touching his glass, changing his posture all the time and trying to concentrate on what others were talking about. Once in a while Harry could see Malfoy glancing towards his direction as he was sipping his drink. Harry always looked away, unsure of how to react. And that's how the rest of the night at Hog's Head went by, until they were finally making their way back to Hogwarts.  
  
\---  
  
An hour later Harry was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He had been lying there almost for half an hour already, listening to Ron's loud snoring that filled the room. He was very, very drunk and unable to sleep. He had always had trouble sleeping when he was drunk but this time it was for another reason. Actually, for many reasons…  
  
First of all, there was Ginny's desire to sleep with Harry, or _'_ _to_ _take their relationship to another level'_ , whatever. Harry had really, really wanted that before but now when he thought about it, he knew he didn't anymore. It didn't feel like the right thing to do, not after everything that had happened lately. All those arguments with his girlfriend, Ginny's behaviour, his lack of interest towards her… and not to forget the _most important_ reason of all: Malfoy.  
  
Yeah… Draco Malfoy was always on his mind and today had only made it much, much worse. Just thinking about the blond Slytherin, how he had finally gotten so close to the man and almost kissed him made his stomach flutter. He had wanted to hold the man, he had wanted to touch him so, so bad, and he still did… and Malfoy had wanted it too, he was pretty sure of it after their night at the pub. Malfoy had whispered that he might leave his door open for Harry. Blimey, he still couldn't believe it. Malfoy wanted him, Harry Potter, to go to his room at night and… _what then?_ He didn't know what exactly the Slytherin wanted of him, he had no clue, but Harry was pretty sure that it was not just talking, and he was desperate to know…  
  
What the hell was he still doing here in his bed? He needed to go see Malfoy, he needed to see him right now. Harry got up slowly, his head feeling all fuzzy because of his drunken state. Ron let out a very loud snort in his sleep, making Harry finally jump up completely. Trying his best to keep his balance he slowly, _quietly_ left their room.  
  
He was soon standing at Malfoy's door, his hand holding the doorknob, his head spinning. Oh Merlin, here he was. He had no idea what was waiting for him at the other side of the door but he was going to find out soon enough. He was not going to back down anymore... If the door would really be open, that is. Letting out a deep breath, his stomach in knots, he slowly turned the knob. The door did open.  
  
Harry quietly entered the small, dim room, closing the door after him. He was surprised to see Malfoy lying on his bed on his side, eyes already closed. It seemed that the Slytherin had already fallen asleep, after all… Harry felt disappointed, he had waited too long. Letting out a sigh he turned to leave.  
  
 _"Potter?"_  
  
Harry trembled, turning towards the bed again at the whisper. Malfoy had turned on his back and was now staring at him, rubbing his eye.  
  
"Y-yeah", Harry said quietly. He was suddenly feeling very stupid to be standing there, in Draco Malfoy's bedroom, in the middle of the night.  
  
There was a short silence between them. Then, to Harry's surprise, Malfoy moved and lifted the blanket, making room for him.  
  
"Come here", Harry heard him say.  
  
Harry, feeling very nervous, did as he was told. He slowly sat on the edge of the bed first and took off his glasses, leaving them on Malfoy's nightstand before finally lying down. He rolled himself next to the Slytherin who was lying on his side again. There was another awkward silence between them.  
  
"You came", Malfoy finally said.  
  
Harry gave a quick nod, his eyes resting on the other man's.  
  
"I thought you wouldn't come", Malfoy said again and Harry immediately noticed how vulnerable he looked at the moment, his normal confidence all gone.  
  
"I'm here now", he whispered.  
  
They were simply looking at each other for a while until Harry gathered all his courage and leaned forward, finally pressing his lips against the Slytherin's mouth.  
  
From the first touch of their lips Harry knew he was hooked. He had never felt anything like this before, not with Cho, not with Ginny. No, this was how it was _supposed_ to be, this was what he had waited for all his life. Malfoy's lips were so soft, so smooth, so perfect against Harry's own and he never wanted to let the man go. These lips were meant for him only, him and no one else.  
  
Harry moved his tongue in between Malfoy's lips and soon the other man opened his mouth, letting Harry's tongue slip in, and Harry kissed him passionately. He could still taste Malfoy's favourite drink in his mouth as their tongues were moving against each others. Harry felt his heart beating faster and faster and he pulled Malfoy even closer, wanting to feel his body fully pressed against his own. Oh god, this was _finally_ happening. For _so_ long he had waited for this and now he was here, kissing and holding the man he had been dreaming of…  
  
He was running his hands all over the Slytherin's beautiful, warm body, loving the feeling of it against him. So graceful, so perfect... Malfoy moaned in his mouth and his fingers were running through Harry's messy hair, and Harry could feel the desperation, the yearning, _the_ _hunger_. He had never wanted anything else like he wanted this man.  
  
He was floating. He was feeling full of life again.


	9. Chapter 9

Harry and Malfoy couldn't get enough of each other. They kept kissing eagerly, hands travelling everywhere on each others bodies, caressing and groping each other. Place, time and everything else was fading away as they kept firmly pawing at each other, trying to release all their pent-up sexual tension.

If Harry had had any doubts about Malfoy's interest towards him earlier, he didn't anymore. Malfoy was clinging onto him like there was no tomorrow, almost crushing him with his lips as they were both seeking dominance just like they always had, and when their lips finally parted for longer than one or two seconds, the Slytherin was looking at him with so much longing and lust in his grey eyes, breathing heavily: "Damn I want you..."  
  
Malfoy's words sent electricity up along Harry's spine. "Oh... yeah?" he gasped, flashing a confused grin to the blond.  
  
"Yeah...", Malfoy whispered, moving his forefinger along Harry's scar.  
  
Harry was just staring at the other man for a short while until he smashed his mouth against the Slytherin's again and rolled on top of him, kissing him roughly. Was he dreaming again? Malfoy had touched his scar and told him he wanted him... Why the hell did Draco Malfoy want him, Harry Potter, in his bed, of all people? It didn't make any sense to him at the moment – but it didn't matter. Merlin, hearing stuff like that felt so good, so arousing.  
  
"Better give you what you want then", he breathed against Malfoy's ear after their lips parted again, moving his lips to the Slytherin's neck instead. Malfoy smelled and tasted so good and his skin was smooth like silk against his lips. He couldn't get enough of this man, he could just eat him up. He wanted to touch and feel him in every way possible.  
  
Malfoy was moaning under him, moving his hands to Harry's bottom now. Harry's cock was already hard and he could feel that Malfoy was as hard as him. Soon their erections were pressed together, only separated by their pyjamas, and Harry was slowly rubbing himself against Malfoy.  
  
"Oh f-fuck...", Harry heard the other man groaning as he was eagerly sucking on the Slytherin's throat and rubbing their crotches together at the same time.  
  
"I want you too, Malfoy", he breathed against the beautiful pale skin, sucking on it, nearly leaving marks. "You drive me so fucking crazy."  
  
Malfoy answered by moaning loudly, lifting his hips up against Harry's. Malfoy's hands were now working on his lower back, desperately trying to get rid off his pyjamas and underpants. The next thing Harry knew was that his rock hard member was already free and immediately grasped by the Slytherin's hand, making him gasp. Malfoy's long, thin fingers were firmly moving on his throbbing cock and he felt like he was losing his mind _right now_. "Malf-"  
  
"Draco", Malfoy corrected him, suddenly sounding a little fierce.  
  
Harry lifted his head in confusion, his eyes locking with the other man's own. Malfoy wanted Harry to call him by his _first name_ , really? How hot was that! There was a familiar, fiery look in the Slytherin's eyes again.  
  
"Fine... Ahhh, _Draco!_ " Harry groaned, his eyes closing as Malfoy squeezed him hard.  
  
Then, suddenly, the Slytherin decided to roll them over so it was Malfoy lying on top now. Their mouths crashed against each other's again and they kissed hungrily. Harry lowered his hands to Malfoy's lower body at the same time, starting to shamelessly squeeze his buttocks that were still covered by very expensive looking white satin pyjamas.  
  
"Mm. Just take them off already", Malfoy soon gasped in between the kiss, still rubbing Harry's erection with his right hand at the same time.  
  
Harry did as he was told, undressing both of Malfoy's pants as fast as he could with his trembling hands. He was desperate to finally see and especially feel all of Malfoy. It was the Slytherin's turn to moan as Harry freed and immediately grabbed his hard member as well, eagerly starting to move his fingers on it. Harry loved the feeling of it in his hand. Malfoy's cock was bigger than in his dreams, nearly as big as his.  
  
"Merlin, Mal- _Draco_... I want _all_ of you. Now", he breathed against Malfoys lips, biting them. He couldn't take it anymore. He needed to feel Malfoy completely, he needed to be inside this stunning man right now. He needed to know what it would be like for real, mere dreams were not enough. Besides, Malfoy had already said that he wanted Harry as well and he was more than ready to fulfill the other man's wish.  
  
"I know...", Malfoy said back, his stormy grey eyes looking deep into Harry's emerald green ones. God how much Harry loved those eyes. "But you'll have to wait. It's not gonna happen tonight."  
  
Harry's mouth opened. What?!  
  
"Like hell I'm gonna wait!" he groaned, letting go of Malfoy's cock. He was feeling very frustrated right now. He wanted the man so damn much and Malfoy was just going to keep him waiting?! "I want you tonight. I'm going to fuck you right now." He moved his hands to Malfoy's buttocks again, groping them ravenously.  
  
"No. You're _not",_ Malfoy said sharply, a self-satisfied grin on his face. "Stop trying to boss me around, Potter. Your dick is going nowhere near my ass tonight. You _will_ wait."  
  
Harry groaned in disappointment and was about to object again but was immediately silenced by another rough kiss from the other man.  
  
Soon they were, once again, rubbing against each other, this time with no pants on, simply skin on skin. Malfoy was on top, holding and moving their cocks together with his hand and they were both moaning loudly.  
  
They didn't even care that they were making a lot of noise. Harry didn't even know if Malfoy had cast the Silencing charm to the room or not but he didn't give a damn, to be honest. All his drunken brain knew was that he had never experienced such amount of pleasure in his whole life. No, _nothing_ could compare to this. There was no way to describe the feeling well enough. It was so arousing, so intimate, so pleasurable, almost painful... It was _everything_ at the same time.  
  
"Oh gosh...!" Malfoy suddenly cried out as he was finally getting closer, his whole body shuddering above him. "I'm so fucking close..."  
  
"Me too...", Harry gasped. Malfoy was rubbing at their slick members so hard against each other’s now that it was driving Harry mad. Everything was starting to go black, he was getting really close now. "Draco, oh god I'm gon- aaah-"  
  
They came against each other almost at the same time, both crying of pleasure, cum mixing in between Malfoy's tight grip and their bellies. The Slytherin's now powerless body landed heavily on top of Harry's, his face buried against Harry's neck. They were just lying there for a while, bodies glimmering with sweat, before finally Malfoy rolled next to him.  
  
Harry's gaze followed as Malfoy, who was still breathing very heavily, slowly rose to sit down on the bed, took his wand from the night stand and started muttering the cleaning spell, pointing first at his palm and next at each of their bellies. Having soon cleaned everything up, the Slytherin quickly put his wand back, falling back to bed right next to Harry.  
  
Now that it was over, Harry was suddenly feeling awkward. He was staring at the ceiling again, his brain unable to work out everything that had happened, but one thing was clear: he had just had his first real sexual experience with someone else and of all the possible people it had happened with none other than Draco Malfoy. Just thinking about it was so crazy. He was Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, and he could have almost any girl he wanted, and still he had ended up doing it with another man. He had done it with _Malfoy_.  
  
Malfoy was lying on his side next to him, face towards Harry, eyes resting on his face. "Care to share what's on your mind?" the Slytherin asked.  
  
Harry didn't know how to answer. There were too many things running on his mind right now. He was speechless.  
  
"Feeling regretful?" he heard Malfoy ask again after a while of waiting. The Slytherin was clearly trying to sound indifferent.  
  
"I don't know", Harry mumbled. "This is so crazy."  
  
Malfoy nodded. "Tell me about it", he sighed.  
  
Harry finally turned his head to side, facing the other man. "I can't quite believe what just happened", he said. "I've never even..." He paused. It was awkward to put it into words, to admit his inexperience to the other man. "...and now with... _you."_  
  
The Slytherin's face was priceless. He rose to rest on his elbow. "What? You mean this was your..." His voice faded away.  
  
Harry, feeling very embarrassed now, gave a slow nod.  
  
Malfoy was looking at him skeptically. "So... you're telling me...", he started slowly. "...that Harry Potter, _the savio_ _u_ _r of the_ _W_ _izarding_ _W_ _orld-_ "  
  
"-has had no kind of sexual experience yet, _yes_ ", Harry ended the sentence. He couldn't look at Malfoy in the eyes anymore. Right now he just wished to be able to disappear from the earth. Why the heck was he making a laughing stock of himself like this, in front of Malfoy, the man who had always very much enjoyed using any of his weaknesses against him?  
  
"Not even with the Weasley girl?" Malfoy asked.  
  
Harry shook his head and let out a sigh, staring at the ceiling again. "No, not even with her. Only with you. Feel free to laugh", he said, ashamed. He knew that Malfoy was going to mock him so bad now and it was already pissing him off.  
  
"Why would I laugh?" Malfoy surprised him by asking instead.  
  
He turned to look at the blond in confusion, seeing a weird smile on the blond's lips as he said: "Hearing stuff like that from you, Potter... It's _fucking hot_ , that's what it is." And then Malfoy had already pulled him closer and kissed him. Harry kissed him back, feeling very abashed right now. Blimey, Malfoy found his inexperience _hot...?_  
  
They exchanged a very long, thorough kiss, fumbling and nibbling at each other's lips with care, pausing and just looking at each other in the eyes every now and then. Harry realized how much he really loved kissing the man. There were no words to describe it, it just felt so right and he wished he'd never have to stop doing it. He had _never_ felt like this with Ginny. To be honest, kissing Ginny felt like nothing compared to this and it really worried Harry.  
  
"Guess what?" Malfoy suddenly whispered against his lips.  
  
"Huh?" Harry asked, his gaze stuck on those beautiful grey eyes again, his stomach fluttering.  
  
"Only with you, too", Malfoy said, causing Harry's eyes to widen. "No one else before tonight..."  
  
"Seriously?"  
  
"You think I'd make up stuff like that?" Malfoy asked in a slightly irritated tone. "Yeah, seriously."  
  
They shared another long, stupendous kiss and Harry was feeling very confused. It was still very difficult for him to believe what he had just heard. He was inexperienced and Malfoy had just told him he hadn't done anything sexual with anybody else before either, which meant that they had both just had their first sexual experiences... _together_.  
  
"This is so fucking crazy", Harry said again after they’d finally gotten enough of kissing, rubbing his eyes with his hand. "This is pure madness."  
  
"I know", Malfoy said.  
  
Silence fell over them. They were both just staring at the ceiling for a good while, both deep in their own thoughts. Harry was starting to feel very uneasy now that the the effect of alcohol had slowly started to fade away. He realized that he should probably return to his own bed.  
  
"Maybe we should get some sleep", he sighed. He was on his way trying to get up when he felt Malfoy grabbing his arm tightly.  
  
"Where _the hell_ do you think you're going?!" the Slytherin asked sharply.  
  
"My bed, of course", Harry answered, turning to face the other man.  
  
"Nah ah ah, not gonna happen", Malfoy said, shaking his head. "We just rubbed our dicks together so sleeping in the same bed should be no problem."  
  
"But...", Harry started, glancing towards the door with a worried face. Everything was blurry because of his missing glasses.  
  
"The door is already locked. Calm the _fuck_ down", Malfoy sighed. He was starting to sound pissed.  
  
"I didn't see you lock it", Harry said doubtfully.  
  
"I _always_ lock it at night. I only changed the charm on it tonight so you could enter."  
  
Harry's eyes widened. "Oh..." He slowly turned towards the Slytherin.  
  
"I also cast a Silencing Charm every night because of my nightmares", Malfoy continued, breaking the eye contact. "Your dirty little secret is safe."  
  
Harry was relieved of course, but he also noticed the bitter tone in the Slytherin's last sentence and immediately felt a stab of remorse in his chest.  
  
He went to lie down again, surprising the Slytherin by wrapping his arm around him and pulling him against his chest. Malfoy didn't seem to mind, although he still had a little cranky expression on his pale face. Harry moved his free hand to Malfoy's hair, caressing the soft platinum locks gently with his fingers.  
  
"Malfoy, I... I don't know what to say", he sighed quietly. "It's not that I'm ashamed of you..."  
  
"Yeah right", Malfoy sneered coldly. "You're the saviour of the Wizarding World and I am an ex-Death Eater. I can put two and two together without you having to spell it out for me."  
  
Harry sighed again. "That's not what I meant", he said. "But you do know that I'm with Ginny and... she wants us to take our relationship to the next level very soon, and..."  
  
Malfoy didn't say anything. Instead he just stared into the distance with an empty gaze.  
  
"My head has been nothing but a mess after the war", Harry continued. "And I really am sorry to have involved you in this too..."  
  
"Do you love her?"  
  
Harry trembled. "Uh..." He couldn't manage to say anything. Malfoy had totally gotten him off guard this time.  
  
"It's a simple question", Malfoy said pungently.  
  
"I... I can't answer that", Harry muttered. He heard Malfoy sneer again.  
  
"Just as I thought", the Slytherin said, letting out a tired yawn. "You think I'm an idiot, do you? I've seen you eye fucking me for _weeks_ , Potter."  
  
"I haven't been _eye fucking_ you", Harry said. He let go of Malfoy's hair, his cheeks starting to heat up. "And even if I had, it would have nothing to do with her. I do care about her."  
  
"But you still told me you haven't had any kind of sex with her and you've been together for a long time already", Malfoy pointed out. Harry's eyes widened as he started to imitate Harry's voice next: " _'The bed is kind of small...'_ , oh come on! That was the worst excuse I've ever heard!" He chuckled.  
  
"What the hell?! Were you listening to us that night?!" Harry yelped.  
  
Malfoy was rolling his eyes. " _Yeah?_ " he said self-evidently. "How would I be able to miss when she was trying her best to get to ride your dick on that couch, right in front of my very eyes." There was once again that bitter tone in his voice and he paused before adding: "What I'm trying to say here is... are you _sure_ you care about her in a sexual way and not more as a sister or something?"  
  
"No offence, Malfoy, but that is _none_ of your business", Harry said dryly.  
  
"It wasn't earlier", Malfoy snorted. "But like you said, I'm meddled in this too now, so-"  
  
"My relationship with Ginny has still got nothing to do with you", Harry said, his voice getting colder. "I don't want to talk about it now. Clear?"  
  
Malfoy didn't say anything. He just kept resting his head against Harry's chest, letting out a heavy sigh, and another silence fell over them.  
  
"I enjoyed what happened tonight between us", Harry finally said, having calmed down. "But it's not like this could ever lead to something permanent, right? With all our crazy history together, all that violence between us, your family, our friends, my girlfriend... There's just too many things and... it would never work anyway, right?"  
  
Malfoy was still so quiet that Harry thought the Slytherin had already fallen asleep in his arms. Then, finally, after a while of silence he heard Malfoy say tiredly: "Right... Why do you think I didn't want to go all the way with you tonight? I _know you,_ Potter. A lot better than you think."  
  
There was another silence until Harry managed to speak again. "This can not happen again, you know...", he said quietly. "The thing is, I'm with Ginny and I don't want to hurt her, so this must stop right away."  
  
"Right", Malfoy said tonelessly. Harry couldn't see his face because he was still staring towards the door.  
  
"If only things were different, you know...", Harry sighed. "But they're not..."  
  
"Yeah", Malfoy answered shortly again.  
  
Harry couldn't help feeling a little sting in his chest. Malfoy didn't even seem to care at all. It was quite clear that he didn't mean anything to Malfoy, not really. Malfoy had just been horny tonight and Harry had been available, but he didn't seem to be attached to him, unlike Harry was to him.  
  
"So, you agree that this was the first and last time that we...?" he asked tentatively. He secretly hoped that Malfoy would show some signs of objection, in any possible way, but it didn't happen.  
  
"Yeah", Malfoy said, still no expression in his voice.  
  
And that was the last thing they said to each other that night. It didn't take long before Malfoy already fell asleep in Harry's arms, face resting against his chest, but Harry himself was unable to fall asleep so soon.  
  
His fingers were caressing the silky platinum blond hair again. Feeling Malfoy's warm breath against his skin gave him shivers. He really cared about this man and tonight had been the best thing that had ever happened to him. Even though it had probably been just sex without feelings for Malfoy, to him it had meant everything, and the mere thought of having to let Malfoy go now was killing him inside. Just thinking of someone else getting to hold Malfoy like this in the future..  
  
A heavy, shaking breath escaped his mouth and he could feel the restrained tears burning in his eyes.  
  
 _Curse him._ He was not allowed to feel this way! He was in a relationship with Ginny, and he had cheated on her tonight. How could he have let this happen... It was a different matter _to dream_ about having sex with someone else than to _actually_ do it. Even if they had been arguing with Ginny a lot and they hadn't been on the best possible terms lately, he had no right to do this to her. No one deserved to be treated like this. He really was the worst possible boyfriend ever. He didn't deserve Ginny.  
  
His gaze travelled to the sleeping Slytherin again and his stomach tightened. He would never touch the Slytherin like that again, even though he wanted nothing more.  
  
He kept caressing the platinum hair for a while, until he finally wrapped his other hand around the other man as well, pulling him tighter against his own body. Malfoy's grip around him tightened as well and Harry smiled sadly, the held back tears finally streaming from his eyes. He would cherish this night forever, because tonight would be the last time he could hold Malfoy like this.


	10. Chapter 10

When Harry woke up early next morning he was wearing a dreamy smile on his lips.

He and Malfoy had ended up lying spooning sometime overnight, Harry being the little spoon. Malfoy's body was tightly pressed against his backside, his right hand under Harry's head and his left hand thrown over his chest. Being hugged by Malfoy so tightly was like a dream come true to Harry. Malfoy's naked lower body pressed against his own naked skin and their firmly intertwined fingers... Oh Merlin how _perfectly_ the two of them fit together. Malfoy's lips were pressed against the back of his neck, his warm breaths causing shivers run down his spine. Damn, just thinking about the Slytherin's naked lower body and especially feeling it pressed against his own, and feeling that breath against the nape of his neck... it was really starting to make him feel aroused, but he tried his best to fight it.  
  
He closed his eyes again, just relaxing and enjoying the warm closeness of the man next to him. Everything felt so right. He was almost starting to fall asleep again...  
  
...when suddenly he came back to reality – and the realization hit him hard. _Oh god._ He felt a giant flash of guilt overflowing him. His eyes flew wide open.  
  
What was he _still_ doing here? He could not stay here, not even for a minute longer. This wasn't right, this was wrong. The flashbacks from last night suddenly got him feeling sick in his stomach.  
  
How the hell could he have done this to Ginny? He was supposed to take care of his girlfriend, make sure that everything was perfect for her, shelter her... _not_ betray and hurt her like this. And still, here he was in bed with someone else, naked, and with another man, no less. Okay, he may have been very drunk last night but that was no excuse. He had loved every second he spent with Malfoy and, to be honest, he even wished to be able to do it again, and not just kissing and masturbating together. He wished he could have more than that, go all the way with him.  
  
Oh god... He was nothing but a vile, immoral, sickening human being. He'd have to go. He'd have to go _right now._  
  
He loosened Malfoy's grip around him, quickly jumping out of the bed. He made his way to the other side of the bed to get his glasses and put them on, starting to search for his pyjamas and underpants next. He was walking back to the other side of the bed when he heard the sheets rustle and trembling he glanced towards the voice.  
  
Malfoy had woken up too. He was now sitting on the bed, eyes slightly open and directed straight at him. He looked very tired and even paler than normally, there were bags under his grey eyes and his usually groomed and clean platinum hair was all ruffled and sweaty after the night. In Harry's eyes he still looked like the most beautiful person in the whole world.  
  
"What time is it?" Harry heard the Slytherin ask.  
  
"Six", he answered shortly, quickly breaking the eye contact between them. The longer he’d look at Malfoy, the harder this would be for him.  
  
He found his underpants from the floor next to the bed, starting to pull them on. He could feel Malfoy's eyes lingering on him.  
  
"Leaving already?" the Slytherin asked quietly.  
  
Harry grabbed his pyjamas next and sat to the edge of the bed, starting to tuck his feet in them, not answering. His head was so full of guilt right now that he was simply unable to speak. He was disgusted by himself and the terrible hangover was making it much worse. He let out a heavy sigh.  
  
"Potter?" he heard Malfoy's tentative voice behind him.  
  
Harry's eyes were starting to burn from the restrained tears but it only made him even more angry at himself. He did not want to start crying in front of Draco Malfoy! There was _no way_ he'd do that.  
  
"Potter? Talk to me."  
  
Harry couldn't. He finally got his pyjamas on and was starting to get up, but was immediately stopped by the Slytherin's hand that landed on his shoulder.  
  
 _"Potter..."_  
  
Harry pushed Malfoy's hand roughly away from him, quickly jumping out of the bed.  
  
"Don't!" he said hoarsely, not able to face the other man right now. He walked to the door and left Malfoy's room without one glance backwards. Closing the door behind him, he found himself heading straight to the bathroom to throw up.  
  
\---  
  
Having spent at least quarter of an hour vomiting he finally returned to his own bed, making sure to close the curtains tight. Ron was still snoring boisterously but Harry had no chance of sleep anyway. He was lying on his stomach, drenching his pillow with tears.  
  
He had messed _everything_ up. First of all, his relationship with Ginny. Ginny had no idea what a distorted man she actually had as her boyfriend. Ginny hated Malfoy's guts and now Harry had ended up in bed with the same guy she so much despised. She would never forgive him if she found out what had happened last night. Moreover, how would Harry be able to forgive himself either? How was he supposed to look at his girlfriend in the eyes and pretend that everything was just fine when he had actually ruined everything for good?  
  
The second thing he had obviously messed up was his new friendship with Malfoy. After all those years of hate, bitterness and fighting between them, they had finally been able to become friends of sort. Malfoy had just learned to trust Harry, at least in some way, but what about now? How could they go on as friends when they had suddenly spent a night kissing, snuggling and frotting with each other. The worst part was that he secretly didn't even want to go on as _friends_ anymore. No, he wished to have more than a friendship with Malfoy, only it was not possible. It never would be.  
  
Harry was rubbing at his watery eyes. What if someone found out about what had happened? He didn't even want to think about all the consequences. He would lose his girlfriend, his friends, his reputation... He could already imagine all the possible headlines in the Daily Prophet. _'Harry Potter's dirty little secret'_... _'Harry Potter shagging an ex-Death Eater'..._ Oh god.  
  
No. No one would know about last night. He'd have to make it very clear to Malfoy. Of course he didn't want to believe that Malfoy would go around telling people about it, because Malfoy wanted to protect _himself_ as well, but you never knew for sure because it _was_ Draco Malfoy after all. The Slytherin had thoroughly enjoyed spreading gossip about him and ruining his reputation in their earlier school years. Thinking about the 'Potter stinks'-badges and the interviews he had given to _Rita Skeeter_... Harry remembered all of that all too well. Malfoy had changed since then, but you never knew for sure when talking about him. He would definitely have to talk to Malfoy about it later today. He should have done it already.  
  
\---  
  
The problem was that he didn't get a chance to talk to the Slytherin. Malfoy did come to meals and Harry did see him at their common room too, but there were always so many other people around that he couldn't talk about last night. Harry tried to give Malfoy some signals but it didn't work either: Malfoy seemed to be avoiding any possible eye contact with him that day.  
  
Ginny had been clinging onto Harry at meals as well and after dinner she followed Harry, Ron and Hermione to their common room. Harry, feeling intolerably guilty, tried his best to pretend everything was just like before, but it turned out to be very difficult, just like he had thought it would be.  
  
Ginny wanted to snuggle with him on the couch and all Harry could think about was who he had been snuggling with last night and how different everything had felt then. Ginny's girly, hourglass shaped body and her breasts pressed against his own body didn't feel right anymore. Instead he rather preferred the feeling of Malfoy's masculine but skinny body with no breasts, all sharp angles and lean muscles, pressed against him.  
  
When he was stroking his girlfriend's fire-red hair, he suddenly realized how thick and coarse it felt against his fingers. It was nothing close to Malfoy's silky and so light platinum hair – that also smelled so good.  
  
He found that he didn't even like the adept, familiar way that Ginny kissed him with her thin lips anymore. No, he missed Malfoy's full lips, the taste of his mouth and his clearly inexperienced, frantic way of kissing Harry... He missed the way that Malfoy had bitten at his lip and looked at him deep in the eyes at the same time. Merlin, he could imagine spending hours and hours just kissing the Slytherin and he wanted to be the one to teach him to kiss better.  
  
When Ginny broke their kiss and looked at him with her deep brown eyes, he felt nothing. Nothing close to... He glanced over the couch to the other side of the room, where Malfoy was talking with Blaise and Pansy. Malfoy was facing Harry and Ginny, but he wasn't _looking_ at them. It seemed like Malfoy hadn't even noticed that Harry was in the room at all. Harry had been like air to the Slytherin the whole day, and he couldn't help feeling bitter about it. Why wouldn't Malfoy even look at him?! Last night had made him fall for the blond Slytherin even more than before, and instead of feeling even something similar towards him, Malfoy obviously didn't give a rat's arse about Harry.  
  
  
After Ginny had finally left to go to her own dormitory and it was already very late, Harry still stayed at the common room, just leaning his head against the back of the couch, staring at the ceiling and listening to the three Slytherins chattering quietly behind him. He needed to have a word with Malfoy because he had been too shocked to to do that earlier in the morning.  
  
When he heard the trio getting up and leaving towards their own rooms, he glanced over his shoulder, just in time to catch Malfoy's eyes finally looking directly at him for a second before they all disappeared to the corridor that led to their rooms.  
  
Harry waited for few minutes before following, soon standing at Malfoy's door. He was going to knock first but didn't want anyone else to hear, so he decided to try if the door was already open. It was, at least for him.  
  
Taking a deep breath he entered the room and closed the door behind him as quietly as he could. Malfoy was in a half lying, half sitting position on his bed, glancing over his book at Harry with a questioning look on his pale face.  
  
"Uh...", was all that Harry was able to come up with, staring at the Slytherin. Now that he was standing there, he didn't know what to say anymore. "Could I have a word with you, Malfoy...?"  
  
Malfoy closed his book. "About what?" he asked.  
  
Harry was nervously fiddling with his unruly fringe. "What do you think?" he asked.  
  
Malfoy seemed to tense a little. He stretched himself to place the book on his night stand and then returned to his slouching position, folding his hands on his lap. "Take a seat and fire away then." He gestured towards the bed.  
  
Harry hesitated for a while before he walked to the bed, sitting down on the edge, sideways to Malfoy.  
  
"So...", he started, almost whispering. He glanced nervously towards the door, making Malfoy sigh. The Slytherin swiftly pulled his wand from his pocket and cast a silencing charm around the room.  
  
Harry wasn't sure where he should start from, so he decided to just ask the question that crossed his mind first.  
  
"You haven't told anyone, have you?" He was staring at the painting on the wall.  
  
Malfoy frowned at him. "Seriously? _That's_ the only thing you care about?"  
  
"Just answer the question, Malfoy", Harry snapped.  
  
Malfoy let out a heavy sigh. "Oh for Salazar's sake, what kind of person do you think I am", he said, shaking his head. "No, I haven't told anyone."  
  
"Good", he said, letting out a relieved sigh. He gained a resentful glare from the Slytherin.  
  
"Was that all?"  
  
"No", Harry said quickly. "We have to talk." He didn't know where the conversation would go but he knew that they needed to talk about last night sooner or later. However, the Slytherin's next question got him astounded.  
  
"What is there to talk about anymore?" Malfoy asked tonelessly. "I thought you already said everything necessary last night, and today just confirmed it."  
  
"Well...", Harry muttered, suddenly feeling uncertain. Malfoy's indifference about the matter was hurting him much more than he wanted to admit. "I thought there was quite a lot to talk about..."  
  
"There isn't", Malfoy said. "We were both wasted and horny, and one thing led to another. That's all it was." He didn't look at Harry anymore.  
  
Harry felt a lump in his throat. "So you were... horny... and I just happened to be there..."  
  
He tried his best to hide the fact that Malfoy's words were cutting into him like a knife. Had last night meant _nothing_ at all to the Slytherin? For a short while last night he had actually thought that Malfoy wanted him, Harry Potter, for who he was. He had thought that the Slytherin cared about him as well, as much as Harry cared about him, but clearly it had all been his imagination. He had just been _available,_ nothing more.  
  
Malfoy's grey eyes were fixed on him. _"You're_ the one who started it in the first place, Potter. _You_ made the first move by trying to kiss me earlier, before Granger interrupted us."  
  
"You mean I can only blame myself for this?" Harry asked, irritated. "May I remind you who left the door unlocked on purpose? You _wanted_ me to come here!"  
  
"Because I was wasted and you had been messing with my head by trying to kiss me", Malfoy pointed out. _"You_ got me into this."  
  
"I wasn't planning on messing with your head..."  
  
"But you did", Malfoy said. "What's done is done."  
  
Harry gave a sigh. "I... I don't know what to say... Can't we just... at least try to forget about yesterday and... be friends again?"  
  
Malfoy snorted. "Are you _really_ naive enough to think we can just pretend like nothing ever happened between us?" He shook his head. "Friends? Hmph. More like friends with benefits."  
  
Harry gave another sigh and shook his head as well. "No, Malfoy. No benefits, just a normal friendship. We already talked about this yesterday... I have a girlfriend."  
  
"I know", Malfoy said, rolling his eyes. "You just spent the last few hours eating her face in front of my eyes, trying to prove how straight you are."  
  
"Let's get to the point", Harry sighed. "I'm with Ginny and what happened last night can _not_ happen again."  
  
"I've heard it a thousand times already", Malfoy said, rolling his eyes again. "Do you ever stop?"  
  
"I mean it", Harry said strictly. "Last night was a mistake."  
  
Malfoy turned to look at him. "It _definitely_ was", he said, pursing his lips tightly, and silence fell over them.  
  
Harry kept staring at the abstract painting on the wall with beautiful, calming dark green shades, lost deep in his thoughts. Just like he had thought, last night had really meant nothing to Malfoy, so it was pointless to tell how he really felt towards the other man. He would have to continue like nothing had ever happened between them, pretend that it had meant nothing to him either... He would carry on his relationship with Ginny and try to forget about last night, though it had been the best thing that had ever happened to him. He would have to do it, be with Ginny and have the kind of life that everyone expected of him to have: getting married and having a family with her.  
  
"You have to promise me that you won't tell anyone what happened", he finally continued under Malfoy's intense glare. "I don't want to end up on the front page of the Daily Prophet because of this."  
  
"How many times do I have to tell you?!" Malfoy asked, sounding very pissed. _"I haven't told anyone about last night!"_  
  
"And you won't either?" Harry still insisted.  
  
Malfoy grimaced in annoyance. "Ask me _one more time_ , Potter, and I swear I'm gonna hex you!" He paused, before adding pungently: "And from now on, I'd suggest you to drink _a little less_ if you're planning to stay faithful to your adorable girlfriend and keep your reputation clean."  
  
Harry scowled at the Slytherin. "I _will_ be faithful", he said. "I will _never_ do it to Ginny again. I'm going to marry her one day, after we graduate."  
  
Malfoy let out a cold laugh. "Go ahead", he said nonchalantly. "I wish you good luck with that marriage." He crossed his arms across his chest, looking away from him.  
  
Another silence fell over them and Harry felt very disappointed. Discussing about yesterday had not gone at all like he had planned. Instead of making up they had only ended up taunting and blaming each other. Harry was not proud of himself at all. He didn't want Malfoy to think of him as a heartless bastard who didn't care about his feelings whatsoever.  
  
"I know it's too late to say this but...", he started. "I'm... sorry." Malfoy didn't turn to look at him. Instead he seemed to be staring blankly into space. "You're right for saying that I dragged you into this. I know I should have considered things more first but I didn't and... I really am sorry."  
  
Malfoy still didn't look at him and Harry wasn't even sure if he was listening to him anymore. He had really ruined everything.  
  
"I guess the Sorting Hat knew better after all", he found himself muttering to himself, deep in his thoughts. "I should have been in Slytherin instead."  
  
That was what finally caught Malfoy's full attention. The Slytherin's head turned towards him instantly.  
  
"What did you just say?" he asked.  
  
"Uh... Nothing", Harry said quickly.  
  
"No. You said that the Sorting Hat knew better", Malfoy said sharply. "What did you mean by that?"  
  
Harry gulped. He hadn't told Malfoy about their first years Sorting Ceremony. Actually there were very few people who knew about it _at all._  
  
"At the Sorting Ceremony our first year...", Harry started, feeling Malfoy's eyes boring into him. "The Sorting Hat sorted me into Gryffindor but... I think it was just because I couldn't stand the idea of ending up in Slytherin. The Hat thought that I would have done well in your house and I had all the right attributes to it, but I _hated_ the idea, so..."  
  
Malfoy was quiet for a while, absorbing what he had just heard.  
  
"Did I get this right?" he finally asked, slowly. "You would had been sorted into Slytherin but you insisted to be in Gryffindor instead?"  
  
Harry nodded, not looking at the other man. Instead his gaze was fixed on his feet.  
  
"Why did you do that? Do you know how different things would have been if you had been in Slytherin instead of Gryffindor..?" Malfoy's voice quietened down. "What we... could have been..."  
  
"You mean like... best friends?" Harry asked, giving a short laugh. " _Right..._ And then you and your other friends would have handed me straight to the Dark Lord the first moment you got the chance."  
  
Malfoy looked mortified. "I would _never_ do that to a friend of mine", he said, his voice cold. "You know that."  
  
"Maybe not now, but what about earlier?" Harry said. "And even if you hadn't, your father would have done it for you. It was much better this way." He could still feel Malfoy's eyes on him. "But, like I said, I guess the Sorting Hat was right. Thinking about my personality now and the way I've messed everything up and used people without thinking any further... I would have done well with you guys."  
  
He finally turned to face the Slytherin, seeing a sour look on the other man's face.  
  
"You do realize that you're implying all of us Slytherins are ruthless pricks?"  
  
Harry grimaced. "I didn't mean it like that", he said quickly. "But you have to admit that many of you are, so-"  
  
"Whatever", Malfoy cut him off, sighing tiredly. "If you've done your talking already, I'd like to get some sleep tonight, so if you don't mind...?" He got up and walked to his wardrobe next to the door and opened it, starting to undress himself sideways to Harry.  
  
Harry stood up too but didn't leave yet. He once again found himself staring. Malfoy slowly unbuttoned his black shirt and pulled it off, revealing his skinny body and skin as pale as the moon. _So beautiful,_ Harry found himself thinking. If only he could touch him...  
  
However, his face fell as he noticed some light patterns on Malfoy's skin. Before he even realized what he was doing he had already approached the Slytherin.  
  
"Malfoy, what are those-" He grabbed Malfoy's wrist tightly.  
  
"Hey! What the _hell_ do you think you're you doing?!" the Slytherin snapped in shock, trying to free himself.  
  
Harry turned the Slytherin around to see better. "...those-"  
  
His voice died as he found himself staring at Malfoy's upper body which was covered by seven large scars all over it. They were very light, well faded and healed but he could still see them clearly enough, and he didn't need to ask where they had come from. He knew.  
  
"Oh _god",_ he gasped, wide-eyed. "I'm... _I'm_ _so sorry._ "  
  
Malfoy, looking almost as shocked as Harry, quickly wrenched himself from Harry's grip, turning his back on him. With shaking hands he pulled his pyjama shirt on, starting to button it up.  
  
"I didn't know you have... scars", Harry muttered. "I thought Snape healed you. He said that he -"  
  
"He did", Malfoy said gravely. "He managed to prevent me from bleeding to death but there wasn't a way to completely erase the marks of the curse. Only my face was spared. The curse was... it was too powerful." His voice faded.  
  
Harry felt sick, sick of himself... He had never realized that his Sectumsempra-curse had caused that much damage. He remembered Malfoy's words from early November night: _'It's alright. Let bygones be bygones'_. How could Malfoy have forgiven him when his whole beautiful upper body was mauled like this and it was all because of _Harry_? Merlin, what had he done?  
  
"I'm so, so sorry", he said quietly. "I had no idea of all the damage I've caused you."  
  
Malfoy finished buttoning his shirt and started pulling his trousers off next, still his back turned towards Harry.  
  
"And I've already told you that I've forgiven you", he said quietly. He got rid of his trousers and started to pull his pyjama pants on instead. Harry's eyes shamelessly rested on the Slytherin's butt. He remembered how it had felt against his fingers last night, with no underpants on.  
  
"Weren't you supposed to go?" Harry heard Malfoy's strained voice say and he flinched.  
  
"Yeah. It's just that... I really am sorry... about _everything_ I've ever done to you", he said quietly. "I know I'm asking for a lot, but I really, really wish you could forgive me and... we could still be friends."  
  
Malfoy didn't answer. He had finished dressing to his pyjamas and closed the door of his wardrobe.  
  
"And still about that last night...", Harry continued. "I didn't want to-"  
  
 _"Don't"_ , Malfoy immediately silenced him. "What's done is done." He turned around and walked past Harry to his bed, sitting on it. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm tired as hell and I really need to sleep", he said, avoiding looking at him.  
  
"Right, I'll be going then... Good night, Malfoy."  
  
"Night."  
  
Giving the Slytherin one despondent glance, Harry left the room and headed to his own room where Ron was already deep asleep. He quickly changed to his pyjamas before taking off his glasses and burying himself under the blanket. A tremulous sigh escaped his mouth as he kept staring into emptiness. He had fucked up everything and there was no going back anymore.


	11. Chapter 11

The next weeks passed quickly and suddenly it was already the last week of the term before Christmas.

Harry was supposed to spend the Christmas at the Burrow with the Weasley family but he wasn't really looking forward to that. For Harry, the forthcoming winter break only meant not being able to see Malfoy for two long weeks.  
  
The friendship between Harry and Malfoy had gone almost back to normal over the last weeks. At least they still studied and hung out together like they had used to, but they didn't spend as much time together, just the two of them, like they had done earlier. Harry knew the reason for that. Though they hadn't even mentioned their night spent together anymore, he was well aware of the fact that neither of them had forgotten it. It was clearly still bothering both of them, but they just didn't dare to bring it up.  
  
Harry had been thinking about that night _a lot_. Every time he saw the blond Slytherin walking past him he remembered how his body had felt pressed against his. Every time Malfoy looked at him he remembered how his grey eyes had been filled with lust and something else that night. And when Malfoy was talking to him or laughing with his Slytherin friends, Harry remembered very clearly what kind of things those lips had been whispering to him that time. All the memories were enough to make him come almost every night by his own hand.  
  
  
If Harry still hadn't been entirely sure about his feelings towards the Slytherin, one evening totally ensured it.  
  
Ginny had finally managed to talk Harry into taking their relationship further and there they were, lying on Harry's bed in only their underwear, the door locked. Ron and Hermione had left for Hogsmeade a while ago and Harry and Ginny had decided to make use of the opportunity.  
  
Harry was lying on his back and Ginny was straddling him, looking at him with her brown eyes sparkling.  
  
Harry was staring at his girlfriend sitting on top of him, trying as hard as he could to get more excited about it. There was nothing wrong with Ginny. She was very beautiful and sexy with her red hair, oval shaped face, curved lashes, lots of cute freckles on her cheeks and nose and, of course, perky breasts. She was a real eye candy for any straight man, but for some reason Harry couldn't get to the mood _at all_ right now. Something was missing.  
  
Ginny must have noticed Harry's uncertain expression because her smile suddenly faded away. "What's wrong?" she asked, jutting her lower lip out in a pout.  
  
"Nothing", Harry hurried to say, forcing a silly smile to his face. "I was just caught up thinking how lucky I am."  
  
"Oh..." Ginny's face brightened to a smile and her cheeks flushed. "Really?"  
  
"Yeah", Harry answered gently, stroking a wisp of her red hair off her face with his fingers. "You are beautiful."  
  
Ginny's smile widened, and before Harry had any time to react, she had already smashed her lips against his mouth and kissed him hungrily. He quickly responded to the kiss, running his hands through her long hair. Ginny always managed to blow Harry's mind with her kissing skills, but on the other hand she had dated many guys so it was no wonder why she knew how to kiss so well.

Unlike Malfoy.  
  
His mind was immediately filled with Malfoy's full, soft, but still so powerful lips kissing him clumsily and those stormy grey eyes looking deep into his soul afterwards... Oh god, _yes..._  
  
"Mmm", he moaned in Ginny's mouth and grabbed her waist tightly, rolling them over. He was now kissing her fiercely, moving his hands downwards on her body. Ginny's legs opened as Harry's hand reached her underpants, and she gasped in exhilaration. Her own hand was already groping at Harry's groin, but there was no life to be found in there yet.  
  
Harry's eyes were still shut as he caressed the smooth surface of Ginny's underpants with his fingers, trying to think about _anything_ that would get him in the mood. He found it very disturbing that there was no bulge to be found, just flatness, nothing to free and grasp no matter how much he tried to search for it.  
  
"Oh, Harry...", Ginny purred as their lips parted, her hand slipping inside Harry's pants at the same time.  
  
Hearing a feminine voice under him made Harry finally open his eyes. He found himself staring into his girlfriend's brown, glimmering eyes and his face fell.  
  
"Harry? What's the matter?" she asked, her hand fumbling his bare manhood that was still not showing any signs of interest whatsoever.  
  
"I...", Harry mumbled, completely stunned. "I'm _sorry,_ Ginny. I... I don't think I can do this right now..."  
  
 _"What?!"_ Ginny gasped in shock, not able to believe her ears.  
  
Harry quickly detached himself off his girlfriend, taking a seat on the edge of the bed, back turned towards her.  
  
 _"What?!"_ he heard Ginny's voice say again as she was getting up too. "You can't... _wh-why?!_ " He noticed a riled up tone in her voice though she was still trying to stay calm.  
  
"There's nothing wrong with _you_ ", Harry said quietly. "It's me. I just... I just can't do this. I really am sorry."  
  
 _"Are you serious?!"_ Ginny snapped, not even trying to hide her annoyance anymore. "Do you realize how long I have waited, Harry? We've been together for _ages_ and now you're saying you can't do this?! I've been waiting for weeks, months, _years_ for this and you just... _can't_ do it?!"  
  
"I'm sorry, okay?!" Harry grunted. "I _can't_ do it. I don't know what's wrong but it just doesn't feel right."  
  
"Doesn't feel _right?"_ Ginny repeated. "What do you mean it doesn't feel right? I'm your girlfriend, Harry! How can it not _feel right_ to you?!" She was already pulling her clothes back on furiously, starting to sob.  
  
Harry let out a heavy sigh, burying his face in his hands. "I don't know, Ginny!" he said. "Like I said, there's nothing wrong with you, it's about me, I-"  
  
"I know that. No one has said no to sex with me before", Ginny said. She got her purple pullover on and swung her long hair irritably. "You know what I think? I think that maybe we should take a break for a while and ponder if this _'relationship'_ is going anywhere anymore."  
  
Harry turned to look at her, nonplussed. "You want to break up with me?!" he spluttered.  
  
Ginny shrugged her shoulders in frustration before starting to pull her trousers on. "I don't know, Harry! Whatever this thing is, it doesn't seem to work. This is not a normal relationship and you must have noticed that too. You agree with me, right?"  
  
There was a short silence between them.  
  
"I... guess you're right... Maybe we really should take a break. But... what about Christmas..?", Harry muttered. "We're leaving tomorrow and I was supposed to spend the whole holiday with you and your family and-"  
  
"I don't know", Ginny said, shaking her head. "I can't say you can't come but... I don't know if it's... uh... I know mum is waiting for you to join us and everything but... I don't know, okay! You have to think about it yourself."  
  
Harry took a deep breath, turning to stare at the wall again. "Perhaps it would be wise if I spent the holiday at Grimmauld Place instead..."  
  
"Perhaps", Ginny said. She was already standing in front of the door. "We r-really need to think this over and... it's not possible if we're both there with everyone else around all the time, you know..." Her voice was shaking.  
  
"Yeah, I know...", Harry said quietly. "I'm so sorry, Ginny..."  
  
"Me too", Ginny said, letting out a small sob. "I really care about you Harry... A lot more than I probably should... I spent years waiting but... I don't _know_ if we are meant to be together, after all..." Having finished her sentence she opened the door and left, now crying openly.  
  
Harry was left alone, staring at the wall with blank face. He didn't know what to do with his relationship with Ginny. He had hurt Ginny very badly and he felt terrible about it. He had never wanted to hurt anyone...  
  
Also, thinking of the coming holiday and having to spend it all alone felt devastating. Well, he knew that Ron and Hermione would be offering to spend part of it with him... but it didn't cheer him up at all. No, his winter break would be very lonely and depressing, there was no denying it.  
  
\---  
  
Later that night Harry was sitting alone at the dimly lit common room, staring at the already extinguished fire, drowning in his thoughts. He remembered the disappointment and hurt on Ginny's face when he had told him he couldn't sleep with her. Ginny had done the right thing suggesting for them to take a break. He should have done it himself a lot earlier but he hadn't been a man enough to do it. He had _really_ been a terrible boyfriend. How could he even be a good one when he didn't even know what he wanted anymore?  
  
"Can't sleep?"  
  
Harry startled, quickly glancing over his shoulder and saw the blond Slytherin standing few meters away from him, already wearing his black pyjamas.  
  
"No", he answered, turning towards the dead fireplace again.  
  
"Me neither..."  
  
It didn't take long before Malfoy had already joined him on the couch. Neither of them spoke for a long while, but it didn't bother Harry. He had too many things in his mind at the moment for him to feel awkward about something like that.  
  
"What's on your mind?" he finally heard Malfoy asking, waking him up from his thoughts.  
  
Harry gave a bleak laugh. "I don't even know where to start", he said.  
  
"How about starting from what happened between you and the Weasley girl today?"  
  
Harry raised his eyebrows. How did Malfoy know about his and Ginny's argument? They had been alone...  
  
Malfoy must have seen Harry's confusion because, seeking a sorry smile, he soon added: "I was just coming from the shower when I saw her rushing out of your room, crying."  
  
Harry ran a hand through his messy hair, letting out a sigh. Of course Malfoy had been there to see everything...  
  
Malfoy was eyeing him closely. "So... wanna share what that was about?"  
  
Harry shook his head. "Uh... not really", he said. "But..." He paused, hesitating. "We are... taking a break."  
  
Malfoy's eyes widened. _"Oh,_ really?" he asked. If Harry hadn't known better, he would have thought that the Slytherin was actually pleased to hear that. Malfoy's tone changed quickly though. "I mean... I'm sorry for you", he added quietly.  
  
"It might not be final", Harry said. "We just need to think if this is going anywhere so it's the best solution for now. It is possible that we'll still carry on but... who knows." He took a more comfortable posture, resting his head against the back of the couch. He could feel Malfoy staring at him. "It's just too bad that we made the decision today."  
  
"And why is that?" Malfoy asked.  
  
"Well... I was supposed to leave tomorrow and spend the whole holiday at the Weasley's but now..." He paused, letting out a tired yawn. "...it's going to be a very depressing Christmas for me, it seems."  
  
"You're staying here for Christmas _too?"_ Malfoy asked and Harry turned to look at the Slytherin, surprised.  
  
"What do you mean? Aren't you going home for Christmas?" he asked.  
  
Malfoy shook his head slowly, seeming a little tense. "Not this year, no", he sighed. "Mom's not well so she's not home and I don't feel like spending the whole Christmas break alone at the manor, so... I guess I'm staying here. Not the kind of Christmas I was hoping for, but what can you do."  
  
Harry noticed a melancholic look in the Slytherin's eyes and immediately got worried. "What do you mean your mom's not well?" he asked carefully. "You don't mean she's..."  
  
"She's not dying", Malfoy answered quietly, hesitating for a while before continuing: "She's... sick in the head. Mentally ill... Whatever you wanna call it. She's not safe alone."  
  
"Oh... I'm sorry, I didn't know about that...", Harry said, setting his hand on Malfoy's shoulder.  
  
Malfoy gave him a sad smile. "That's because no one knows. I haven't told anyone. Except Greg. I tell him almost everything", he said. "And the people at the hospital know of course. She's been there for a week now."  
  
Harry didn't know what to say, so he just found himself rubbing the Slytherin's shoulder softly with his thumb.  
  
"She's been feeling down ever since my father ended up in Azkaban", Malfoy still continued. "There are good days and there are bad days but... let's just say that lately there's been a lot of very, _very_ bad ones, so it's best for her to not be home alone right now." He sighed heavily and paused for a while. "It runs in the blood I think... the sickness", he finally continued. "You know aunt Bellatrix and how crazy _she_ was..."  
  
"Well, she also spent most of her life in Azkaban, so it must have affected her", Harry pointed out.  
  
"I know", Malfoy said. "But it is a fact that there used to be some sort of inbreeding going on in many of the Pureblood families, and especially in the Black family, my mother's side, so..."  
  
"Malfoy, your mom is not _crazy_ ", Harry said quickly, flashing a gentle smile. "She's just become _ill_ because of all the bad things that happened to her family. That's all."  
  
"Yeah, maybe...", Malfoy sighed. "But, anyway, I don't have any other family or anyone else to spend the Christmas with, so I guess I'll have to stay here."  
  
"Well, there's two of us loners then", Harry said. "I don't have a family at all, and now I can't go to the Burrow either, so..."  
  
"You're staying here too?" Malfoy asked, not able to fully hide his hopefulness.  
  
Harry was unsure of what to say. He had already decided to go to Grimmauld Place but seeing the look on Malfoy's face... Damn it...  
  
"Well, to be honest with you, I had already planned to go to my place in London", he said.  
  
"You mean the Black family's old house?" Malfoy asked. Harry noticed that he was looking slightly disappointed.  
  
"Yeah, the one I've told you about, Grimmauld Place", Harry explained. "But uh... I guess I can still change my plans and stay here. That's fine. Unless..." His eyes widened a bit as he came up with a different solution.  
  
"Unless?"  
  
"Unless you'd like to...", Harry started, hesitating. It felt embarrassing to ask. "...you know... come with me?"  
  
Malfoy blinked. _"Seriously?"_ he asked, clearly stunned. "You're asking me to..." His voice faded.  
  
Harry nodded. "Yeah. Only if you want to, of course", he said, babbling. "The place is still a bit disorganized and dusty since I haven't been home a lot and it's _definitely_ not your style so I don't know if you'd enjoy yourself there and I -"  
  
"I'd love to come with you", Malfoy cut him off, much to Harry's amazement. He had a tiny smile on his beautiful lips.  
  
"Really?" Harry asked. He had not expected Malfoy to really want to go with him, at least not after everything that had happened between them earlier.  
  
"Really", Malfoy answered. "I can't wait to see where you live. And the Black family's heritage, of course."  
  
There was a short silence between them, until Harry finally started to shake with laughter.  
  
"What's so funny?" Malfoy asked, somewhere in between being amused and irritated.  
  
"It's just that... Well, just think about it", Harry chuckled. "The two of us spending the whole Christmas and two weeks together. Who would have thought it would happen?"  
  
"I know", Malfoy said, grimacing dramatically. "It's fucking crazy! And the saddest thing of all is that I'm kind of looking forward to it. I mean, how pathetic is _that?!"_ He winked at Harry and they both grinned.  
  
\---  
  
"You're spending the Christmas with _him?!_ "  
  
Harry, Ron and Hermione were on the train travelling towards London and Harry had just revealed his friends his plans for the next two weeks.  
  
"Yes", Harry answered to Ron. "I know how crazy it sounds but... that's the plan."  
  
He had initially planned not to tell his friends at all but had come to have second thoughts about it.  
  
"It _is_ crazy", Ron said. "I know we get along with him these days, but... he's _still_ the same git who used to be an arse to us, you know."  
  
Hermione, however, didn't seem shocked like Ron. She seemed to be taking Harry's news pretty well.  
  
 _"I_ think Harry's done the right thing", she said, surprising both Harry and Ron with her words. "They were both supposed to spend the Christmas on their own, so it's nicer to spend it together, right?"  
  
Ron was eyeing Hermione sceptically for a while, until his eyes fixed on Harry again instead. "Why would Malfoy even have to spend the Christmas alone?"  
  
"I can't tell you", Harry said without delay. Seeing Ron frowning at him, he added: "It's private."  
  
Ron had a slightly peevish expression on his face as he was staring at Harry.  
  
"Since _when_ have you been keeping secrets from us?" he asked. "Come on, Harry. We are your friends, you can tell us _anything._ We promise we won't tell anyone."  
  
Harry, however, was shaking his head. He was not going to let Malfoy down by gossiping about her mother's illness.  
  
"I already told you, Ron. It's private", he said.  
  
"Fine. Don't bother telling your best friend about it", Ron said, snorting in indignation.  
  
Hermione wrinkled her brows at him. "You're being childish, Ron. If Harry's made a promise to Malfoy, he should keep it."  
  
Harry flashed a quick, grateful smile at her, turning his head to stare out of the window next.  
  
He still couldn't believe he was going to spend his Christmas break with Malfoy, either. The most confusing thing was that he didn't even feel disappointed in not being able to spend Christmas at the Burrow anymore. No, he was happy to be with Malfoy instead of the Weasleys. Two forthcoming weeks, just the two of them, at his place... Damn, his stomach was tingling with excitement just thinking about it.  
  
"Ginny won't be pleased to hear about your company", Ron said.  
  
Harry turned to look at his friends again. "Please don't tell her", he said instantly. "I don't want her to get any more pissed at me, so... _please?"_  
  
Ron and Hermione glanced at each other.  
  
"Okay, we'll try not to tell her", Hermione finally said. "We don't want her to be upset the whole Christmas break."  
  
"Come to think of it, you don't seem very displeased yourself", Ron remarked at Harry, squinting his eyes. "It's almost as if you were _happy_ to spend the holiday with him."  
  
"Gosh, Ron", Harry sighed heavily. "I'm happy to get out of the school for a while after all that studying, okay? Is that not allowed? Don't wanna waste the whole holiday sulking..."  
  
Ron let out another exasperated sigh.  
  
"Of course it's allowed, Harry", Hermione said. "Just ignore Ron. He's just disappointed you're not coming and going to be with Malfoy instead. He's jealous."  
  
 _"I'm not!"_ Ron snarled.  
  
"Well if that's the case, you can always visit during the break if you want to?" Harry suggested, shrugging his shoulders. "Or we can meet somewhere for a coffee or something."  
  
"Right. We'll do that", Hermione said with a happy smile.  
  
\---  
  
An hour later they had finally reached the King's Cross train station. Harry waited until he saw the Weasley family leaving (he didn't want Ginny to see him leaving with Malfoy), before he finally moved on. He soon saw the blond Slytherin standing at the other end of the station, dressed in his long, black winter coat. Malfoy was looking a little worried and abashed, glancing in every possible direction, searching for Harry. Harry realized that Malfoy must have seen Ron and Hermione already leaving without Harry.  
  
"Hey!" Harry greeted as he reached the Slytherin.  
  
"Oh! There you are, Harry", Malfoy gasped, looking relieved. "I thought you forgot about me."  
  
Harry found himself staring at the taller man, dazed. Had he heard right? Had Malfoy just... "Did you just... call me _Harry_ for the first time?" he asked slowly.  
  
"Well, I figured that since we're going to spend the Christmas together at your place, perhaps it’s time for us to finally be on first-name basis as well..."  
  
Malfoy gave him a bashful smile, making Harry feel weak in his knees. He was looking at the Slytherin's beautiful smile, feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. Damn how much he loved that smile.  
  
"I like that", he answered, flashing a smile back. "So, you ready to go, _Draco_?"  
  
"Yes." Malfoy's grey eyes glittered as they turned to leave, side by side. Harry had a feeling that this Christmas was going to be a good one after all. He had no doubt about it anymore.


	12. Chapter 12

Harry had thought that Draco would dislike being at Grimmauld Place because, after all, Draco was a very neat, meticulous and systematic person. However, Harry was surprised to see that the Slytherin actually seemed to enjoy being there, or then he just didn't let his dislike show. Draco was looking like he felt right at home.  
  
The only thing that seemed to have come as a shock to the Slytherin was the lack of house-elves.  
  
"You don't have any house-elves?" he asked when Harry was leaving to buy some food from a convenience store the evening they arrived.  
  
"Not anymore", Harry answered, pulling his coat on. "I had one earlier, Kreacher, but nowadays he's working at Hogwarts."  
  
"You mean we have to do everything here by ourselves?" Draco ensured.  
  
"Yep", Harry said blithely, grinning at the shocked look on the other man's face. "You've never cooked before?"  
  
Draco shook his head and Harry wasn't surprised at all. He knew there were house-elves at the Malfoy Manor, Dobby had been one of them before Harry had set him free from their service.  
  
"Don't worry", he said with a smile on his lips, starting to button up his coat. "You're lucky because _I'm_ used to cooking. I had to do it all the time at the muggle family I lived with." Seeing the sudden, thrilled look on Draco's face he quickly added: "Don't expect anything gourmet though. Just ordinary everyday food. It’s not like I’m a chef or anything."  
  
"Well as long as we get some food it's all that matters to me", Draco said.  
  
  
After Harry returned home he started to prepare them dinner in the kitchen and Draco surprised Harry by participating as well. Well, actually the Slytherin just stood close to Harry and watched attentively what he was doing at the time.  
  
"Why are you not using any magic?" Draco had asked him in the beginning, when Harry had been cutting fish with a knife. "We are not underage anymore." Underage wizards were not allowed to use any magic during holiday's but since they were already adults they were able to use it as much as they liked, as long as they followed the rules when using it.  
  
"I don't know. I guess I just like to cook the muggle way", Harry had answered with a shrug. "It's nice."  
  
"It looks fun but... _intricate_ ", Draco had commented, his eyes following Harry's hands closely.  
  
"It's not difficult at all. Not much different from preparing ingredients for potions, you know", Harry had said. Flashing a supportive smile at Draco, he had offered a knife to the Slytherin, asking: "Do you want to try as well?"  
  
Draco's eyes had been lingering on Harry's lips for a while before he’d answered: "Nah, I'll just watch this time. I don't want to ruin our dinner."  
  
"You wouldn't ruin it, Draco", Harry had said warmly, still smiling. "I've seen you at Potions class. You're always so precise and diligent."  
  
The Slytherin had smiled back at Harry and just stood there the whole time, just watching as he prepared their dinner from beginning to end.  
  
  
When the dinner was finally ready, they sat across to each other in the dining room and Harry was pleased to see that Draco – who usually didn't eat much at school – was now eating Harry's cooking with a good appetite. He smiled by himself.  
  
"Well, how does it taste like?" he finally asked as Draco had already devoured over half of the food on his plate.  
  
"It's... decent", the Slytherin answered in his common, belittling way, but Harry wasn't fooled. He smiled again, his eyes following as every piece of food on Draco's plate slowly disappeared to the Slytherin's mouth. Seeing the other man wolfing down the dinner he had prepared warmed his heart.  
  
  
After they finished eating, Draco went to his own room (Harry had given him one of the biggest rooms that had used to be Regulus' when he himself intended to sleep in Sirius' room on the same floor) and Harry went to the living room in order to watch some television. The wizards didn't usually watch television but Harry was not an ordinary one. Having spent his early life with the Dursleys he had always wished to be able to have his own TV - Dudley had had three televisions at best and Harry none, so now when he was finally living on his own, he had wanted to get one for himself.  
  
He was browsing through the different TV channels but didn't find anything interesting to watch so he ended up with some action movie. It wasn't his style of choice but since there wasn't anything better either, he had to settle for it.  
  
He had been watching the film for half an hour already when he heard the Slytherin's confused voice behind the couch he was sitting on.  
  
"What's happening?"  
  
"You mean what's this thing?" Harry asked, pointing towards the TV. "This, Draco, is a television." He turned to look at the other man.  
  
"I assume it is another one of those muggle things you've been talking about?" Draco muttered.  
  
"Yeah. You can watch all sort of stuff with it. News, movies, TV shows, documentaries..." He knew from Draco's expression that the other man didn't have the slightest idea what Harry was talking about. "My cousin used to have three of these and I always wanted one of my own as well. And now I finally have one." He let out a short laugh before gesturing at the couch for Draco to join him. "Join me?"  
  
Draco, who was looking a little timid, slowly walked to the couch and sat next to Harry. They were sitting in silence for a good while. Draco's eyes were fixed on the TV screen where people were shooting towards each other with guns, dodging bullets and yelling at each other. Harry, instead, found himself looking at the Slytherin, smiling and trying to suppress a laugh because of the baffled look on his face.  
  
"What _the hell_ is this?" the Slytherin finally managed to ask, his arms crossed.  
  
"It's an action movie called GoldenEye. About a guy called James Bond who's an agent. These are very popular films among muggles", Harry explained.  
  
 _"Seriously?"_ the blond asked, looking astounded. "Why on earth would people want to watch something like this?"  
  
Harry shrugged. "I don't know. They just do", he said. "Not my first choice, though."  
  
Draco looked at the remote control that Harry was holding in his hand. "What's that?" he asked.  
  
"A remote control. You can switch from one channel to another with this", Harry explained. It felt so weird that Draco had no clue about anything that was so very familiar to himself, but he didn't mind explaining.  
  
"There are many channels?" the Slytherin asked, raising his eyebrow.  
  
"Yeah. Would you like me to switch?"  
  
"What do you think", Draco said dryly, rolling his eyes.  
  
Harry did as told. He kept switching the channels, following Draco's expressions as he did the surfing. He laughed quietly to himself at Draco's slightly flushed face when there was suddenly a kissing couple on the screen.  
  
"I don't get it. Why do those muggles let other people watch their intimate stuff?" he asked.  
  
Harry's body was shaking of restrained laughter. "Because they are actors, Draco", he finally said. "It's just a TV show. They get paid for making these shows."  
  
"They get paid for kissing and..." Draco paused, his cheeks turning slightly red as the couple started to lessen each other's clothes as well. "...making out in front of everyone?"  
  
"Well, kind of", Harry answered. "It's their job. They make quite a lot of money of it."  
  
Draco was shaking his head, mouth slightly open. "That's twisted", he said, turning his eyes towards the remote control again. "What else is there?"  
  
  
They finally ended up watching some comedy film together, eating the snacks that Harry had bought from the store at the same time. Draco seemed to be slowly getting used to the television thing and he concentrated on it entirely. Harry, however, found himself being more interested in watching Draco than the movie. He just couldn't help it.  
  
Draco was sitting in a relaxed position, once again dressed in entirely black clothes that enhanced his gorgeous body all too well. His hair wasn't as groomed as it had been earlier today, it was already hanging loosely around his face and Harry loved that look. He remembered how attractive Draco had looked the morning after their sexual encounter few weeks ago, his hair all messy. As much as he loved the way that Draco always put effort to his looks, he also loved seeing him all natural which didn't happen very often. Draco was always beautiful in Harry's eyes.  
  
Draco chuckled at the movie, quickly glancing towards Harry before returning his attention to the television again. Harry turned his attention to the TV as well, trying hard to concentrate on the film again, but no matter how much he tried, he couldn't keep his eyes from wandering back to the Slytherin from time to time. He took another crisp from the bowl between them, watching the other man from the corner of his eye.  
  
Damn it, Draco looked so hot in the flickering lights of the television. Harry was all too aware of the fact that this time there was no one else in the house, just the two of them, and they would be able to do anything they wanted without no one knowing or hearing. His stomach lurched at the thought. Damn but he wanted the other man.  
  
His eyes followed as Draco was slowly moving his hand a little closer, about to grab another snack. He pretended not to notice the Slytherin's hand and deliberately stretched his own hand to the bowl at the same time, causing their fingers to touch.  
  
The touch gave him chills. He could see Draco's body twitching as well from the corner of his eye and his eyes fixing on him. Harry himself turned his full attention to the TV. Draco grabbed a snack and pulled his hand away, but Harry could still sense the Slytherin's eyes on him for a while after, making him smile by himself. Draco's reaction was just the one he had been hoping for.  
  
He turned to glance at the Slytherin who was now watching the TV again, noticing that the blond didn't look relaxed anymore. His posture had stiffened and he looked a little tense. Harry saw the Adam's apple bobbing in the Slytherin's throat before he turned to face him. Harry felt need filling him. He wanted to kiss and touch Draco so bad that he had a hard time to not lunge at him right in that very moment.  
  
His thoughts were cut off by remembering Draco's words from weeks ago about Harry messing with Draco's head. Was he going to do it again by letting his lust take control like this? Some things had changed since that time but it was a fact that Harry was still in a relationship with Ginny, that hadn't changed, even though they were having a break at the moment. Harry hadn't decided what he was going to do with Ginny yet. He didn't want to hurt her and he didn't want to hurt Draco either. Besides he wasn't even sure of what Draco felt towards him either, because he hadn't even dared to talk about his _own_ feelings.  
  
And he had very strong feelings towards the man, it was clear as a day, but he didn't know how to tell him without scaring him away. Harry was afraid of possibly ruining everything by acting too fast and eagerly all of a sudden. He didn’t want to mess things up more than he already once had. This was not a right moment to act.  
  
He broke the eye contact and turned towards the TV screen again. He knew he'd have to talk about his feelings sooner or later... but not tonight. He would do it _later._ After all, they were going to spend the next two weeks together at his place with no one else around. He would have plenty of time to think about everything and find the right words to say and, of course, gather some more courage.  
  
\---  
  
They spent the next morning shopping for the last minute Christmas gifts and Harry was positively surprised that Draco was a great help for him. With the Slytherin's help he found proper gifts for Ron and Hermione quite quickly, but he still didn't have any idea what to buy for Ginny. Draco wasn't offering him any help with that one.  
  
"That one you'll have to figure out all by yourself", the Slytherin said. "I've still got one gift to buy as well anyway, so..."  
  
"Well, let's go get that one first, then", Harry said.  
  
Draco, however, shook his head. "I have to buy this one on my own", he said. "Let's meet here in an hour, okay?"  
  
Harry nodded, watching with furrowed brows as the Slytherin flashed a small smile at him and walked away.  
  
He soon found himself roaming aimlessly around the streets, trying to come up with anything to buy. What the hell was he supposed to give Ginny as a gift? He didn't know what Ginny needed or was even expecting from him. No matter how much he tried, he couldn't think of anything at all. He didn't even know if they would continue their relationship or not, and that made it even harder to buy anything.  
  
It took him almost an hour before in the end he just ended up buying her a large silver hair clasp and a box of different chocolates. As he was walking along the street towards the place they had agreed to meet with Draco, he suddenly slowed down. Shit. He hadn't bough anything for Draco yet.  
  
He already saw the Slytherin standing at the appointed place, back towards him. He wanted to give the man something, but... what was he supposed to give to the man that he had fallen for? Harry sighed in frustration.  
  
Draco already had everything he needed, his family was very rich and he’d always gotten everything he needed or wanted from his parents. Also, he knew that Draco had a very expensive taste in clothes, decorations and school supplies. Harry was clueless and feeling a little down. He wanted to give the Slytherin something special but what would it be?  
  
His lips finally turned to a smile as he remembered something. Uncle Vernon had once taken Petunia to a restaurant for Christmas dinner without Harry and Dudley when Harry had been 9 years old. For the first time in his life he was glad that he had lived with the Dursley's. He would take Draco to a muggle restaurant for Christmas dinner. Yeah, that would definitely do.  
  
"Ready to go?" he asked as he reached Draco.  
  
The other man turned his head to Harry. "Yeah", he said. "Did you come up with anything or do you need more time?"  
  
Harry nodded. "I did. What about you, did you find what you went looking for?"  
  
Draco's lips curved up to a smile. "Yes", he said. "Let's go back to your place."  
  
\---  
  
Later that day Harry cooked another dinner for them. Once again Draco ate everything till the last crumb and Harry smiled by himself. It seemed that he wasn't so bad of a cook at all, after all, since his food was good enough for Draco Malfoy of all people. Well, he had been forced to cook a lot for Dursley's and do all kinds of other housework, so that explained something.  
  
After they had eaten he decided to go visit the graveyard where his parents were buried. After all, it was the evening before Christmas.  
  
"Where are you going?" Draco asked and followed Harry to the hallway when he saw him pulling his coat on again.  
  
"Godric's Hollow", Harry answered. Draco raised his eyebrow questioningly and Harry added: "To see my parents."  
  
 _"Oh...",_ Draco said quietly. His face became serious and his eyes followed as Harry finished buttoning up his coat.  
  
"I'm going to apparate so I won't be long", Harry said. He had already turned towards the door and was about to leave when he heard Draco's voice again.  
  
"Can I... come with you?" the Slytherin asked.  
  
Harry turned to glance at the other man, not able to believe his ears. "You want to come too?" he asked.  
  
Draco gave a nod. "Do you mind if I come?" he asked.  
  
Harry, totally flustered, shook his head slowly. "Of course not", he said with a tiny smile on his lips.  
  
  
Once they were out of the house, Harry apparated them to Godric's Hollow.  
  
They arrived to the graveyard where they spent a good while just standing in silence in front of the headstone that had been engraved with his parents dates of birth and death, and the message: _'The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death.'_  
  
For the first time in his life Harry found himself crying silently in Draco's company, and Draco wasn't laughing at him. Instead of laughing, the Slytherin wrapped his arm around Harry's shoulder and simply held him close, comforting him.  
  
Harry hadn't known that it would be possible for him to fall even more for Draco, but that moment proved that he had been so wrong. Harry felt warm and safe in the Slytherin's arms, and he wished that he would never have to leave. He wanted to stay nestled in the other man's arms like this forever.  
  
"Many people have said that I look a lot like my father", he said quietly, wanting to break the long silence between them some way.  
  
"I've heard that too", Draco said, finally letting go of him. "I've also heard that you've inherited your personality from him."  
  
"I guess part of that is true", Harry said, crouching down to the ground to light up a candle with his wand.  
  
"He used to be a madcap too?" Draco teased.  
  
Harry smirked at the comment. "Yeah... From what I've heard he was reckless, fiery, always breaking the rules as much as he could..."  
  
"Sounds just like you", Draco commented with a chuckle.  
  
"But some people have also said that I have my mother's benevolence," Harry said, still in the ground. "And her eyes. They were the same green as mine."  
  
A short silence fell over until he could hear Draco mumbling almost inaudibly: "I... kinda like their colour."  
  
Harry's heart skipped a beat. "What?" he asked, finally getting up and turning his head to glance at the other man.  
  
"Your eyes", the Slytherin said, avoiding eye contact. "They're very rare and... nice."  
  
Harry felt his cheeks flushing a little. Draco Malfoy had just admitted that he liked his eyes. It was the first time that the Slytherin had complimented anything about his looks. Draco often kept ragging about Harry's messy hair and his lack of taste in clothes, so it really did melt his heart to hear something like that coming from the other man's mouth.  
  
"Unlike mine", Draco added.  
  
"That's not true, you know", Harry said without missing a beat. "Your eyes are very nice too."  
  
Draco lifted his gaze, looking at him with an unreadable look on his pale face. "Really? You think so?"  
  
"Yeah", Harry said with a nod and a small smile on his lips.  
  
Draco just stared at him for a while until a tiny, uneasy smile appeared on his lips too. "Uh... thanks, Harry", he said.  
  
Once again, having heard his first name from the other man's mouth and looking into his beautiful eyes, Harry had a sudden urge to grab the Slytherin by his shoulders, pull him close and kiss him like no tomorrow. This would be the perfect moment. However, the moment he was about to do it, the blond had already broken their eye contact and lowered his gaze to his feet again, spoiling the moment between them. Harry felt disappointed.  
  
  
Afterwards they walked slowly around the Godric's Hollow for almost an hour and finally stopped in front of Harry's parents' old house. Harry had been there with Hermione once earlier but he had wanted to come again.  
  
The house was in ruins and looked even worse than the last time he had seen it.  
  
"So this is...", Draco started quietly but was not able to finish his sentence.  
  
"Where my parents got killed and I got this scar. It was Halloween 1981."  
  
"You were only one year old...", Draco murmured.  
  
Harry nodded, staring at the ruins gravely. "Yeah...", he said. He could feel the other man's eyes on him again as they just stood there in deep silence.  
  
"I'm sorry", Draco finally said. "It's so terrible and... I can't believe I chose to be on his side after everything he had done." He paused before still adding: "Harry, I... I'm so, so sorry." Harry could see the Slytherin's lips quivering.  
  
Harry let out a sigh. "Don't", he said, forcing a sad smile to his lips. "I've already said it a thousand times and I really mean it. I don't blame you."  
  
"If I could take everything back, I really would, you know", Draco continued. "If I had a chance to go back, I would never join Voldemort. I would fight by your side."  
  
"I know, Draco", Harry said, lifting his hand on the other man's shoulder. " _I know._ I forgave you long ago already. You don't owe me anything."  
  
"I do, a lot", Draco objected, staring at his feet. "You even saved me from the Fiendfyre, risking your life for me... I still don't know why you did it. I didn't _deserve_ it." His voice was cracking.  
  
Harry flashed a tiny smile to the other man. "I would do it all again any time", he said softly, moving his hand to caress the silky platinum hair with his fingers.  
  
The Slytherin lifted his gaze from the ground and turned to him instead, their eyes meeting again and gathering all the courage he had, Harry cupped Draco's cheeks, holding the Slytherin's grey, melancholic gaze in his own green one. This time he would not let Draco get away.  
  
"I would do anything for you, Draco", he said quietly.  
  
They stared at each other for a while before in an unspoken agreement they both leaned closer, closing the short distance between them.  
  
The warmth spread throughout Harry's entire body as their lips touched and started to move against each other, first very softly, then more passionately. Their lips were moving in a perfect sync, so intimate and electrifying.  
  
Draco's mouth felt so warm in the chilly night and his hands were wrapped tightly around Harry's waist, his own hands being locked around the Slytherin's neck. He could feel the beating of Draco's heart against his chest and hear him moan to his mouth as he deepened the kiss, pulling the other man as close as he could.  
  
The world around them disappeared, leaving only him and Draco. Their years of intense rivalry, unexplainable obsession towards each other, all that weird tension and chemistry, the coincidences, everything that had ever happened between them... It had all been meant to lead into this. Draco was and had always been the missing half to make him whole.  
  
Harry didn't know how long they just stood there embracing and kissing each other, but when their lips finally parted, Draco's beautiful eyes were sparkling as their gazes locked again.  
  
"Should we head back home?" Harry asked, caressing the Slytherin's face with his thumb.  
  
"Yes", Draco said.  
  
Harry wrapped his arms tightly around the Slytherin, apparating them back to Grimmauld Place.


	13. Chapter 13

After the door of the 12 Grimmauld Place closed behind them, Harry instantly found himself being pressed against the nearest wall in the hallway.  
  
Harry's fingers gripped Draco's silky hair as they were kissing each other passionately. He could smell the delicious, alluring scent of the other man's cologne, he could feel the other man's perfect body against him, he could feel his heart almost exploding in his chest... He had never felt desire like this before.  
  
Draco's hands were already working on the buttons of Harry's winter coat the same time they were kissing, trying to get rid of the offending garment as fast as he could. Harry didn't mind. As his coat was soon thrown away somewhere, he moved his own hands to Draco's coat, trying to get rid of that, too. It didn't take long before he had finished unbuttoning it and let it drop to their feet.  
  
Harry's hands were immediately all over the Slytherin's perfect, slender upper body that was covered by dark green shirt. Draco was kissing him hard, his lips almost crushing Harry's mouth by all that power, fingers tangled in his messy hair, and he could feel that the Slytherin was already hard as a rock, his erection pressed against Harry's abdomen.  
  
Harry held the Slytherin even closer against him, keeping his eyes tightly closed, and fully concentrated his thoughts to his room. It only took few flashes before they had already apparated to Sirius's old bedroom at the fourth floor, falling to the bed and kissing each other even more eagerly than before.  
  
Harry, who was lying on top, was moving his hands on Draco's body, ravenously getting rid of all the remaining clothing still covering it. Draco soon followed his example.  
  
A voice in Harry's head kept trying to stop him, telling him to slow down, but he didn't want to listen. He knew he was still technically in a relationship with Ginny and he knew he had decided to take things slow with Draco this time… but he wanted the Slytherin too much to care about anything else right now. He wanted to _own_ him.  
  
It didn't take long until they both were already naked except their still remaining underpants. Harry was moving his lips everywhere on Draco's beautiful upper body, loving the view and scent. He was sucking and biting on the Slytherin's neck, this time without a doubt leaving marks on it. He was licking and sucking Draco's nipples and kissing Draco's chest, moving his lips and tongue along the scars. The Slytherin was gasping and moaning under him all the time, his body trembling with want.  
  
Their positions were soon reversed as Draco suddenly decided to roll them around and kiss him hard, starting to move his lips along Harry’s body next. Harry didn't mind at all. Draco's eagerness aroused him more than anything. The other man's lips were kissing every part of his upper body, giving him shivers.  
  
"Your body is amazing", the Slytherin broke the silence, muttering against Harry's abs.  
  
"Really?" Harry managed to gasp.  
  
"Mm hmm", Draco said, moving even lower on his body. Harry's underpants were soon lowered and fingers were closing around his hard cock. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this to you", Harry heard him whispering.  
  
"W-what-", he gasped as Draco took his erection deep in his mouth. "Ah, fuck! _Draco!_ "  
  
Harry was in heaven. His shaking hands moved to Draco's silky platinum hair as his dirtiest fantasies came true. Draco Malfoy, his old arch nemesis, was sucking his cock, and had wanted to do it for a long time already? Blimey... He lifted his upper body a little to be able to see better how Draco's lips moved up and down on his hard member, causing him so much pleasure that he had never imagined to be possible, and when Draco finally opened his eyes and glanced at him with his stormy grey eyes... Merlin.  
  
He laid back down again, moaning, twisting and turning on the sheets as the Slytherin was offering him the sweetest and kinkiest experience of his life ever. Draco was working on him so well that it was hard to believe that he didn't have any prior experience in this kind of stuff.  
  
Only after a minute or so, Harry was already getting very close. Draco's lips and tongue were moving on his member so pleasurably that his whole body was trembling uncontrollably and his hands were squeezing the sheets so hard his knuckles were white. How could Draco be so damn good at this?!  
  
"Draco..." he groaned. "If you don't stop right now... I swear I'm gonna come..."  
  
Draco glanced at Harry and seeing the look on his face immediately stopped what he had been doing. Harry was panting, his body still shaking, his slightly opened eyes following as the Slytherin slowly moved closer again. Their eyes met.  
  
"I want you, Draco", he gasped, caressing the other man's face with his fingers.  
  
"What are you waiting for then?" the Slytherin whispered against his lips, eyes dark with desire. "Just fucking _take me."_  
  
Harry felt a thrill course through his body and closed the gap between them. He kissed the other man roughly, slipping his tongue inside Draco's warm mouth again. Oh sweet mother of Merlin... Draco wanted him. The classy, breathtaking, always so _critical_ Draco Malfoy wanted to be taken by him, by Harry. He was definitely the luckiest man on the entire planet.  
  
He rolled them around again and moved his hands lower on the other man's body, finally getting rid of his underwear. Draco's member was soon freed and he wrapped his fingers around it, loving the feeling of it in his hand. He was so excited of finally getting what he had been dreaming of for a long time.  
  
The only thing that bothered him was that he had never slept with anyone else before. He was so inexperienced and he knew very little about sex between two men. He knew something about sex with girls but this... this was a very different case. He was afraid of making a total fool out of himself in front of Draco. Or even worse: hurting him. He did not want to cause any pain to the man he had learned to care about so much. Draco had already suffered enough because of him.  
  
He was kissing the Slytherin's throat now, inhaling the beautiful scent of his skin and moving his hand on the blond's cock at the same time. Draco kept whining desperately under him.  
  
"Draco?" he finally breathed against the beautiful pale skin.  
  
"Huh?" the panting Slytherin asked with a weak voice.  
  
"I... don't want to hurt you...", Harry mumbled, lifting his head to meet the other man's eyes.  
  
"You won't hurt me", Draco answered. "Got any lube here?"  
  
Harry, feeling a little embarrassed, shook his head. He wasn't prepared for stuff like this at all.  
  
However, before he even realized what was happening, Draco had already muttered out a a weird spell that Harry had never heard before, and was soon offering him his palm with some colourless lotion on it.  
  
Harry, feeling very horny but also confused, moved lower on Draco's body, and took some of the lube in his hand. He was about to ask Draco to spread his legs a bit but before he had time to do it, Draco had already turned around and opened up his legs slightly for him without asking.  
  
Harry felt his heart hammering in his chest. Damn. He had been dreaming of this for so long, but now that it was finally happening, he was feeling _so_ nervous. He didn't get it. He was Harry Potter, the one who had killed Voldemort, but still he was feeling nervous about something like this?  
  
He took a deep breath, trying to get a hold of his nerves, moistened his fingers well with the lube and slowly pressed one of them against Draco's entrance, pushing it in.  
  
Draco gasped as Harry's finger entered and started to move inside him and Harry felt amazed. The Slytherin felt so damn tight around his finger that he was pretty sure he would end up hurting him tonight after all, even if he did go very slow. He would just have to do his best.  
  
Harry soon added another finger and started twisting his fingers inside Draco, the other man shivering and gasping under him as he prepared him the best way he could.  
  
"Ah, Harry", the Slytherin breathed, making Harry's cock twitch. Hearing Draco's voice and seeing the sight in front of him was really making him horny as hell. He wanted the Slytherin _so badly._ He kept twisting and turning his fingers inside for a good while, listening to the other man’s whining, and finally moved his other hand to his cock, lubricating it at the same time with the rest of the lube that was still left in his hand.  
  
"Ready for more?" he asked.  
  
"Yes", Draco answered weakly.  
  
Harry pulled his fingers back, looking down at the panting man who was still resting on his stomach.  
  
"Then turn around", he said, making the Slytherin glance at him with a slightly confused look on his face. "I want to see your face", Harry explained.  
  
The Slytherin did as told, turning around to lie on his back instead. Harry immediately crawled on top of him, positioning himself in between Draco's long legs. His erection was soon pressed against the entrance, ready for the action.  
  
The Slytherin's grey eyes were looking deep into his own. "Fuck me, Harry. I want you so much", the blond breathed.  
  
"Here you go", Harry replied, slowly pushing himself inside. Draco cried out and Harry's eyes closed as he felt the other man's hot tightness surrounding him.  
  
"Blimey, Draco", he breathed and slightly opened his eyes, meeting Draco's gaze. "You're so fucking tight. Doesn't it hurt?"  
  
The Slytherin shook his head, stormy grey eyes boring into his emerald ones. "A little, but nothing I can't handle... Just take me, _now._ "  
  
Harry pressed their lips together, giving the blond a passionate kiss before starting to move inside him.  
  
The room was soon filled with a lot of noise as he was thrusting in and out, first slowly and then harder, making love to Draco who turned out to be a really loud one in bed. At first Draco being so vocal confused Harry but in the end, after getting used to it, it only aroused him more. In Harry's dreams Draco had usually been a little shy but this was a lot better. It was intense and kinky, and Harry loved it.  
  
"Ah, fuck! Fucking own me, Harry Potter!"  
  
It was almost like another dream. The Slytherin was clutching hard onto Harry's back, his long legs wrapped around his waist, moaning somewhere in between intense pleasure and pain.  
  
"Draco, you are amazing", Harry whispered roughly against the skin of the Slytherin's neck. He was slamming his hips faster and faster against the other man's bottom, sinking deep inside him, his right hand rubbing the blond's cock at the same time.  
  
"So are you", Draco replied, moaning loudly as Harry hit the right spot inside him. "Aah! So - _fucking big_ and-"  
  
Harry cut Draco's sentence by smashing his lips against his mouth again. Draco kissed him back fiercely.  
  
Harry's head was spinning with lust, pleasure and love. Having sex with Draco was stupendous, he had never imagined that sex could be anything like this, feel this good and this intense, not even close. Draco's muscles were squeezing him so tightly that he was almost losing his mind and he kept wanting more and more, wishing he could try out every possible position. He remembered one of his dreams where Draco had been bouncing on top of him... Damn. He wanted Draco to ride him.  
  
"Would you like to be on top?" he whispered against the Slytherin's lips.  
  
He barely even managed to finish his sentence before Draco had already rolled them around, immediately taking the reins. Harry ended up lying on his back on the bed as Draco was above, riding him senseless.  
  
Harry's eyes travelled down on the Slytherin's beautiful, pale, slender body that was now glimmering with sweat, the large scars covering his torso not worsening the view for him at all. Draco was perfect the way he was and he wouldn't change a thing about the man. He took a hold of the Slytherin's big erection again, squeezing it rhythmically as he kept enjoying the amazing ride that Draco was offering him and listening to his loud whining.  
  
"Damn you, Draco", he finally breathed after a minute or two. "This is _just_ like in one of my dreams."  
  
Draco opened his eyes slightly, looking down at him. His already blushed cheeks reddened a bit more. "Huh?"  
  
"I've been dreaming about this for weeks", Harry said. He paused, struggling to a sitting position and took a hold of the Slytherin on his lap, just like in the first dream he'd had. The other man was looking at him, eyes burning with desire. "Actually... this is how it was in the first one...", Harry said.  
  
Draco cried with pleasure as Harry started pounding against his bottom rhythmically, steering the slender body against the thrusts. The Slytherin's hands and legs were wrapped around him and Harry moved one of his own hands to Draco's cock again, pumping it in the same beat.  
  
"Oh fuck!" the Slytherin was soon moaning in exhaustion as Harry was hitting his prostate with each deep thrust. "Gosh... Harry!!!"  
  
Harry stopped moving. "What is it, Draco? Does it feel good?" he asked, panting against the Slytherin's neck.  
  
"Yes!" Draco cried. "Don't stop. Fuck me, Harry!"  
  
Harry smiled. He moved his both hands to the other man's buttocks as he continued his angled thrusts. Draco was rubbing himself at the same time, moaning. Harry was in heaven. It felt so wonderful to be inside Draco, he wished it would never have to end. He crushed his lips against the Slytherin's throat, leaving another angry red mark there.  
  
It didn't take long before the Slytherin already cried out in pleasure, back arching as he came in between their bellies, shouting at Harry's name, once again, his whole body spasming uncontrollably.  
  
"Well done", Harry groaned. He instantly pushed Draco on his back on the bed and kept pounding into his completely exhausted body until he came as well a short while later, collapsing on top of the blond.  
  
They were lying like that for a long time, both panting heavily, neither of them able to speak. Harry's face was pressed against the other man's neck, his eyes closed.  
  
Oh Merlin. He had just had real sex for the first time. Not with his girlfriend but with his old rival, Draco Lucius Malfoy, and he had _loved_ it. And the weirdest part was that even though he was sober this time, he didn't feel any guilt about this. It had felt _right._  
  
He slowly lifted himself up and carefully pulled out of Draco, landing next to the other man on the sheets. Draco's eyes were still closed and he was breathing heavily, part of his platinum hair glued against the skin of his forehead. Harry's eyes rested on the very sweaty but still so beautiful Slytherin and without hesitation he pulled the man closer, taking him in his arms and kissed him, this time very tenderly, and Draco kissed him back.  
  
After a long, intense kiss they kept resting in each others arms, just holding and caressing one another.  
  
Harry was the one to speak first. "That... was amazing."  
  
"It totally was", Draco said, looking at him with a dazed expression on his face. He was gently stroking Harry's black, messy hair and rolling it around his finger, his eyes filled with fondness. Harry finally realized how much Draco really cared about him, just like Harry cared about Draco. It was clear that it had not been mere sex to Draco. Harry had been too blind to see what had been right in front of his eyes this whole time.  
  
"How long, Draco?" he asked.  
  
He didn't need to clarify it any more. Draco let out a sigh, breaking the eye contact.  
  
"Draco?" Harry repeated, a little concerned, caressing the Slytherin's back gently with his fingers. "How long?"  
  
When the other man finally looked at him, there was a melancholic, embarrassed look in his grey eyes.  
  
"Years."  
  
Harry stared at Draco, not able to quite believe what the man had just said.  
  
"Come again?" he asked, mouth slightly open.  
  
"You heard me", the blond said quietly, trying to look anywhere but at Harry.  
  
"How is that possible?"  
  
Draco shrugged. "You tell me... Of course, it was nothing more than a crush at first. I think it was the final Quidditch match at our third grade that started it."  
  
Harry was looking at the Slytherin, truly astounded. "Third grade? You're _joking,_ right?!"  
  
He remembered the Quidditch match that had been played between Gryffindor and Slytherin in late April. He had hated Draco so much for cheating so outrageously, suddenly rushing from behind and grabbing at his Firebolt, causing the Snitch to escape. Harry had spent the rest of the match annoying the boy as much as he could.  
  
"Do I look like I'm joking?" Draco asked, now sounding a bit irritated. "You kept harassing me through the game, flying so close to me and... wherever I looked I saw you. I don't know _what_ happened, but after that I just couldn't stop thinking about you." He paused, letting out another sigh. "It just got worse and worse over the years."  
  
Harry flashed a questioning look at the Slytherin and he continued.  
  
"The others boys kept going on and on about their sexual fantasies with different girls, talking about boobs and stuff... Not me. My biggest fantasy was to be taken by The Boy Who Lived _._ "  
  
Harry was perplexed. He couldn't get a word out of his mouth so he just kept listening, letting the Slytherin continue talking.  
  
"I became _obsessed_ with you. I tried to get your attention in any possible way – but it didn't work."  
  
"You did have my attention, though", Harry commented. "But not in a good way. You were an arse to me all the time..."  
  
"Because it was the only way to make you see me", Draco grunted. "It was the only way I came up with to get close to you, even if it was just for a while."  
  
"Damn it, Draco", Harry said, tightening the grip around the blond. "Why didn't you just tell me?"  
  
Draco gave him a morose glare. "Are you fucking kidding me?" he snorted. " _'Hi, Potter. I know you hate me and I've been an arse, but actually I just happen to have a huge crush on you.'_ " He rolled his eyes. "Use your brains..."  
  
Harry sighed. "Okay, I get your point."  
  
"I knew how much you hated me but _somehow_ I kept hoping. Then you started dating Chang. Hmph. I was glad it didn't work out between the two of you, but then you fell for the Weasley girl instead and you two became a couple", Draco continued bitterly. "I tried to date Pansy myself but I had no real interest in her, so it didn't lead to anything."

He paused, letting out a sigh. "I had always got everything I wanted... but I couldn't have you." He paused again, just staring at the wall for a while before still continuing: "I became jealous and bitter and I hated that I wanted you when you yourself didn't give a shit about me. I wanted to make you suffer for doing that to me. In the end I ended up breaking your nose, taking the Mark and doing all those horrible things to people and ruining everything for good."  
  
"Draco -"  
  
"I regretted it _every_ day during the war. I heard about the dreadful plots against you... but I couldn't do anything. Then one day you were brought to the Manor and I was so afraid that you were gonna die, and... I wanted to save you, but... you know." His voice faded.  
  
"Draco, you don't have to say anything more if you don't want to", Harry said, moving his hand to caress the Slytherin's hair gently.  
  
"But I want to", the Slytherin said. "Harry... In the end you saved me from the Fiendfyre. And when you defeated Voldemort... God damn it, how powerful, fearless, and most of all _sexy_ you were when opposing him!" Harry's lips curved to a confused smile, his cheeks blushing. "Not to forget the fact that you saved me and my mom from Azkaban afterwards. All that stuff made me want you even more", Draco finished, starting to roll Harry's hair around his finger again.  
  
"But still you didn't say anything to me after we went back to school", Harry pointed out.  
  
"How the hell could I tell something like that to you, the famous hero?" Draco sighed, rolling his eyes. "You were the saviour of the Wizarding World and I was an ex-Death Eater. I stood no chance. Besides, you were usually surrounded by your admirers or your friends... or your girlfriend. You were always snogging her in front of my eyes. I started to spend more time in the Common Room, but even if we were the last ones left there, you had no intention to talk to me. You wouldn't even _look_ at me... no matter how much effort I put to my looks and... Finally I decided to take the matters into my own hands to make sure you'd notice my existence."  
  
"What do you mean...?" Harry mumbled.  
  
"Uh... Remember how my school stuff spread around the corridor?"  
  
"Are you telling me you did it on purpose?!"  
  
"I had to do _something_ to get your attention."  
  
Harry let out a short laugh. "Well, Draco. Your plan definitely worked because I _did_ notice you. That night was the first time I dreamt about you." He had a gentle smile on his lips.  
  
Draco looked surprised, a tiny, unsure smile rising to his lips too. "Really?" he asked.  
  
"Really", Harry replied. "I looked into your eyes and... Well, after that I couldn't stop thinking about you. I was a goner."  
  
Draco's cheeks flushed a little and, once again mesmerized by the man's beauty, Harry leaned closer and kissed the other man again. His heart felt like exploding. He loved, loved, loved the man in his arms. And Draco loved him back.  
  
"You lied to me, Draco", Harry said after the kiss, running his hand through the other man's hair again. "You said you weren't gay..."  
  
"I didn't lie", the Slytherin said immediately. "I didn't consider myself gay when you're the only man I've ever really wanted. The only one I've ever had real feelings for."  
  
Harry, feeling very confused, had to finally ask the question he had been wondering for weeks. "What about Theodore? You went on a date with him, didn't you? The night when you came back crying."  
  
"Yeah...", Draco answered, suddenly sounding a little tense.  
  
"Tell me what happened between you two", Harry said.  
  
Draco seemed to hesitate for a while until he started again.  
  
"The date was fine. I had fun with him as long as we stayed at Hogsmeade. However, when we were back at school, we ended up kissing and..." Draco sighed heavily. "It wasn't enough for him. He wanted to take things even further, but I just couldn't. I couldn't stop thinking about you. Of course, Theo got so mad and... let's just say that he totally gave me a piece of his mind. He told me how pathetic I am and how I'm going to waste my whole fucking life drooling over a big headed straight man who only cares about fame and would never give a shit about me and... In the end it got very personal. I don't even want to tell you all the things he said to me that night."  
  
"So Theodore knows about your feelings towards me?" Harry asked, and Draco nodded.  
  
"Yeah. He used to be my best friend, after all", the Slytherin said quietly. "But not after that night. He said a lot of bad things about me, my family – and you. I will never forgive him."  
  
Harry was still stroking the Slytherin's hair. "I don't think he necessarily meant any of those things. He was just jealous of you. He cares about you and just wanted to hurt you because you don't feel the same way."  
  
"He definitely has a weird way of showing how much he cares about someone", Draco snorted.  
  
"So did you, Draco", Harry pointed out, but the Slytherin didn't pay any attention to his comment.  
  
"He ruined every tiniest possibility for me to ever have any feelings towards him. Ever. Thank god Greg was ready to switch rooms with me."  
  
"But you're still friends with Theodore, right?" Harry asked.  
  
"Not friends. Just classmates", Draco said.  
  
Harry flashed him an apologetic smile. "I apologize, Draco, but to tell the truth, I'm also glad. If he hadn't been an arse to you, we probably wouldn't be here now. And… I was dead jealous of you that night."  
  
Draco raised his head from Harry's chest, looking deep into his eyes again. "You were?" he asked, a lopsided smile on his pink lips.  
  
Harry nodded. "Of course I was. You looked bloody gorgeous and left on a date with another man!"  
  
"I looked gorgeous?" Draco asked, his smile widening.  
  
"You always look gorgeous, Draco. I spent the whole night thinking about you, I couldn't concentrate on anything else. I just waited for you to come back, but you wouldn't show up, and I had a bad feeling that you were going to sleep with him. I hated the idea of his hands on you and -"  
  
Harry's sentence was left unfinished when he noticed a familiar, diabolical grin on the Slytherin's face. "What?" he asked.  
  
"I think we've had enough of talking for tonight", the blond said.  
  
"You think so?" Harry asked, his lips curving up. Blimey, was Draco already waiting for another round?  
  
"Yeah", the Slytherin answered, his hand already travelling down along Harry's body.  
  
"Insatiable, are we? Already hungry for more?" Harry asked, grinning.  
  
"I spent years waiting to get my hands on you, Harry Potter. My hunger will not be so easily satisfied."

A hoarse laugh escaped Harry's mouth as he rolled himself on top of the blond again, already incredibly turned on. He was more than willing to help Draco satisfy his hunger. This was going to be a long night.


	14. Chapter 14

It was midday when Harry finally woke up. He opened his eyes slowly, seeing the most beautiful sight in the world in front of him and a gentle smile immediately rose to his lips.

He moved his hand up to caress the smooth pale skin of the Slytherin's cheek, and the other man pressed his face smiling against his hand. Harry instantly felt his stomach fluttering. Draco Malfoy naked in his arms... He would definitely not mind at all to wake up to a sight like this for the rest of his life.  
  
They had stayed awake very late last night and there had been a lot of snuggling, kissing, and of course, different kinds of sex. Draco had been amazing, he had wanted more and more of Harry, and Harry naturally hadn't resisted.  
  
Sex with Draco was mind-blowing. It was powerful, it was passionate, it was kinky, it was intense. Their sexual chemistry was indescribable and they couldn't get enough of each other. Draco was the only person Harry'd had sex with, but he was already certain that he would never be able to have anything similar with someone else. And he didn't even want to experience this with anyone else, only with Draco.  
  
After they had finally been too exhausted to continue, they had once again laid in each others arms, just kissing and looking at one another, no talking, until finally falling asleep. They hadn't talked about actual love out loud yet, but that didn't matter. Harry already knew what he felt for the other man, and he could see from the look in the Slytherin's eyes that he felt the same way towards him. The actual three words weren't needed yet. It was love, and there was nothing indistinct about it.  
  
He kept caressing the Slytherin's innocent looking sleeping face and finally he saw the stormy grey eyes opening up very, very slowly and slightly, immediately boring into his own.  
  
"Good morning", Harry said with a gentle smile.  
  
The other man looked confused at first until a tiny, relieved smile appeared to his lips as well. "Morning", he whispered. "So it wasn't just another dream after all?"  
  
"No", Harry replied, shaking his head. He pressed a quick kiss to the other man's lips before saying: "Merry Christmas, Draco."  
  
Draco's smile widened. "Oh, right... I had already forgotten...", he said, before adding: "You know, I've always gotten what I've wanted... but this must be the best Christmas present I've ever had."  
  
"I couldn't agree more", Harry said and they both smirked, tightening their grips around each other's bodies.  
  
"I still can't believe that I'm not dreaming", Draco said after a while, quietly. "I dreamt about this for years but I never thought I'd get to hold you like this for real... but now you are suddenly lying here with me. You're really here."  
  
"Yes, I'm here", Harry said softly. "And this time I promise that I'm not going anywhere."  
  
"You better not", Draco said back, before kissing Harry.  
  
They just laid there for a long time, snuggling and kissing each other, until they finally decided that it was the time to get out of the bed and head downstairs to have some breakfast.  
  
"I guess I should go take a quick shower first", Harry said while getting up and putting his glasses on.  
  
"Sounds good", Draco said. "Want some company?"  
  
Harry smiled, shrugging. "Why not", he said, walking to the closet on the other side of the room to get some clean towels for them. He was currently searching, when he heard a hiss of pain from behind him and quickly turned around, seeing Draco getting up and grimacing in pain.  
  
"What is it?" he asked, worried.  
  
The Slytherin glanced at him. "What do you think?" he asked with a snort, but already had a very tiny grin on his face. "I guess the second round was a little too much for me..."  
  
Harry gave the other man an apologizing look. "Sorry", he said, running his fingers through his black hair. "I shouldn't have been so rough with you."  
  
Draco, however, just grinned. "Don't be sorry." He grabbed the towel Harry had thrown at him. "It's only good to get used to it..." He winked.  
  
Harry laughed, shaking his head. Draco was impossible.  
  
\---  
  
They took a very long, relaxing shower together, once again being all over each other: first only washing, then kissing, then groping, and finally masturbating each other under the running hot water.  
  
After they were finally ready and shower fresh they went downstairs to have some breakfast and then finally to the living room, to open their Christmas presents.  
  
Harry had gotten a lot of nice presents from his friends and the Weasleys and while Draco didn't have as many presents as Harry, they were a lot more expensive than his. Draco had soon went through his own presents and just sat there on the couch, observing Harry as he still had two last presents left.  
  
Harry unwrapped the other one of the remaining packages, revealing what was a small photo album inside. Wrinkling his brows a little he opened it and the tiny smile on his face instantly faded away.  
  
"What is it?" Draco asked after seeing his face, coming closer to have a look.  
  
Harry didn't answer. They were both staring at the open page that had two pictures of Harry and his red-haired girlfriend.  
  
In the first picture Harry was holding Ginny close to him and pressing a kiss to her lips. After the kiss they first looked at each other and then at the camera with blissful smiles on their lips.  
  
Harry was looking at the picture with a blank face. He remembered when Hermione had taken that photo of him and Ginny. They had still been so happy during those days.  
  
The next page contained another picture of the young happy couple, this time dancing at a party, their bodies glued to one another. They were both wearing smitten smiles on their faces as they were looking at each other. They looked perfect together.  
  
Harry didn't bother turning another page. Instead he was now staring at the card that had come with the present, and so was Draco.

  
  
_'Dear Harry,_  
  
 _I've been looking at all these pictures of us together and I'm already missing you so much. I'm so sorry that I got angry at you, I'm ready to wait_ _for_ _as long as you're ready. I don't want to pressure you into anything._  
 _I want you to know that no matter what happens, I'll be here for you, always._

_I love you. Happy Christmas!_   
  
_Love, Ginny.'_

  
  
Harry read the card three times, staring at the neat handwriting of his girlfriend. Finally he slipped the card in between the pages and closed the album, putting it away without looking at the rest of the pictures.  
  
It couldn't be denied that having seen the pictures made him feel guilty for cheating on Ginny. However, it didn't change the fact that he didn't actually regret what he had done.  
  
It was already clear to Harry that he and Ginny had never been meant to be together for the rest of their lives. He obviously still cared about Ginny a lot... but only as a friend. He had only been doing what everyone expected of him. He still wished to get married some day, but Ginny wouldn't be the other party.  
  
Everything already felt so right with Draco. They happened to have an unexplainable connection and chemistry between them that no one would ever understand. And the way their years of rivalry and hate had turned into something like this... that was totally something.  
  
He turned to glance at the Slytherin, recognizing a slightly melancholic look on his face though he was trying his best to hide it.  
  
"Let's pretend I never opened that one, okay?" Harry said, seeking for a smile. He hated seeing Draco sad.  
  
The Slytherin was glaring at the photo album. "I was expecting something like this to happen. Of course she had to come up with something like that", he hissed.  
  
"Who cares", Harry said calmly. "She can send me anything, but it won't change a thing."  
  
Draco was still looking at the closed photo album. "I always hated watching you with her", he said quietly. "If that happens again..."  
  
"It won't. I mean it, Draco", Harry continued. "As if few old pictures would change my mind. I've already made my decision."  
  
The Slytherin finally turned to face him. "Decision?" he repeated, looking tense.  
  
Harry nodded, flashing a gentle smile at the other man. "Yeah. But if you don't mind, I'd like to talk more about that one later today, after I've taken you out for a dinner."  
  
The other man was looking at him confused, a tiny blush rising to his cheeks.  
  
"Out? Dinner?" he said incredulously, raising his brow questioningly.  
  
Harry nodded again. "Yeah", he said. He saw the Slytherin's lips curve up to a smile.  
  
Harry finally turned his attention to the last, small present he still hadn't opened yet. He took it, turning it around in his hands. There was no card in it so he didn't know who it was from.  
  
"Hmm. No card", Harry muttered thoughtfully.  
  
Draco was eyeing him closely, not saying anything.  
  
Harry curiously unwrapped the gift paper, revealing a small black box inside. Frowning, he took the lid off, instantly gasping in confusion.  
  
There was a very expensive looking wristwatch inside. Harry slowly took it out of the box, taking a closer look at it, his other hand in front of his mouth. The watch was made of white gold and it had small emerald green details in it.  
  
"What the hell...", he muttered by himself. He didn't know much about jewellery or watches, but looking at the watch in his hand, he could still tell that it had cost _a lot._ There was no doubt about it. "Who would send me something like -"  
  
It didn't take long until the realization hit him, and with his mouth slightly open he turned his head to the man sitting next to him. The man who was looking at him back with an unsure look on his face, stormy grey eyes showing powerful emotion.  
  
"Draco, you didn't...", he started, before realizing another thing. "This was the one you had to go buy on your own?"  
  
The Slytherin gave a slow nod.  
  
"Merlin, Draco. This must have cost a fortune", Harry said, lowering his gaze back to the watch, admiring it. "I can't believe you'd go and buy me something like this..."  
  
"Do you like it?" the other man only asked, sounding tense, completely ignoring his comment about the price. "If you'd like something else, we can take it back and you can choose another. They've got at least a hundred different -"  
  
"Don't even think about it", Harry said, cutting off the Slytherin's sentence. "It's the one you chose for me. I'd never return it."  
  
He saw a tiny smile on the other man's lips as he put the watch on his left wrist, still admiring it for a while before turning to face the other man again.  
  
"Honestly, I don't even know what to say, other than... thank you, Draco. I love it", he said with a gentle smile.  
  
"You do?" Draco asked, smiling back.  
  
Harry gave a nod.  
  
"Well, Harry, I'm glad... The moment I saw that one, I immediately knew that was the one. It matches with your eyes."  
  
Harry, once again feeling butterflies in his stomach, slowly leaned closer and pulled the Slytherin into a kiss. He felt the other man's long fingers sink into this messy hair as their lips moved against each other’s tenderly. Harry parted his lips slightly, letting Malfoy’s tongue touch his own.  
  
This time, however, the kiss didn't lead to anything more. Instead of the kiss being hungry and full of lust, this time it was soft and full of love. Harry's heart was hammering in his chest, his fingers caressing the nape of the Slytherin's neck, and he felt all warm and fuzzy inside.  
  
Harry Potter was madly in love with Draco Malfoy, and later today he was going to ask the other man to be his boyfriend.  
  
\---  
  
Harry's Christmas day was very different from any of his earlier ones.  
  
Normally he would’ve spent the Christmas day with the Weasley family, eating Molly Weasley's delicious cooking, chatting and playing some games with the others, opening gifts and finally staying up late with Ron, Hermione and Ginny.  
  
This time he was alone with Draco.  
  
At first they hung around at Grimmauld Place, just relaxing and enjoying each others company. Harry loved talking with Draco, at the same time getting to know him even better. For example, Harry had known that Draco liked reading, but he hadn't known what kind of books the blond preferred the most. He hadn't known that Draco's favourite colour, instead of black that he usually loved to wear, was actually white. He hadn't known that after they were going to graduate, Draco was planning to move to London as well and get his own flat. There were a lot of things he hadn't known about the Slytherin and he wanted to learn every single detail about him.  
  
Later, just like Harry had planned, he took Draco out to a fine-dining muggle restaurant. There they enjoyed a luxury three course meal, talking and laughing with each other, feeling completely at peace.  
  
Harry could tell that Draco was clearly taken by his effort: the Slytherin seemed to enjoy the excellent food and wine, and he kept glancing at Harry from time to time while eating, smiling. Harry himself couldn't keep his eyes off the Slytherin either.  
  
Once again, Draco looked very dapper in his all dark silk suit, his platinum, medium long hair magnificently styled. The man was out of this world and Harry still couldn't believe that of all the possible people in the world, Draco had set eyes on _him._ It just didn't make any sense to him at all. He was The Boy Who Lived… but that was all he was.  
  
Harry had never considered himself as handsome. His hair had always been and still was a dishevelled mess. He didn't like shopping so he hardly ever bought new clothes to himself and because of that most of his clothes were already a little worn-out. He didn't have any fashion sense like Draco, and he didn't even have as many muscles to show like so many other young men his age. Not to forget that he had a weak eyesight so he also had to wear glasses, and of course he had an ugly scar on his forehead. So, what in the Merlin's name did Draco see in him, and especially why had the Slytherin had a crush on him since third grade, he would never know.  
  
The more wine they ingested the more they kept glancing at each other and exchanging significant looks, and Harry had a strong suspicion that the moment they would close the door of 12 Grimmauld Place, magic was going to happen. Again.  
  
After they had finished eating and drinking and Harry had paid their pricey bill, they headed out and just walked in the chilly Christmas night, looking at the beautiful Christmas lights and listening as some children were singing Christmas songs. They were both a little drunk and walking hand in hand, and it felt so right that at that moment Harry didn't even care if someone could see them. Of course he was still feeling a little worried about what the Daily Prophet would write about him and Draco when it’d come out, but sooner or later it would have to happen anyway. Draco Malfoy was the one Harry wanted and he would not lose the man because of being ashamed of him. His reputation would definitely come crashing down after the revelation, but it would be worth it. He was tired of living how other people wanted him to. He wanted to start living the life the way _he_ wanted to.  
  
He turned his head to take a look at the man who was standing next to him, staring up at the stars and clearly deep in his thoughts. Draco looked so beautiful that Harry could not take it anymore. He couldn't wait a minute longer, he would have to speak what was in his mind right now.  
  
"Listen, I... There's something I need to tell you", he said after a while of hesitation.  
  
The Slytherin turned to face him and Harry could tell that though the other man was still wearing a very tiny smile on his lips, he was also feeling worried.  
  
"Draco", Harry started under the other man's intense gaze. "I want you to know that... I _really_ enjoy spending time with you. I would never have thought that I'd be saying this to you of all the people but... I feel very comfortable when you're around." Draco's hand was squeezing his own a little tighter. "I like you being close to me and... I really, sincerely, care about you."  
  
He was feeling a little embarrassed standing there and suddenly being all romantic. It was not familiar to him, he had never discussed this deeply with Ginny or with anyone else. And this was _Draco Malfoy_ who had bullied him for years, so...  
  
"The thing is... You have no idea how strongly you make me feel. I've _never_ felt anything like this towards anyone else before", he continued, now lowering his gaze to his feet. "You see, I keep thinking about you all the time and... also, I've got this weird urge to protect you. I know there are people who want to make you suffer for what you've done in the past and..." Fuck, he was babbling. Harry's cheeks were starting to burn. "I just want you to know that... you are safe with me. I will not let anything happen to you, Draco. _Ever."_ He raised his head to look at the other man again.  
  
"You've always had a hero complex", Draco commented with a smirk.  
  
"I guess that's true", Harry said, smiling back. "But it's different now, it's a lot worse when it comes to you." He paused and took a deep breath before continuing: "I know I'm still in a relationship with Ginny, but I've already decided that after we get back to Hogwarts... I'm going to break up with her, for good. I don't want to be with her anymore... It doesn't feel right." Another short pause. "What I'm trying to say here is... it's _you_ I want, Draco. I've wanted you for a long time already but I just haven't been able to admit it to you or even to myself." He lowered his gaze again, not able to look at the Slytherin. "So I'm asking if you would like to... be my boyfriend."  
  
There. With a lot of babbling to get to the point, it had finally been said. He raised his gaze again, meeting the other man's stormy grey eyes that were full of emotion.  
  
"I would love to", the Slytherin said, smiling. Harry had never seen him look so happy and it warmed his heart.  
  
Draco leaned closer and they shared a long, mind blowing kiss in the middle of the street, not giving a damn if someone would look at them with disapproval.  
  
When their lips finally parted, Draco's eyes were looking deep into Harry's soul again. "Harry, I love you. I love you so fucking much", he whispered against his lips.  
  
"I love you too", Harry whispered back, before they melted into another stupendous, loving kiss. Harry's fingers were wrapped tightly around the Slytherin's waist, pulling him as close as he could, and the other man's hands were tangled in his messy hair, caressing the back of his head. There was a swarm of butterflies in Harry's stomach once again.  
  
"Anyone could see us, you know", Draco said against his lips as they had to stop to take a breath again. "Aren't you afraid of ending up on the front page of the Prophet anymore?"  
  
Harry shook his head, pressing another quick kiss on the other man's lips. "Not as much as I used to."  
  
"Imagine the headline", the Slytherin continued, grimacing. "The Saviour kissing an ex-Death Eater in the middle of London..."  
  
Harry looked at him, his emerald green eyes sparkling. "I know", he said. "But it will happen sooner or later and I'm not ashamed of you, Draco. I want to have a normal life with you, not caring about who could see and what they would think of us all the time."  
  
"What about everyone at school?" Draco still pointed out. "First of all, your friends. They won't be happy about this."  
  
"I know", Harry said with a sigh. "But if they won't accept us together, they're not my real friends, right?"  
  
"Right", the Slytherin said.  
  
"What about your classmates?" Harry himself had to ask. Wasn't Draco at all afraid of telling his friends that he was suddenly in a relationship with Harry fucking Potter, the man he had pretended to loathe for years? "What will they say? Imagine their reaction..."  
  
"Who the fuck cares", Draco said with a shrug, making Harry laugh. "Most of the school already hates me so it's not like it could get any worse, you know. Besides, Greg already knows about how I feel, so does Theo... Theo will probably try to kill us or something but -"  
  
"Goyle knows too?" Harry asked, raising his eyebrows.  
  
The Slytherin nodded. "Yeah. Like I've told you before, I tell him almost everything."  
  
"Well, that will have to change", Harry said, chuckling. "No dirty details to him, okay?"  
  
The Slytherin chuckled too and pulled him into another long kiss. They stood there embracing and kissing each other for a while before they finally apparated back to 12 Grimmauld Place again, where they spent the rest of the night watching some television, cuddling, kissing and – once again – making love, in the end falling asleep in each other's arms.  
  
For Harry, this was the happiest Christmas ever, because it had given him Draco.


	15. Chapter 15

The Christmas break went by fast and Harry and Draco enjoyed spending it together. Most of the time they spent by themselves at 12 Grimmauld Place, but some days they also went out to do other stuff.

Mostly they went out for coffee. There was this small, cozy muggle coffee bar near Harry's home where they sold delicious pastries and _'the best hot chocolate ever'_ in Draco's opinion. Draco had turned out to be a gourmand when it came to sweet treats, and it made Harry smile.

One night Harry took Draco to a movie theatre to see a comedy film together. It was quite a new thing for both of them, because having lived with the Dursley's Harry hadn't been able to do all the stuff that normal children would with their families. They both enjoyed watching the movie from big screen and planned to do it again sometime.

Once Harry even took Draco to ice-skating – although that didn't go as Harry had planned. Naturally, Draco who had never been ice-skating before, sucked at it _badly_. The blond kept falling on the ice all the time, cursing loudly, and in the end the other man got so frustrated and angry that he yanked the skates off his feet and slammed them violently to the ground, storming away. Harry, not knowing whether to laugh or not, followed the Slytherin, telling him that it wasn't so serious and he should try to take it with humour. From the glare the other man gave him, he knew that ice-skating would definitely not be their shared hobby in the future.

One day they went shopping together. Draco took Harry to a clothing store, telling him that now was the time to renew his wardrobe and get rid of all those worn-out clothes. Draco made Harry try on what felt like at least fifty different outfits under his supervising eye, and in the end Harry left the store with three sacks of clothes and a lot lighter wallet.

They even visited a muggle night club one night. At first Draco kept nagging because it was so crowded and noisy there, but the more alcohol they ingested the more the Slytherin seemed to enjoy himself, and so did Harry - at first. There were lots of good looking, stylish young people in the club, but still the only person he kept admiring was Draco.

However, as the night went by, Harry started to notice that the Slytherin caught many other's eyes as well. Some people even came to hit on Draco and Harry felt a rush of possessiveness overflowing him. He hadn't considered himself that jealous of a type before, but Draco awakened completely new feelings in him, both good and bad, it seemed.

When they finally left the bar and arrived back to the 12 Grimmauld Place, Harry instantly lunged at Draco, took off his trousers, lifted him against the wall and roughly fucked him right there, Draco's slim legs wrapped around his waist, wanting to make sure that the blond knew it was Harry who he belonged to. Afterwards he apologized to Draco for his behaviour but the Slytherin only told him that Harry's possessiveness over him simply aroused him more.

Still, Harry was not proud of himself _at all_ after that and knew that his jealousness and his fear of losing the man would have to lessen. He loved Draco and didn't want the other man to feel like he was chained down by him.

If he didn't change, it would become a huge problem in their relationship at some point, for sure. There would always be people drooling over his man and he would have to live with it and trust that Draco wouldn't betray his trust for a random fling. After all, Draco had craved for him for years.

\---

As the Christmas break came closer to an end, Harry and Draco visited Narcissa Malfoy together in the hospital. Narcissa was confused to see Harry Potter arriving with her son, and without any hesitation Draco told his mum about how things really were between him and Harry.

"I know this comes as a huge shock to you, mum, but me and Harry... we're _together._ I love him and he loves me, and there's nothing you or father can do about it", he said.

To both of their surprise, Narcissa didn't seem shocked. Instead, her eyes were soon filled with tears as she wrapped her arms around her son, hugging him tightly.

"Draco, my love, I'm glad that you've found someone in your life", she said, a smile on her lips.

"Really?" Draco asked, unsure, and looked at his mum in confusion as they pulled apart from each other. "You're not angry that it's... _him?_ "

Narcissa Malfoy shook her head, turning her eyes towards Harry instead. Harry gulped under Draco's mum's gaze.

"Honestly, I always suspected that Draco had feelings for you", Narcissa said. "He kept talking about you in the letters he sent me, during holidays... all the time. And during the war it was already clear as a day. A mother knows these things, and it broke my heart to see him suffer so much." Harry saw Draco's cheeks turn a little redder. "You've been good to our family, Harry, no matter how badly we've treated you for years. I have no doubt that you'll make my son happy."

"I will do my best, Mrs Malfoy", Harry said, taking a hold of his boyfriend's hand. Both Draco and his mum smiled at him.

They spent an hour at the hospital, discussing school, their relationship, and of course Narcissa's health. Harry and Draco were glad to hear that Draco's mum was already doing a lot better and she would be ready to return home soon.

As they were leaving, Narcissa still had one question left for them.

"Have you told Lucius yet?" she asked.

Draco shook his head. "No... At first I was thinking of visiting Azkaban during the Christmas break and telling him in person but I don't know how he'll take the news, so..."

"I understand", Narcissa said softly. "Your father can be, um... very merciless and... even scary. However, I'm going to go see him as soon as I get out. So if you'd like, I can take care of it for you."

Harry and Draco glanced at each other.

"He won't take it well", Draco said, sighing. "He hates Harry, and to make the matters worse, he's expecting me to marry a pure blood witch and make sure that there will be more Malfoys and... well, Harry's a guy..."

"Draco, you're his only son", Narcissa said confidently, smiling. "It will take time, but he will learn to understand." She was quiet for a while until she continued, a little unsure: "And, as for children... there are ways for two men and women to have a child as well, in case you haven't heard. You are two wizards after all. In case someday you two would want to be parents, of course."

 _"What?!"_ Harry and Draco gasped at the same time.

"With a lot of money almost anything is possible", Narcissa continued, smiling. "And you both know that money is not a problem for us, so we would be happy to help if -"

"Enough of that topic for now", Draco said, sounding very tense. "We've just began dating, mum."

"I know, I know", Narcissa said, blushing a little. "I just wanted you to know that there are options. I know Harry's the only child too so I assume he might want childr-"

"Mum, please!" Draco cut her off, running his hand through his hair, face as red as a tomato.

"Alright, alright, I’m sorry", Narcissa said, flashing a small grin that reminded Harry of Draco's. "I'm just so happy for you two lovebirds. It really made my day that you came visiting."

She hugged both of them before they left.

"Take care of my son for me, will you?" she whispered to Harry, and Harry nodded, smiling.

As they were walking along the hospital corridor, Harry was deep in his thoughts. He had wished to become a father someday because he hadn't had a proper family himself as a child, but he had already accepted the fact that he wouldn't be able to have that with Draco. He had been ready to give up his dream because of Draco, but now that he had heard there actually were possibilities to have children between same sex couples...

"How would you feel about it...", he started, hesitating, gaining a questioning look from the Slytherin next to him. "… you know, what your mum was talking about before we left?"

Draco glared at him. "Harry, you seriously want to discuss that already?" he asked, shaking his head in irritation.

"I just... want to know if you'd want to... _some_ day, you know", Harry said carefully.

The Slytherin let out a heavy, frustrated sigh. "Damn my mum", he cursed. "Did she really have to bring it up already..?"

Harry let out a short laugh. "Calm down, Draco. I'm just talking about future. We're still young."

"Yeah, I know", Draco said with another sigh. "But I can't answer your question yet. I've never even thought about it before, so..."

"I haven't thought about it a lot either", Harry said. "But if it _really_ is possible... I don't think it would be so horrible, you know?"

"Combining _our_ genes?", the Slytherin asked. His eyes quickly wandered to Harry's unruly hair, and he grimaced. "Good _lord._ What is my mum thinking?!"

They both chuckled.

"Well, Harry, all I can say for now is... maybe. Some day." He flashed a very small smile at Harry.

"That's enough for me", Harry said, smiling back.

"Can you imagine _us_ as parents though? What kind of parents would the two of us even be?" Draco still wondered, shaking his head.

"The best", Harry answered with a confident grin.

\---

When it was the last day before their return back to Hogwarts, Harry met Ron and Hermione alone at a small café. Harry, who had prepared himself to confess about his new relationship with Draco, suddenly found himself feeling ill at ease.

Ron and Hermione kept telling him about everything they had been doing at the Burrow, where they had visited and what they had gotten as presents. Harry listened to them, feeling very restless, fiddling with his sleeve all the time. When finally his friends attention turned to him, his stomach was turning into knots.

"So, tell us Harry, how's _your_ Christmas break gone?" Hermione asked.

Harry felt lost for words. He had spent his whole Christmas break with Draco, mostly doing everyday things, so he didn't have much to tell his friends.

"Nicely", he found himself answering curtly, avoiding eye contact, before taking another sip of his coffee.

He saw Ron and Hermione glancing at each other from the corner of his eye.

"Well, that's good to hear", Ron said slowly. "What have you been up to?"

Harry shrugged his shoulders. "Nothing much. Just normal stuff", he said. "Cleaning, cooking, watching TV, stuff like that..."

Harry noticed Hermione's gaze lingering on his clothes and especially on his new, expensive looking golden watch.

"And some _shopping_ too, it seems?" she finally said.

"Oh... yeah", Harry replied. "Draco took me to this nice clothing shop. It was time I renewed my wardrobe a bit, don't you agree?"

"Um... Since when have you called him _Draco?"_ Ron asked, a weird look on his face.

Harry gulped. Oh, right. He had forgotten that his friends weren't used to him being on first name terms with Draco.

"Well, it would be pretty weird to still call him by his last name when we've spent the whole two weeks at my place together, you know", he said negligently.

"Right", was all Ron said. He also took a swig of his coffee.

"It was nice of Mal-... _Draco,_ to take you shopping. You look really good, Harry", Hermione said and Harry thanked her. "How have you gotten along with him?" she added.

"Uh... I guess... very well", Harry answered, his gaze stuck on his fingers holding the coffee cup. He was feeling very uneasy. "We... haven't had any problems getting along... uh... Everything's been... great..."

"Okay... That's good", Hermione said before silence fell over them. Harry lifted his gaze carefully, noticing Hermione's gaze still lingering on the golden watch around his wrist.

"Ginny's been missing you, you know", Ron suddenly said, breaking the silence. "She's been pretty upset for not hearing anything about you."

Harry gulped, not knowing what he should say. "Umm... I thought she wanted us to have a break", he said. "That's why I haven't... you know."

"Well, it's become quite obvious to us that she still very much wants to carry on with you", Ron continued before taking another quick sip of his coffee. "So what do you think about _that,_ Harry? Do you still want to go on with her?"

Harry was feeling very stressed. What the hell was he supposed to say? _'No, Ron, I don't want to be with your little sister anymore. Actually, I'm already dating another person. I've been fucking Draco Malfoy for_ _the_ _last two weeks.'_ He saw both of his friends watching him.

"I... don't know", he finally muttered. "To be honest with you, I don't know if it's working between us anymore, so..."

Ron was looking at him with a blank face. "So, does that mean... you want to... break up with her?" he asked slowly.

"That's what I've been thinking", Harry admitted. "All we do is argue and no matter how many times we make up, nothing ever changes. It's not how it's supposed to be. I think it's wise to finally call it quits."

There was a short silence between them before Ron finally said: "Well, if that's what you decide, what can I say to that? It's _your_ life..." He took a bite of his chocolate biscuit, crunching it before adding: "Ginny will be heartbroken, of course."

"I know", Harry said with a sigh, resting his forehead against his hand on the table. "I wasn't expecting things to go this way either, but I know it's the right decision. Sorry, Ron."

Ron sighed too. "No reason to apologize to me. I'm not angry at you, Harry. I know she's not the easiest girl to be around with... But if you leave her, do it quickly and please do it _gently_ , okay?"

Harry nodded slowly, feeling guilty as hell. Ron was being so understanding but Harry knew that the moment his best friend would find out the real reason Harry wanted to leave his sister, all the understanding would be far gone. He had wanted to tell him today already… but now that he was sitting there with his two friends, he just couldn't do it.

"It's sad that it didn't work between you and Ginny", it was Hermione's turn to say. "But when one door closes, another one opens, _isn't that right?"_

Harry's and Hermione's eyes met, and from the meaningful look in her brown, warm eyes, Harry instantly realized that Hermione already knew the truth. She had always been good at seeing right through people and Harry wasn't an exception.

\---

When Harry arrived home an hour later, he was feeling a little relieved. Though he hadn't confessed to Ron yet, it warmed his heart to know that Hermione already knew about him and Draco, and wasn't disgusted by it. When they had separated in front of the café, Hermione had given him a quick hug, whispering to his ear: "I'm happy for you, Harry. I hope he's the one to make you happy." After that she had given him a gentle smile before walking away with Ron.

Harry found Draco in the dining room, reading Daily Prophet and drinking tea.

"Hi", he said with a smile, bending over to press a kiss to his boyfriend's cheek before taking a seat next to him.

"Hi", the Slytherin answered, looking at him expectantly. "Well, how did it go? What did they say?" he asked right away.

"Umm...", Harry said, resting his hands against the table. "Well, I..."

Draco was eyeing him closely, reading his face. "You didn't tell them", he finally said, the tiny smile on his face quickly fading away.

Harry shook his head. "I didn't", he admitted. "But I _did_ tell them that I'm going to break up with Ginny and they took it very well. Even Ron didn't seem to mind."

"But you didn't tell them about _me",_ Draco said and Harry noticed a hurt look on his pale face. The Slytherin dragged his chair backwards, stood up and left, heading towards kitchen without another word to him. Harry followed after him.

The Slytherin was standing by the sink, back turned towards him.

"Draco", Harry said amicably, lifting his hand to the Slytherin's shoulder. "Listen-"

"Why didn't you tell them?" the other man asked in a cold tone.

"Because I didn't know how to tell", Harry answered. "I haven't even left Ginny yet. I think it's better to do that first. Take care of one thing at a time."

"You're ashamed of me", was all Draco said back, not looking at him.

"That's not true", Harry hurried to say, and he really meant it. "I'm _not_ ashamed of you and I _do_ want to tell them. Besides, Hermione already knows, so..."

The Slytherin turned to glance at him, frowning. "How?" he asked.

"I don't know", Harry said, shrugging. "I guess I suck at lying. She saw right through me and seemed to be happy for us."

Draco let out a cold snort. "Hmph. If she already knows and she's fine with it, then why couldn't you tell Weasley as well?"

"I will tell him later", Harry said. "After I've left Ginny. I promise!"

"But you promised to tell them _today!"_ the other man snapped. Harry was staring at him, not knowing what to say. "Gosh! I already told my _mum_ about you and you can't even let your friends know about us?!"

"Draco, calm down", Harry tried.

"No, Harry. You were supposed to tell them today but you didn't!" Draco snapped.

"I didn't yet, but I will!" Harry said.

"Yeah, right! And when is that going to happen?! In a month?! In _a year?!_ "

"When we get back to Hogwarts!" Harry snapped back, finally losing his temper too. "Like I've already told you!"

"Just for the record, I'm NOT going to be your dirty little secret when we're back there! I will NOT be Harry Potter's private slut!"

"You _won't_ be! I'm leaving Ginny and after that I'm telling everyone about you!"

"Well, you better, or else -"

"Have a little trust in me, will you?!?!"

"Well it's pretty hard to trust you after you already broke your promise today!"

"What the hell is the matter with you?! I LOVE you, you fucking idiot!"

"Then fucking PROVE IT!"

"Shut the fuck up, Malfoy!"

"No, _you_ shut up, Potter!"

"Bastard!"

"Shithead!"

"Arsehole!

"Cunt!"

Draco was scowling at him defiantly and Harry was scowling right back at him for a while, until he grabbed the Slytherin by the shoulders and slammed him hard against the sink, kissing him roughly. Draco kissed him back just as fiercely, his hands immediately starting to rip Harry's clothes off, and Harry didn't mind. Their argument had reminded him of their earlier school years and his cock was already hard from arousal – and he could feel that the same thing had happened to Draco as well.

"Fuck me, you _prick",_ the Slytherin soon hissed against his lips and bit them, his fingers already wrapped around the rock hard member inside the Gryffindor's pants.

"No", Harry surprised both Draco and himself by saying, holding the other man's gaze in his own. "This time _you_ fuck _me_ instead."

He saw Draco's eyes widening of surprise before their lips smashed together again.

Ten minutes later they had apparated to Harry's bedroom and Harry was lying on the bed on his stomach, totally naked, Draco's two long fingers already deep inside him. Until that day, Harry had only topped so it was the first time he was being the bottom and while it felt very weird and embarrassing it _also_ felt very arousing at the same time. Draco, of course, was trying his best to make it even more awkward for Harry by talking dirty as always.

"Oh _yeah,_ Harry, soon you'll know what it feels like", the Slytherin said to Harry in a teasing voice, moving and twisting his fingers at the same time. Harry gasped under him, and the blond continued: "I'm gonna give it to you so _fucking hard."_

"Nngh", was all that Harry managed to say back, shuddering hard as Draco's fingers were probing at his prostate.

"Feels good, eh?" Draco whispered.

"Yeah", Harry answered, his fingers squeezing the sheets, cheeks burning of embarrassment.

The Slytherin kept preparing and teasing Harry for minutes before his fingers were finally replaced by something a lot bigger.

" _Oh fuck..._ ", Draco gasped. "Harry, are you alright?"

"Nnnngh", Harry answered once again, still lying on his stomach, his face buried in a pillow. His ass was burning like hell, Draco's cock stretching him wide open. He didn't understand how Draco had been able to take it so well, like a professional, the first time they'd had sex almost two weeks ago, when he himself was almost crying, his eyes full of barely restrained tears.

"Harry?" Draco asked again. "Are you alright?"

"No", Harry finally answered weakly. "Could you... please... wait for a while?"

Draco bent over him, gently caressing his neck with his lips. "Of course", he said. "Just tell me when you're ready."

Harry nodded, feeling embarrassed to be so weak. He tried his best to get used to Draco inside him, but it was very difficult because the other man's cock was so thick.

Finally he let Draco go on and the Slytherin started to move inside him, very slowly and carefully. It was quite painful and unpleasant at first, and Harry kept biting his lip to not cry out loud. Draco, instead, seemed to enjoy himself and apparently tried to make him more excited by calling Harry by his last name again.

"Good _lord..._ you're so _fucking_ hot and tight", Harry heard him say, and at the same time the Slytherin's hand started to move on his cock. "I swear to you, _Potter,_ I won’t stop until your legs are shaking and you're screaming my name."

Draco pulled away and thrust back in a little harder and deeper and Harry was suddenly shuddering from pleasure, gasping: "Ah, _Malfoy!"_

"Oh yeah, say my name", Draco answered, his voice filled with lust. "I'm gonna fuck you so fucking hard, _Potter,_ make sure you'll never want any girl."

Harry moaned at that, his whole body shaking.

It didn't take long before they had changed the position so that Harry was now lying on his back, facing Draco, and their pace was already harder as well. The Slytherin kept pounding into Harry madly by now, the stormy grey eyes boring deep into his own emerald ones, and Harry held onto him tightly, his fingernails sinking deep into the flesh of the other man's back.

Harry hadn't been able to imagine that it could feel so good. Draco was so deep inside him and saying such dirty things once in a while, and those beautiful eyes looking into his soul at the same time... oh Merlin how _perfect_ it all was. This would definitely not be his last time bottoming, no way. He loved topping Draco, loved being in control, driving the other man crazy and making him scream, but he also loved this totally new experience: submitting himself, being completely under Draco's control, getting Draco the way that no one else had before, and never _would._

He owned Draco Malfoy, and Draco Malfoy owned him, and he never wanted to give up this man.

Finally, at least ten minutes and few more positions later, they reached their climax together. Harry came first, coming by his own hand with a loud cry and Draco followed right after, deep inside of Harry.

Afterwards they were lying on the bed, snuggling and looking at each other.

"Well, how was it?" Draco asked with a smile on his lips, stroking Harry's messy fringe gently with his fingers.

"I loved it", Harry answered honestly. "It was incredible."

Draco's smile widened. "You're right about that. And you took it very well... You were _amazing,_ Harry", he said, and they exchanged a long, loving kiss.

"There's just one thing I've been wondering...", Harry said after a while, hesitating. "Draco... How do you know so much about sex? You told me you haven't had any experience before..."

The Slytherin was still caressing Harry's hair, suddenly looking a little uneasy. "Well... like you already know, I happen to read a lot, and there are lots of books about sex, so..."

"So you've read erotic books and learned from _them?"_ Harry asked, slightly amused. "Really?"

Draco nodded. "Yeah", he said. "Does it bother you?"

Harry shook his head. "No", he said. "Now I know where all that dirty talk comes from." He grinned.

"But it turns you on, doesn't it?" Draco said back, winking.

"Yeah", Harry admitted.

They spent a long time just caressing and kissing each other, until they decided to go and take a shower.

"I can't believe that we're going back to Hogwarts tomorrow", Draco said while getting up from the bed.

"I know... Back to studying again...", Harry groaned.

Draco was eyeing him. "You _are_ gonna tell Weasley about us soon, right?" he asked. "Like you promised?"

"Yes", Harry answered as confidently as he could, but in reality he was already feeling stressed just thinking about it. "Right after I've left Ginny."

"And you better do _that_ one very quickly", the Slytherin said, before adding icily: "I can't stand the idea of seeing her hands on you ever again."

"I promise", Harry said. "Trust me, Draco."

"Fine, I trust you. But you better keep your promise", the Slytherin sneered. "Or else I'm gonna hex your dick off." He flashed a diabolic grin at Harry. "Never mess with Draco Malfoy."


	16. Chapter 16

The next day Harry and Draco packed their stuff and headed back to the King's Cross Railway station and platform 9 ¾. They had hardly managed to enter the platform when they already crashed into the one person they both least wanted to meet.

Theodore Nott was standing only few meters away from them and obviously waiting for someone, immediately laying his eyes on Harry and Draco as they walked by.  
  
"Well, well...", the brunet said, a very forced looking smile on his lips. "Had a nice holiday?"  
  
"Very nice, thanks for asking", Harry answered instead of Draco, flashing a broad smile back at him. Theodore's eyes bored into him. As they passed him and kept walking towards the waiting train, Harry glanced back once only to see Theodore glaring at him.  
  
"Just ignore him", Draco said negligently.  
  
"Yeah", Harry mumbled back, absentmindedly running his hand through his messy hair.  
  
They soon entered the train, Harry on the lead and Draco right after, walking along the long train aisle.  
  
"I should go find Ron and Hermione", Harry stated and glanced at the Slytherin, seeing a sudden, sullen look on his face. "What?" Harry asked.  
  
"I knew it", the blond said with a snort. "It starts already."  
  
"What?" Harry asked again, brows furrowed. He didn't know what Draco was talking about.  
  
"I'm not even allowed to come sit with you."  
  
"What? _No!_ I didn't mean it like that", Harry answered quickly, but the Slytherin had already nudged him aside, continuing his journey without him.  
  
"See you at school", Draco said abruptly, leaving Harry to stare at his back as he walked away, not even once glancing back at him.  
  
  
The train ride towards Hogwarts went slowly. Harry kept chatting with his friends but his thoughts were on different matters. He kept staring out of the window at the passing scenery, thinking of what was waiting for him when they were to arrive at school.  
  
It had become very clear to Harry that Draco was waiting for him to leave Ginny without delay, and Harry had promised to do so. Harry and Ginny had been together for quite a long time and he felt guilty for having to break her heart by leaving her. It wasn't the thing that worried him the most, though.  
  
He was more worried about Ron's and everyone else's reactions when he'd have to tell them about him and Draco. No one had a clue about Harry being gay – or at least bisexual -, he hadn't even known that about himself until quite recently, so it would most definitely come as a shock to everyone. And even if they wouldn't be shocked hearing about his preference for men, they would definitely be shocked to hear who he was leaving his girlfriend for. Would he have any of his old friends left after the revelation? He had no clue. Well, apart from Hermione, of course.  
  
He saw Hermione giving him concerned looks, but because Ron was also sitting with them, Harry couldn't talk to her about the things that worried him.  
  
Harry kept fiddling with his sleeve, his thoughts returning to Draco once again. The Christmas break spent with Draco had been wonderful. He had learned to know the other man so much better and he had gotten used to doing almost everything with him. They had eaten breakfast, lunch and dinner together every day, slept in the same bed, showered together, and most of all: had lots of sex together all around the house, the last time had been that same morning, Harry having taken Draco against the kitchen counter.  
  
Draco had become like a drug to him. A drug that Harry couldn't get enough of.  
  
Anyhow, the whole Christmas break Harry had been kind of living in a bubble. He hadn't wanted to think about school, Ginny or anything else, he had only wanted to concentrate on Draco, and now the reality was hitting him hard. They would soon be back at school and everything would be so different again.  
  
Also, they had hardly managed to enter the train when he had already succeeded in pissing Draco off. He had automatically assumed that after having spent two long weeks with no one else but Harry, Draco would want to sit with his Slytherin friends on their way back to school. And of course Draco had gotten it all wrong. He would have to talk to him as soon as possible, but first they'd have a dinner to attend to.  
  
\---  
  
Harry, Ron and Hermione had almost finished eating dinner in the Great Hall, when they were suddenly accompanied by Ginny, taking a seat right next to Harry so that their bodies were touching.  
  
"Hi, Harry", she said casually, wrapping her arm tightly around him.  
  
Harry felt his stomach tighten. He had not expected Ginny to come to him here, in the middle of the dinner and most of all in front of everyone's eyes. He quickly glanced towards the Slytherin table, luckily noticing that Draco was concentrating on a conversation between him, Blaise, Pansy, Goyle and Theodore.  
  
"Hi, Ginny", he said stiffly. He was feeling very uneasy, totally unsure of how to act. He had planned talking to her tomorrow after classes, but things never seemed to go as he originally planned.  
  
"How was your Christmas break?" Ginny asked.  
  
"It was... great", Harry answered curtly, forking a piece of chicken to his mouth. He glanced across the table, seeing both Ron and Hermione looking uneasy, Ron's cheeks slightly red.  
  
Ginny seemed a little confused because of Harry's tone, but didn't take her arm off of Harry's shoulders. "I missed you so much", she said. "Did you get my present?"  
  
"I did", Harry said.  
  
"Good", Ginny said back shortly. Harry could feel her eyes lingering on his face, clearly trying to understand why her boyfriend was acting so weirdly. "You look different", she notified. "Did you go shopping?"  
  
"Yeah", Harry said. "It was time for me to renew my wardrobe." He forked the last bite from his plate and emptied his glass, swallowing hard.  
  
"Well, I don't mind", Ginny said coquettishly. "It suits you. You look _really good,_ Harry..."  
  
Before Harry managed to say or do anything, Ginny had turned his face with the hand around him and pressed their lips together, kissing him. It took a while for Harry to even realize what was happening before he finally managed to pull away from her.  
  
His eyes automatically travelled through the Great Hall, this time meeting Draco's intense glare. To make the matters worse, Draco wasn't the only one looking at him and Ginny. All of Draco's friends were watching him too, including Theodore. At the moment Harry almost wished to punch Ginny for making the things even more difficult than they had already been.  
  
"Ginny, we need to talk", he said. All warmth was completely gone from his voice.  
  
"I know", Ginny said. "I've just missed you so much and-"  
  
"Right now", Harry said and stood up, dragging his girlfriend with him as he stormed through the Great Hall, almost everyone's eyes following them as they left.  
  
Finally they were outside and Harry led Ginny to the nearest corridor in order to have a serious chat with her.  
  
"What is this about?" Ginny asked him immediately. "Why are you so angry at me?"  
  
Harry took a deep breath and let it out before starting. "Ginny, have you already forgotten what happened before Christmas?" he asked.  
  
Ginny shook her head. "No, I haven't. But didn't you read the card I sent you with the present?"  
  
"Yes", Harry answered. "But that doesn't change anything."  
  
"What do you mean, Harry?" she asked.  
  
"You know what I mean", Harry sighed. "This thing between us... it just isn't working anymore. I know it, you know it. And everyone else knows it too."  
  
Ginny was looking at him, clearly not believing her ears. "You mean y-you... really want to... b-break up with me?" she stammered.  
  
Harry sighed heavily. "I'm sorry, Ginny. I never thought that things would go this way... It's just that I've been thinking about this a lot and... God, I don't even know how to say it. I don't want to hurt you, but I also need to be honest with you, and you'll hear about it soon enough anyway." He paused to take a breath after babbling for so long. This was so hard...  
  
"Hear about _what_ , Harry?" Ginny asked.  
  
"Like you already know, I spent the Christmas break at Grimmauld Place", Harry started. His throat felt strangled. It was now or never.  
  
Ginny gave a slow nod. "Yeah?"  
  
Harry hesitated for a while.  
  
"I... wasn't alone."  
  
Ginny was now looking at him with a blank face. "You weren't alone", she repeated.  
  
"No", Harry said. "I was... with someone else and -"  
  
"What do you mean?!" Ginny gasped. "Don't tell me this is what I think it is, Harry!"  
  
Harry was nervously rubbing his forehead with his hand. "I'm so, _so_ sorry, Ginny, but I can't go on with you anymore. There is... someone else that I..." He lowered his face, staring at his feet instead of his girlfriend. "...that I want to be with."  
  
There was a short silence, only cut by some footsteps leaving the Great Hall.  
  
"Are you serious?" Ginny finally asked.  
  
Harry nodded. "I am", he whispered back, slowly lifting his gaze.  
  
Ginny was staring at him for a while, her brown eyes flaring. Harry was waiting for a snap or a slap to his face, but he definitely didn't expect what happened next.  
  
"Whoever that bitch is, I bet she doesn't kiss you _the way_ _I_ _do!"_ she said icily. She snatched his arm and pushed him against the wall behind him.  
  
"Ginny, what are you- nnnngh!"  
  
Harry's angry question was cut off by Ginny kissing him again, roughly. His girlfriend was clearly trying to prove some point here but once again Harry realized that kissing with Ginny didn't make him feel anything. It was nothing compared to the kisses with Draco. Kissing with Draco was euphoric, it was intense, it was everything... By kissing Harry, Ginny only made it even clearer to him that he didn't want anyone else but Draco.  
  
"You slimy, _lying_ piece of SHIT!!!"  
  
Harry's thoughts were cut off by a familiar voice, and he instantly broke the kiss. He and Ginny were now both staring at Draco, Goyle and Theodore standing few meters away from them. Goyle was shaking his head, and Theodore's mouth was slightly open as they all stared at Harry.  
  
" _Draco..._ ", Harry breathed in shock, immediately realizing the situation he was in. He instantly pushed Ginny away from him. "This isn't what it looks like. _I swear!_ I was only -"  
  
 _"Don't talk to me!"_ Draco shouted at him, his face twisted with rage. "I know what this is!" He stormed pass them, his hands clenched to fists, shaking with anger.  
  
"Why did you do that?!" Harry hissed at Ginny, who was looking totally perplexed.  
  
"What?! What the hell is happening here?!" was all that she managed to say. Her eyes were travelling around at everyone around them, trying to find an explanation that didn't come.  
  
"Draco, wait!" Harry shouted at his boyfriend, quickly running after him, leaving Ginny standing there with her mouth wide open.  
  
"Draco! Don't go!"  
  
He soon caught up with the Slytherin and grabbed him from by the shoulder, only to get roughly pushed to the floor on his back, hitting the back of his head very painfully. Everything went black for a few seconds, but he could still hear Draco shouting at him from above.  
  
"KEEP your hands OFF me, _you fucking bastard!_ You'll _NEVER_ touch me again!!!"  
  
Harry was trying to get up. He tried to gather himself up but his head was spinning and hurting badly because of the smash. "Draco... please...", he slurred desperately, hand on the back of his head.  
  
"Don't bother trying that shit with me! You just made your choice!" Draco hissed back, not listening to him.  
  
"No, Draco, listen to me -"  
  
"No. _You_ listen to me now!" A cold, morbid smile rose to the Slytherin's trembling lips as he leaned a little closer to Harry, his teary, stormy grey eyes flaring. "You think I'm fucking stupid, do you?! You think you can just toy with me and instantly go back to snog your little girlfriend when we come back, without consequences?! Wrong!"  
  
"I wasn't playing with you!" Harry said desperately. "You must believe me!"  
  
"You just made your life a _living_ _hell_ , Potter. I'll show you what you fucking GET when you mess with Draco Malfoy!"  
  
Harry tried to get up and grab the other man, but the Slytherin punched him hard in the face with his fist. Harry groaned in pain, falling backwards again. The pain was terrible, and with blurry eyes he saw Draco looking at him with tears flowing along his face before storming away, soon followed by Goyle who flashed a loathing glare at Harry as he went.  
  
Harry felt his eyes tearing up too because of all the emotions going through him at the moment: a massive amount of pain, anger, hate, sorrow... And most of all: emptiness. Draco hated him. In the morning he had had everything, and now he didn't have anything at all. Without Draco he was nothing.  
  
"Harry, are you alright?" Ginny walked to him and asked, sounding and looking totally taken aback. She leaned over Harry and pulled him up from the floor.  
  
"I'm not _alright,_ Ginny!" Harry snapped at her as soon as he was standing again. His head was still spinning wildly and everything was a bit blurry. "You've ruined everything!"  
  
" _I've_ ruined everything?!" Ginny hissed back at him. "Would you finally mind telling me what is going on here?!"  
  
Harry was boiling with frustration and anger.  
  
"I would have done that already, if you hadn't -" he heard yet another footsteps and turned his head to the right, seeing Theodore standing two meters away from them, shaking his head with a crooked smile on his lips. "What the hell are you smiling at?!" he snapped.  
  
"Well done, Potter", Theodore said with a sneer, and clapped his hands together. "You _really_ exceeded my expectations."  
  
 _"SHUT UP_ you fucking -"  
  
"WOULD YOU MIND TELLING ME WHAT IS GOING ON?!" Ginny shouted before Harry almost attacked Theodore.  
  
Harry turned towards his girlfriend again, about to speak but Theodore was quicker than him.  
  
"I'll tell you what's going on", the brunet said, a mischievous glint in his dark eyes. "Your boyfriend spent the whole Christmas break with Draco Malfoy behind your back."  
  
Ginny was staring at Theodore, her eyes widened with shock. "WHAT?!" she snapped, turning her eyes towards Harry instead.  
  
"I was as shocked too", Theodore continued overdramatically.  
  
" _Please_ tell me that isn't true, Harry?!" Ginny snapped. Her whole body was shaking and her eyes were starting to fill with tears. She was starting to realize the ugly truth behind everything. "Tell me he is _lying!_ "  
  
But Harry couldn't lie anymore. "It is true", he admitted. "Draco's the one I was talking about... I'm... I'm in love with him."  
  
"You're IN LOVE with _HIM?!"_ Ginny hissed from between her gritted teeth. "You've got to be joking!"  
  
"I'm not", Harry said. "I'm really, really sorry, Ginny. I don't know how or when it happened, but it did and... I've fallen in love with him."  
  
Ginny's whole body was trembling and tears were now flowing out of her eyes openly. She looked totally wrecked. "How could you fall in love with _HIM?!_ After _everything_ he's done to you and your friends?!" She was sobbing heart-brokenly. "I can't believe you would do this to me, Harry! I thought you _loved_ me!"  
  
Harry had never felt so guilty in his entire life. He hated to see Ginny's heart breaking in front of his eyes, he hated to see her world falling apart... and it was all his fault. He should have broken up with her a long time ago, way before starting to fool around with Draco. He had completely destroyed Ginny, not caring about her feelings at all. He had been so selfish.  
  
"I never wanted to hurt you, Ginny, I swear!" he said, devastated. "I do care about you."  
  
Ginny didn't seem to listen to him. "Is that why you couldn't sleep with me?!" she hissed. "Because of him?!"  
  
Harry let out a heavy sigh, finally nodding slowly. "I... really am sorry", he whispered.  
  
"You said it didn't feel right with me...", Ginny muttered, staring at the floor now, still shaking. "You said you couldn't do it..." Her voice faded away and she was quiet for a while before suddenly lifting her gaze back to Harry, eyes widening. "Don't tell me you have _slept_ with _him?_ _!_ " she cried out.  
  
Harry couldn't say it out loud, but from the look on his face Ginny immediately knew the answer anyway. Her face twisted with disbelief and disgust.  
  
"You've had sex with _Malfoy_ ", she stated, shaking her head. "I can't believe this!!!"  
  
"Ginny-"  
  
"Don't even talk to me, Harry!" Ginny cried, rubbing her eyes with her shaking hands. "You've been fucking him behind my back and _laughing_ at me!"  
  
Harry shook his head. "No one's been laughing at you! I would never laugh at you! I care about you!"  
  
" _LIAR!_ If you really cared about me you wouldn't have done this to me!" Ginny sobbed.  
  
"You can't choose who you fall in love with, Ginny", Harry tried to defend himself. "I didn't do this on purpose. It just... happened!"  
  
"You disgust me, Harry! We are SO over!" Ginny snapped and slapped him hard in the face before storming away just like Draco, only in the opposite direction. _"I HATE YOU!"_  
  
Harry was staring after his now ex-girlfriend, a hand pressed against his burning cheek. He had already been pushed to the floor and hit his head because of it, he had been punched by Draco, and now he had been slapped by Ginny... What a perfect start for a new term... Also, he could imagine Draco crying his eyes out at the moment, thinking that Harry had only been using him in a cruel, twisted way... The thought was killing him, and...  
  
His eyes turned to Theodore who was still standing at the same spot. Their eyes met and Theodore opened his mouth to speak, but before he got a word out of his mouth Harry had already attacked the man. He wasn't going to listen another word from Theodore or see another satisfied smile.  
  
They were soon rolling on the floor, trying to hit and kick each other as much as they could, groaning and cursing loudly.  
  
"Get _off_ me, Potter!" Theodore cursed, trying to kick him off.  
  
"HELP! SOMEONE HELP!" someone shouted from far away.  
  
Harry didn't care. His head felt like exploding, he was filled with anger and pain and he wanted to cause as much pain to this man who had enjoyed his distress. He kept kicking the other man, his fingernails sinking into the other man's neck at the same time.  
  
"Stop... you _fucking..._ ", Theodore cursed, only to be hit right in the face by Harry.  
  
"MR. POTTER! MR. NOTT! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!" Headmistress McGonagall's voice echoed from the other end of the corridor, and they were soon pulled apart from each other with a quick wave of a wand.  
  
Harry was panting and so was Theodore. Their faces were dripping with blood as they were staring at the Headmistress.  
  
"What is the meaning of this?! Care to explain yourselves?" Headmistress McGonagall demanded to know. She was really furious. "I've never seen anything like this, and right after starting a feast!"  
  
"He attacked me!" Theodore said abruptly, holding his other hand in front of his bloody face and pointing at Harry with the other one. "He's lost his mind!"  
  
"Detention", McGonagall snapped. "Both of you. Starting RIGHT NOW."  
  
"But I didn't do anything!" Theodore shouted. "It was your Golden Boy who-"  
  
"Silence, Mr. Nott! I want to hear no objections! Both of you, follow me. NOW."  
  
\---  
  
Three hours later Harry was finally walking towards the 8th year's dormitories, with Theodore beside him. Their detention had consisted of cleaning under Filch's watchful eye and of course they had been forced to work together the whole detention. They hadn't said a word to each other the whole time, and there was still a deep silence between them as they were walking, until finally Theodore broke it with a question.  
  
"Did you really mean it?"  
  
Harry, who had been drowning in his thoughts, slowly turned to look at the other man. He had no idea what Theodore was talking about. He was too busy thinking of Draco and how he could manage to make the man listen to him.  
  
"Did I mean what?" he asked.  
  
"You said to her that you are in love with him. Draco", Theodore said. "Did you really mean it?"  
  
Harry frowned. "Of course I mean it!" he grunted.  
  
"Then why did you kiss her?" Theodore asked sharply.  
  
"I didn't kiss her! She kissed me! I was going to push her away!"  
  
Theodore was watching him mistrustfully for a while, before finally saying slowly: "So you didn't just want to have a little fun with Draco and then just... dump him."  
  
Harry stopped walking. So did Theodore.  
  
"What kind of person do you think I am?!" Harry snapped.  
  
"I don't know", Theodore said in a cold tone, looking at him deep in the eyes as if trying to read his thoughts.  
  
"I'm not a heartless bastard, Theodore", Harry said icily. "I care about him!"  
  
"So do I", Theodore said back. _"I love him!"_  
  
"I know", Harry sighed.  
  
"No, you _don't!_ I've been there for him for years! I've been by his side when he's needed to talk to someone or a shoulder to cry on. I've always been there and I would have given him _everything!_ But he doesn't care, he doesn't give a _shit_ about me! How do you think it makes me feel?! Year after year he only kept looking at _you,_ talking about _you_ – a short-tempered stupid git who hated him! What does he see in you, Potter?! How are you better than _me?!"_  
  
"I don't know", Harry said with a heavy sigh. His eyes were filling with tears again, just thinking about Draco and how long the man had secretly wanted him, just to get his heart broken by him. "But it doesn't matter anymore... He hates me and never wants me near him again. So what are you waiting for? It's your chance to steal him."  
  
With another heavy sigh and tears burning in his eyes he kept walking towards their dormitories. Theodore soon followed right after.  
  
"Yeah, I _could_ do that", he said tiredly after catching Harry up. "But even if he'd be with me, he'd never love me, you know, not really..."  
  
"How do you know?" Harry sighed.  
  
"He wouldn't be happy with me, because for some inexplicable reason he only loves _you",_ Theodore said, rolling his eyes.  
  
Harry let out another heavy sigh, gaze on his moving feet. Theodore's words made him feel even more terrible. "But after today, he hates me. I wonder if he'll ever even talk to me again."  
  
Theodore was quiet for a while, before finally saying: "If you _really_ love him back and aren't just after his body or money... I guess I could, perhaps, try to help you."  
  
Harry turned to look at the other man, frowning. "Why would you help me? You hate me."  
  
It was Theodore's turn to sigh. "I don't hate you, Potter. I hate the fact that he wants you instead of me", he said. "But I want him to be happy, and if he's only happy with you... what can I do."  
  
Harry was confused. He would never have thought that he would end up having a civil conversation with Theodore Nott of all the people. But then again, who would have thought that he'd end up as friends and even more with Draco Malfoy?  
  
"So you'll help me?" he asked sceptically.  
  
"Yes", the other man replied. "But if you _are_ lying to me and you'll only hurt him again -"  
  
"No", Harry cut him off right away. "I swear."  
  
Theodore was eyeing Harry closely for a while, a pungent look in his dark eyes, trying to decide if he could trust him or not.  
  
"Alright. What can I do for you?" he finally sighed.


	17. Chapter 17

Harry was sitting on his bed in his and Ron's bedroom, nervously fiddling with his fingernails.  
  
Half an hour had already passed since he and Theodore had come back from their detention, and Theodore had immediately went to Draco's room to have a chat with him for Harry. At least Harry had _thought_ that Theodore would do it for him, but because they’d already been there alone for _so long_ , Harry was already starting to suspect Theodore having just fooled him. He couldn't help feeling a little worried that Theodore might still try to take an advantage of the situation and steal Draco from him.

After all, it had become very clear to Harry that Theodore's feelings towards Draco hadn't died. The man was still very much in love with Draco and Theodore had proved to be quite cunning before, Slytherin that he was, so Harry couldn't trust him completely. Actually, he didn't know if he could trust him _at all_... Harry turned his eyes towards the closed door, willing himself to calm down. Draco wouldn't do anything with Theodore. Draco loved _him_ , not Theodore.  
  
The door opened without a knock and he jumped.  
  
Instead of Theodore, however, he saw both Ron and Hermione coming in, and from the looks on his friend's faces he knew they had heard about him and Draco.  
  
"Is it _true?!_ " Ron demanded immediately. "Is it true what they're talking about?!"  
  
"Ron...", Hermione tried to calm her angry boyfriend down.  
  
Harry sighed and stood up, hands in his jeans pockets, turning to face his friends. "I don't know. It depends on what you've heard", he said, carefully lifting his chin up.  
  
"I don't know if I even want to say it", Ron said. He wasn't able to look at Harry in the eyes anymore. Instead he was now staring at the floor, looking disgusted. His normally reddish face looked almost as pale as Draco's.  
  
"If you want an answer, you have to say it", Harry said dryly.  
  
"They're saying that... you've been _fucking_ Malfoy behind Ginny's back..." He looked like he was about to throw up any minute now.  
  
Harry was glaring at his best friend. _"They?"_ he repeated questioningly.  
  
"Dean, Seamus, Pansy... _everyone._ It's all they've been talking about", Ron said quickly. "But what really matters is is it true?!"  
  
"It is", Harry said without hesitation, crossing his arms across his chest. "Got a problem with it?"  
  
Ron lifted his gaze from the floor. _"What do you think?!"_ he snapped. "I _damn well_ have a problem with it! You've been cheating on _my sister_ , and like that wasn't already bad enough, you've been doing it with _Malfoy!_ That's... that's SICK! What the hell's gotten into you, Harry?!"  
  
"Ron! Calm down!" Hermione said strictly, but Ron didn't pay any attention to his girlfriend.  
  
"Why would you do something like that, Harry?!" he continued.  
  
"Why do you think?!" Harry snapped back.  
  
"How the bloody hell should I know?! Don't ask me! There's no reasonable explanation for fucking Malfoy!"  
  
"Ron!" Hermione tried again.  
  
"Fucking, fucking, fucking _..._ I'm tired of hearing that word!" Harry lost his temper. "It's not just about _fucking,_ though everyone certainly seems to think so!"  
  
"What the hell do you mean?!" Ron snarled.  
  
"What do you think?!" Harry shouted. "I'm _in love_ with him, you dumbass!"  
  
The room fell silent. Ron was looking at Harry in shock, his mouth fully open, and Harry was looking defiantly back at him.  
  
"In love. With HIM?!" Ron hissed. "I know we've become closer with him but that's just... just... What the hell, Harry?! Think of all he's done to you, to _us!_ "  
  
"There's nothing wrong with my memory, Ron!" Harry said angrily. "I haven't forgotten what he's done."  
  
There was a loud knock on the door.  
  
"But you're still _having sex_ with him?!" Ron hissed.  
  
They all turned around when the door opened and Theodore walked in, looking seriously fed up. "If you wish to talk to him, you better go now before he changes his mind", he announced tiredly.  
  
"Thanks", Harry answered, already walking towards the door. He was so relieved to finally get to explain everything to Draco.  
  
"Hey! Wait a minute! Where do you think you're going?!" Ron snarled. "I'm not done talking yet!"  
  
"But I am", Harry said. "I need to talk to my boyfriend."  
  
After that he and Theodore disappeared to the corridor.  
  
"His _boyfriend?!_ " Harry heard Ron gasping before he closed the door after himself and instantly headed towards Draco's door. He was already about to knock when he heard Theodore speaking again and turned to glance at him.  
  
"What?" he asked.  
  
Theodore was standing at his own door, glaring at him. "I _said_ that you won't get any help from me from now on. If you hurt him, you're on your own", Theodore said.  
  
Harry didn't bother to say anything in return. He turned towards the door again, took a deep breath and let it out before knocking three times and entering Draco's room.  
  
  
Draco was sitting on the edge of his bed and staring at the painting as Harry walked in. Harry swallowed, closed the door and slowly walked to the bed, landing to sit next to the Slytherin. The other man didn't turn to look at Harry.  
  
"I... don't know how much Theodore already told you", Harry started after a while. "So I'll start from the beginning."  
  
Draco didn't say anything, but Harry knew he was listening.  
  
"First of all, you got it all wrong when we were in the train", he said. "Of course you could have come sit with us. I just thought that you’d want to go see your friends since we had been alone for two weeks without seeing anyone else."  
  
He glanced at the other man who clearly didn't feel like answering anything. He was still staring at the painting with an empty gaze.  
  
"And those kisses with Ginny..." Harry let out a heavy sigh. "God damnit, Draco, _I_ did not kiss her! She was the one who initiated it! When she kissed me in the Great Hall I was shocked, and then I saw you looking at us and wanted to clear things up with her instantly. So I led her to that corridor to tell her that it was over between us, for good." He glanced again at Draco who was still listening to him without one word to him. "I told her that I can't be with her anymore, because I want to be with someone else. She got pissed, told me that _‘no bitch would kiss me like she can’_ , pushed me against that wall and kissed me. Then you came and... you know what happened after that."  
  
Draco had lowered his gaze to the floor and Harry finally took a closer look at him. Draco's eyes were all puffy and red and it was clear that he had been crying the whole time that Harry had spent in detention with Theodore.  
  
"Draco, look at me", Harry said, feeling terribly guilty though he hadn't even actually done anything wrong. It had all been nothing but a huge misunderstanding, but he still felt guilty as hell. _"Please."_  
  
The Slytherin finally turned to face him, and Harry could see how much pain he had caused him involuntarily. It was all there to be seen in his eyes.  
  
"Draco", he said, lifting his hand to stroke the other man's platinum hair with his fingers. "It's over between me and Ginny. We're done, finished, _for good._ Also, Ron knows about us and probably hates me... Everyone else in these dorms knows about us as well. Actually... I think the whole school might already know by now. Including the professors. So..." He paused again just to look at the Slytherin deep in the eyes for a while. "… No more secrets, Draco. Nothing to hide anymore. I'm all yours. If you still want me, that is", he finished his sentence, still caressing the other man's hair.  
  
"When I saw you with her again... I thought you had changed your mind", Draco finally spoke, his lips trembling. His voice was all raspy because of having been crying so much, and he was about to start crying again.  
  
"Why would I change my mind?" Harry asked in a gentle tone.  
  
The other man shrugged, lowering his gaze. "I don't know... There are many reasons... I've been an arse to you ever since we were kids... You've always been after girls, not guys... You're the man who killed Voldemort, so you could have anyone... Why would you want _me?_ You've said that you want to get married someday, have a family..."  
  
"With you", Harry cut him off, a gentle smile rising to his lips. "I thought I already made it obvious enough, but I'll say it one more time." The Slytherin raised his gaze again to look at him in the eyes. "You're the only one I want, Draco. I don't want anyone else but you."  
  
Draco's eyes were welling up with tears again, but this time they were tears of happiness.  
  
"I'm nothing without you", Harry continued, pressing their foreheads together and holding the sides of the other man's neck in his hands, looking deep into his grey eyes with his own green ones. "I loveyou."  
  
"I love you too", Draco whispered and pressed their lips together.  
  
They shared a long, tender and loving kiss, hands running gently on each other's bodies. Harry's whole body was filled with warmth as he held Draco close to him. He loved this man so much.  
  
"I'm so sorry for punching you", Draco breathed against his lips when they finally had to take a breath. "But seeing you kissing her again... not only once but twice... You have _no idea_ how that made me feel, Harry."  
  
"Draco, I know", Harry said, his fingers caressing the other man's waist. "It will never happen again. I'm all yours. Trust me."  
  
"I do", the Slytherin said and they melted into another kiss.  
  
\---  
  
"Love you, Harry..."  
  
Harry and Draco were lying under a blanket on the Slytherin's bed, their naked bodies entwined. They had just spent almost an hour making love to each other and Harry was exhausted. He had wanted Draco to top him again, and blimey, it had been fantastic.  
  
"I love you too, Draco", he said back, thumb caressing the other man's jawline, once again drowning in the other man's eyes. "What would you say if I asked you... once we graduate, will you move in with me?"  
  
Draco was clearly dazed by his question. "What? Are you serious?" he asked. Harry nodded without any hesitation and Draco continued, sounding very unsure: "Harry, it sounds _wonderful_ , but we've only been together like -"  
  
"Two weeks, I know", Harry said. "But I've known you for years and you've been a big part of my life... in both good and bad."  
  
"Mostly bad", Draco commented.  
  
"Well, maybe that is true. But what would I do without you? My life would be empty and boring, and I already know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So... what do you think?"  
  
A short silence fell over and they just looked at each other until Draco finally answered.  
  
"Well... like you already know, I am planning to move out of the Manor anyway, so... _maybe._ Why not." He flashed a tiny smile at Harry. "If we're still together then, that is. You never know what will happen when you think about our history..."  
  
Harry let out a short, warm laugh. "Draco, don't even think that I will ever let you go. That will never happen", he said, moving his fingers lightly against the Slytherin's spine.  
  
Draco raised his eyebrow. "Possessive again, are we?" he chuckled before kissing him.  
  
They spent a long time kissing, holding and looking at each other before finally turning the lights off, about to get some sleep. Harry had no intention of going back to his and Ron's room tonight. Actually, he would rather sleep next to Draco every night from now on.  
  
"You do know that after we leave this room tomorrow morning, nothing is the way it used to be", Draco mumbled to Harry's ear, naked body pressed against his back.  
  
Harry's lips were curved up in a dreamy smile. "I know", he said back tiredly. "Everything will be a lot better."  
  
\---  
  
 _One year later:_  
  
  
"How the hell is it possible that the _entire_ Slytherin class is homosexual?!"  
  
Harry laughed. Ron and Hermione, who had come to visit him at 12 Grimmauld Place, had just heard from him that Theodore Nott and Blaise Zabini were now dating and Ron, of course, couldn't get over it.  
  
Harry wasn't surprised. After all, it had taken over a month before his best friend had approved of his and Draco's relationship a year ago, and he still wasn't happy about it. Harry himself, however, couldn't possibly have been any happier.  
  
After he and Draco had started dating openly his life had changed to a lot better. Of course people had first been glaring at them and talking shit about them a lot. Also, they had soon been on the front page of the Daily Prophet as well - just like Harry had figured that they would: _'The Boy Who Lied: Harry Potter's secret affair with_ _the_ _Malfoy heir.'_ However, after the biggest ruckus had passed and they hadn't had anything to hide anymore, they had been able to fully concentrate on each other and school. By the end of the school year they had both passed their N.E.W.T.S with excellent grades and graduated, and after that Draco had moved out from Wiltshire's Malfoy Manor to live with Harry in London.  
  
"Not all of us", a drawling voice commented from the hallway, cutting through Harry's thoughts. " _Greg's_ not gay."  
  
All three of them turned to glance at Draco who was already walking towards them. He’d just come back home after visiting his father in Azkaban.  
  
"But all you other guys are", Ron continued. "That's bloody weird."  
  
Draco reached the living room, bending down to give Harry a quick kiss on the lips. "Hi", he said.  
  
"Hi", Harry said back, a gentle smile on his lips. "How's Lucius?"  
  
"He's fine", Draco answered with a smirk, running his fingers through his now almost shoulder length platinum locks. "I know this might come as a shock to all of you but he wasn't too happy to hear about our engagement."  
  
Harry laughed. "Oh, _really?_ "  
  
"Yep. What a surprise", Draco said before changing the subject. "I think I'll go make some tea. Does anyone else want some?"  
  
Everyone nodded and he turned around, heading towards the kitchen. Harry's eyes followed his gorgeous fiancé as he walked away. Damn how lucky he was.  
  
"Ginny wasn't too happy to read about your engagement in the Prophet, either", Hermione said, an uneasy look on her face.  
  
Harry sighed, shaking his head. "I know. We saw her at Diagon Alley two days ago and I can tell you that it was not a warm reunion."  
  
Hermione gave Harry an apologetic smile. "She'll forgive you some day", she said.  
  
"After she finally stops waiting for you to go back to her", Ron added.  
  
"Yeah... That will never happen", Harry said, his eyes still on the kitchen where Draco was busy making tea for them.  
  
"So... you really want to spend the rest of your life with Malfoy?" Ron asked, lowering his voice. "You seriously want to marry him?"  
  
Hermione scowled at her boyfriend. "Ron!" she hissed.  
  
"I _heard_ that, Weasley", Draco announced from the kitchen, his voice showing no interest in Ron's opinion of him whatsoever.  
  
Ron sighed, leaning closer to Harry in his chair. "You _really_ are sure about it?" he asked.  
  
Harry's eyes travelled to the wall where the Black family's old picture had been replaced by a large picture of him and Draco.  
  
"Yes", he said, a soft smile rising to his lips.

There was no doubt about it. He was going to spend the rest of his life making Draco happy.

THE END 💙💙

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos warm my heart, and encourage me to post more fanfics in the future! I love to read your thoughts. They really make my day! 💕


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